Where is the bottom?

[rednose]

Well I lasted 2 days and went right back to drinking.
So where was your bottom. I can't seem to find the bottom that makes me quit once and for
all.

Hating my life..

Rednose

[Peanut]

Where is the bottom?

I agree with Molly - "Hating my life" is pretty bottom, and it is where I have been lately. Same as you, over the lcouple of years, I would go 2 days AF, then another month or more drinking. I would just throw in the towel and think, that's it, I can't do it, screw it, it's just easier to accept my fate and drink. But think how horrible it feels. I am only on day 3 AF here, days 3and 4 being the hardest for me, and I am sticking very close to this site to give me strength. Just hang in there and try, try again!!!!
I'm thinking about you!!
peanut

[Byrdlady]

Where is the bottom?

Rednose....the bottom is where you make it.
ALK'ism is a progressive disease....if I had quit this madness when I was in Stage 1 or 2, I would have saved my family, friends, and myself an awful lot of worry and heartache. But I hung in there until I was a solid Stage 3 and I was in the team photo for Stage 4. Molly's right, you can't see it while you are in it, but make a pact with yourself to do 7 solid days AF...and then go from there. It does NOT get any easier with practice, I can tell you that, it gets HARDER. If you haven't been thru the Tool Box yet, I would strongly suggest that...the link is below. I have attached the 4 Stages of Alcoholism for you. Save yourself and those who love you a lot of grief and stop now!! Today. It is worth it. I promise. Byrdie

The 4 stages of alcoholism
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alcoholism is a progressive degenerative disease that includes the following four symptoms: craving, physical dependence, tolerance, and the loss of control.

Alcoholism is a complex topic that can be better understood when it is studied and assessed via the four alcoholism stages. And keep in mind that when the term "alcoholism" is used, this also means "alcohol addiction," "alcohol dependency," or "alcohol dependence."

Alcoholism: The First Stage

In the first stage of alcoholism, drinking is no longer social but becomes a means of emotional escape from inhibitions, problems, inhibitions. Stated differently, during the first stage of alcoholism, drinking is, in many instances, a psychological attempt to escape from reality. For instance, early in the disease an individual starts to depend on the mood-altering effects of alcohol.

Another observable characteristic of the first stage of alcoholism is that a slow and gradual increase in tolerance develops, meaning that more and more amounts of alcohol are needed for the individual to "get high" or to "feel the buzz." For example, it is common for problem drinkers in the first stage of alcoholism to start gulping one or two drinks before attending a social function and then to increase social drinking to 3 to 5 drinks per day.

Alcoholism: The Second Stage

In the second stage of alcoholism, the need to drink becomes more powerful. For example, it is common during this stage for the problem drinker to start to drink earlier in the day.

As tolerance increases, furthermore, the individual with the drinking problem drinks not because of psychological tension or stress relief, but because of his or her dependence on alcohol. During this stage of the disease, even though the "loss of control" does not occur on a regular basis, it is, nevertheless, starting to become more noticeable by others such as relatives, family members, neighbors, friends, and co-workers.

Also during this stage of the disease, the problem drinker may begin to feel more concerned and embarrassed about his or her drinking. Often during this stage, problem drinkers are unsuccessful in their attempts to stop drinking.

In this stage, physical symptoms such as hangovers, blackouts, hand tremors, and stomach problems increase. Interestingly, instead of seeing their drinking as the root of the many problems and issues they experience, however, drinkers with a drinking problem in this stage frequently start to blame others and things external to themselves for their difficulties.

Alcoholism: The Third Stage

In the third stage of alcoholism, the loss of control becomes more severe and more observable. This means that problem drinkers are unable to drink in accordance with their intentions. For example, once the individual takes the first drink, he or she commonly can no longer control further drinking behavior, in spite of the fact that the intent might have been to have just "one or two drinks." It should be stressed that an important aspect of this stage of the illness is the following: the drinker often starts to experience more serious drinking problems as well as alcohol-related employment, relationship, financial, and legal problems.

In the third stage of alcoholism, it is common for the problem drinker to start avoiding friends and family and to show a lack of interest in activities and events that once were fun or important. Also typical during this stage are "eye-openers," that is, drinks that are taken whenever the problem drinker awakens. Eye-openers are taken mainly to "calm the nerves," lessen a hangover, or to quiet the feelings of remorse the individual occasionally experiences after a period of time without consuming a drink.

As the drinking increases the individual with the drinking problem starts to neglect most things of importance, even necessities such as food, water, personal hygiene, shelter, and personal interaction. And finally, during this stage, the drinker often makes half-hearted attempts at getting professional medical assistance.

Alcoholism: The Fourth Stage

The fourth and last stage of alcoholism is characterized by a chronic loss of control. In the earlier stages of the illness, the problem drinker may have been successful in maintaining a job. Due to the fact that drinking during this stage frequently starts earlier in the day and commonly continues throughout the day, however, few, if any, full-time jobs can be maintained under these conditions.

In the earlier stages of the illness, the problem drinker had a choice whether he or she would take the first drink. After taking the first drink, the drinker typically lost all control and would then continue drinking. In the last stage of alcoholism, however, alcoholics no longer have a choice: they need to drink in order to function on a daily basis.

During the fourth stage of alcoholism, benders are typical. More to the point, in the fourth stage of alcoholism the alcoholic frequently gets helplessly drunk and may remain in this predicament for a number of days or weeks. The unattainable goal for the drinker while engaging in his or her bender is to experience the "high" they he or she once experienced.

In the second or third stages of alcoholism the drinker's hands may have trembled slightly on mornings after getting drunk the previous night. In the fourth and last stage of alcoholism, conversely, alcoholics get "the shakes" whenever they attempt or are forced to refrain from drinking.

These tremors are an indication of a serious nervous disorder that now affects the drinker's entire body. When "the shakes" are combined with hallucinations, furthermore, the result is known as "the DTs" or delirium tremens. The DTs are a potentially deadly kind of alcoholism withdrawal that almost always takes place unless the alcoholic receives immediate alcoholism treatment. It may come as no surprise that after an attack of the DTs, more than a few alcoholics promise to never drink again. Sadly, most of them do not and cannot fulfill their promise. Consequently, they more often than not return to drinking and the alcoholic drinking patterns and drinking problem start all over again.


From the information discussed above, it can be concluded that the four stages of alcoholism paint a bleak picture for individuals who are alcohol addicted. Perhaps learning about the destructive and damaging outcomes and the unhealthy nature of alcoholism may not make a much of an impact on most individuals who are already chronically alcohol dependent.

It is hoped, however, that by exposing the facts about alcohol dependency and about the stages of alcoholism to our youth BEFORE they start consuming alcohol in an abuse and irresponsible manner will prevent many of our teenagers from experiencing the drinking problems and the unhealthy and devastating realities suffered by most alcoholics

Finding a quality treatment program can be a difficult process. That's why it is important to log on & post here daily and of course other forums or organisations like this,
copied from web.

[Daily wine]

Where is the bottom?

That was awesome information
DW

[kambob]

Where is the bottom?

The bottom is different for different people. Some lose their families, their homes, their jobs and end up begging on the street for a few bucks to buy the next bottle of cheap plonk. Some get a wake-up call with a diagnosis of brain damage or liver problems. And then there's people like me who just get tired.

As I mentioned in a previous thread, I've known of my alcoholism for years, but just kept on drinking because I couldn't stop. One evening a few weeks ago, it hit me like a brick that if I didn't stop drinking, I was going to die sooner rather than later. Thoughts of death and disability had been constant for the last couple of years, and I wondered if it was some sort of premonition for the future ahead.....apart from the fact that those thoughts in themselves that were overwhelmingly depressing. But I couldn't begin to imagine a life without alcohol.....seriously, it was just unthinkable!

So I decided to stop thinking! I went into auto-pilot, got me to a Dr who set me up with meds to do a home-based detox, and took it one day at a time from there. I didn't analyse what was happening, didn't allow myself to start dissecting my history too much, just made it my task to not drink.

And it was easier than I could ever have hoped. The fear of living without booze disappeared almost immediately (two or three days), but that's not to say I don't think it about it. Every morning, I wake up so bloody grateful that I didn't drink the night before, and that's what makes it worthwhile.

kambob

[allswell]

Where is the bottom?

When the desire to change overwhelmingly outweighs the current state of life signaled my bottom but each of us is different. There is so much good advice from the knowledgeable posters above Rednose. At some point we're all at a crossroads with this horrible, life depriving way of existing, maybe this is the time you need to get serious. I know for a fact you won't regret it if you do even though there will be some work involved.

[witts end]

Where is the bottom?

wow.....some good advise here
I think it's different for everyone and I do believe the more times you try to be af and slip back it does get harder to quit
I recognise step one .....must have missed 2 because i always wait till 5 o'clock once i had the first I'd keep going and didn't care about anything else
stage 4 parts are true i did get the shakes and I'd make sure I had enough alcohol in the cupboard to last the night ........never drank during the day ...always at night ....had blackouts ...and not remember anything .......I need to get my respect back again but for me .....It's going to be a long time for me to gain my husbands respect again .....he coped the brunt of my drinking
I'm doing it for myself ..and my health
started doing juices so I get all the vitamins needed and also went shopping for chocolates and lollies yesterday.........hid them so no-one else will get them...... change usually it's the extra cast I'm hiding
thanks everyone for you help ....much appreciated

[Unwasted]

Where is the bottom?

Rednose, are you ok? I was wondering if you had considered getting some counseling or trying a medication.

UN

[jenniech]

Where is the bottom?

hitting bottom is completely personal just as the kind of alcoholic you are is completely personal. I know people who can go weeks without drinking but then once they start drinking, they literally cannot stop and they become disgustingly intoxicated. These binges slowly get closer and closer together in terms of time until they are binging several times a week.

THen there are those types of alcoholics that drink morning noon and night all day everday. They don't care what it is as long as there is alcohol in it (my dad was like that)

Then there are those, like myself, who waited until 5pm everyday and only drank one thing....highly functioning and even my husband had no idea.

There are probably many other types of alcoholics...those just seem the most common. A bottom for each type looks very different.

Only YOU know when you have hit bottom. Here is a test.....In the morning, when you wake up, look at yourself in the mirror. Really look hard with particular focus on your eyes. Make note of what you see. At night, just before bed, do it again. If you see joy, happiness and freedom, then you have not hit bottom.

I took this test and was horrified by what I saw. I saw emptiness in my eyes. There were so many things in life that were available for me to truly enjoy but my eyes were empty. I started not caring about anything. That was my bottom.

[kuya]

Where is the bottom?

As is often the case......the answer to your problem lies in yourself.

You posted the following some little time back.........


[Quote]
I am not any different than I was before.

It has been along time since I have posted on this site. You see I was
Going to be different than all of you, I was going to be the one that could control his drinking after a short stint of being sober.
Well here I am to tell you all I am right back to where I was in January,
Trying to find peace in the bottom of a vodka bottle. The only real difference it before
I was trying to find it in a gin bottle.
I am not going to say anything here about any of you. I am not an expert on being sober.
I am an expert on being a drunk.
All I will say if you have one day sober or a thousand hold on to it with all your might.
Protect it as if it was a loved one or the most important thing in your life.
I wish I had. Now I hope somewhere I can find the courage just to be able to post on
Here that I have day one under my belt again. It looks very bleak and I am not sure I am
Up to it.

Thanks for taking the time to read this

Rednose. [Quote]


You are STILL doing the same thing! Where were you during the two days sober?? Where were you when you decided to drink??

Did you check in and ask for help? NO !

Join in and share your feelings and fears......going it alone is NOT working, is it?

Read, read, read, post, post and post some more. It works.

[Persephone1]

Where is the bottom?

Hey Red, Good to see you but so sorry you are still struggling.

I mentioned in a PM or two in the past...have you/would you consider meds? They've helped plenty of people defeat this fecker.

My bottom was caring for my mom as she battled cancer directly related to alcohol and cigs AND my own health issues. PLEASE don't wait until your health is irreversibly affected by this awful substance. It never really delivers...only takes, takes, takes. You are worth taking your life back ~ give it all you got Red!

Keep checkin' in & take good care, P.

[K9Lover]

Where is the bottom?

Hi Red :l

When I woke up at 3:00am one morning and thought "I hate my life" (like you do)...THAT was my bottom. The answer is not at the bottom of ANY bottle, it's within you. Do you want to be sober more than ANYTHING?

[gofig07]

Where is the bottom?

This is my first post to this forum. I always wondered where the bottom is. I think it is that point when you say I cannot go one this way and want to change ?

I hit Bottom last night at 1 AM when I was dizzy and nauseous and basically went to bed and passed out. Thanks Byrdlady for the post. I just moved from Stage 1 to Stage 2. :-(( But since I am here and I hit bottom, this is as far as I am going to go. When I read kabombs post I thought "this is me". I feel if I continue down this road I will die. So I surrender today !!

[Byrdlady]

Where is the bottom?

gofig! I'm so glad you are joining us! I am telling you, don't let the FEAR of quitting get in the way of your doing it! It's really NOT all that bad!! The first couple days are an ADJUSTMENT, but like with any change of our routine, once you get going, you are ok!! Please see the 2 links below in my signature line! Newbie's Nest and the Tool Box. Both of these places saved my life. Jump right in as you just have! We are happy that you have decided to take your life back! I'm living proof that it can be done! Byrdie

[Persephone1]

Where is the bottom?

Yooo Hooo ~ where you at Red?

Check in man, k?

:l P.