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    #1

    Looking for The Breakthrough.

    Hi all. I am wanting to get help for my out of hand drinking.

    I been trying for years, and nothings changed. I have ups and downs. Weeks of not drinking.. then out the blue, i'll binge. Sunday was a bad day for me. I got horribly wasted and put my kids lives in danger. I am in big trouble with my awesome wife who is still prepared to stick by me. Ive been disrespectful to my parents and i am really looking for the real breakthrough.
    I want to be a better father and husband, and alcohol has to be killed....

    Thanks for listening.

    Hope i can learn a lot here.
    ChillerMiller:new:
    The mindset of an addict is trenchant in its very nature
    Tags: None
    #2
    Looking for The Breakthrough.

    I've been drinking since I was 15. Been addicted not only to alcohol but also to crack cocaine, dope and Acid. I have not done heavy drugs in a while, but I still smoke an occasional joint once a week. The alcoholism runs in the family. I've tried a thousand times and I'm starting to believe that there is no hope of ever stopping it. I have done some heavy stuff in front of my children and wife and family. Its gotten me to the point where I know that if I do not get help I will ruin my boys lives, my wife's life and my own. I'm thinking of going back to AA. But I've always found them boring and filled with people who are sorry for themselves. I want an atmosphere where people are not mourning the loss of alcohol but celebrating their victory over addiction.
    The mindset of an addict is trenchant in its very nature

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      #3
      Looking for The Breakthrough.

      Chiller,

      :welcome:

      I will post more in a few minutes. I just woke up and need some coffee but I didn't want you to feel no one was here or caring.

      Give me five.

      Cindi
      AF April 9, 2016

      Comment

        #4
        Looking for The Breakthrough.

        ChillerMiller;1515231 wrote: I want an atmosphere where people are not mourning the loss of alcohol but celebrating their victory over addiction.
        Hi there! You will find a few of the first type here but most of us are of the second sort - SO happy to be done with alcohol! There are many ways to be free, so read as much as you can and make your plan for freedom. I'm glad you're here!
        Well it's all right now. I've learned my lesson well. You see you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself.

        Comment

          #5
          Looking for The Breakthrough.

          Cinders;1515232 wrote: Chiller,

          :welcome:

          I will post more in a few minutes. I just woke up and need some coffee but I didn't want you to feel no one was here or caring.

          Give me five.

          Cindi
          Thanks Cinders.
          The mindset of an addict is trenchant in its very nature

          Comment

            #6
            Looking for The Breakthrough.

            Siren136;1515237 wrote: Hi there! You will find a few of the first type here but most of us are of the second sort - SO happy to be done with alcohol! There are many ways to be free, so read as much as you can and make your plan for freedom. I'm glad you're here!
            That is great to know. Thanks for your welcome! I so badly wanna kick this now. So sick and tired of always falling! I now hate alcohol. Which seems a good place to start.

            The mindset of an addict is trenchant in its very nature though, and constant awareness is needed at all times.
            The mindset of an addict is trenchant in its very nature

            Comment

              #7
              Looking for The Breakthrough.

              Chill,

              Okay, back and a cup of joe in my hand.

              As you can see from my post, I have been here a long time and yet only have 60+ days sobriety.

              So, you are not alone in this struggle.

              The last time I woke up after a very ugly binge, I had not done anything nearly as awful as times in the past, but somehow, deep in my heart, I just felt sick and tired of myself. I decided that morning that I was done. Dusted of the crap.

              I decided that no matter how crappy I felt, no matter how bad my panic attacks, no matter what happened to me in the future, I would do it sober. My expectations for life were not good. I expected to be miserable. I decided I would be miserable sober.

              That morning, I emailed my psychiatrist and begged her for some Antabuse. (I am not suggesting this route for you, it is what I decided would be my best route.) After much discussion and concern on her part, I finally convinced her I needed Antabuse so there was no way I could pick up a bottle and drink. I started taking it two days later when I knew I was cleared of alcohol in my system.

              The "breakthrough" simply has to come from your heart.

              Oddly, the trials came very soon for me, about two days after I started Antabuse. My husband became gravely ill and no one knew what was wrong. I spent many days and nights in the hospital with him. My mom then had to be ambulanced to the hospital, and due to her dementia, I had to stay with her all day just to make sure she ate. Talk about "no matter what!!"

              I was grateful I was sober. In the case of my husband, there were a couple of times at home that if I had been passed out drunk, he might have had seizures, etc, and no one to take care of him. He was helpless. Thank God I was there.

              What has been amazing to me is that the hard times have not been so bad and suddenly, I am able to experience the good times, too. We rob ourselves of all things good and bad in our lives with alcohol. Our addiction cheats us of experiencing life.

              I have experienced some panic attacks, something I suffered from before I became a hardcore alcoholic, and guess what? I survived.

              Now, on to you. I do go to AA, myself, and am lucky to have a home group where people are pretty darned funny. There are those there with 20+ years sobriety and those with a few years and those with a few months, and those with days, like me. So not all AA meetings are like the ones you describe. Those exist, too, unfortunately.

              I am not telling you to go to AA, I am just saying that AA can be a great source of help if you need it.

              There are a few threads you might want to look at and join. The Newbie's Nest is a great thread for those just starting out. Lots of people just like you who post there and share their fears, hopes, and laughter.

              There is also a thread called the Tool Box with lots of advice on ways to overcome the cravings and desires to drink. I use it myself on days when I am feeling particularly antsy to drink. Luckily, those feelings subside very quickly these days, especially because Antabuse takes the option away. Hence my decision to use it.

              There is also a lot of information on medications that can help. Baclofen has helped many, Naltrexone has also helped and others that take Campral, etc. You might want to read about them.

              At the end of the day, though, the breakthrough needs to come from you and then you must do whatever it takes to get sober.

              I wish you success and a good life.

              Again, :welcome: to MWO and I hope to get to know you better in the days to come.

              Cindi
              AF April 9, 2016

              Comment

                #8
                Looking for The Breakthrough.

                ChillerMiller;1515231 wrote: The alcoholism runs in the family. I've tried a thousand times and I'm starting to believe that there is no hope of ever stopping it.
                Hiya Chiller.

                A warm welcome to you.

                Have a read of our toolbox. Here's the link https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

                There is heaps of useful info, inspiration and strategies you will find useful, especially in the early days of getting off the booze.

                Also, check out the 'newbies nest' thread too. Lot's of support there, or start your own support thread and post your thoughts on a daily basis.

                Anyway, lot's to read around here. You are not alone, and you will likely read much of your story in other people's posts and stories.

                Best wishes on your journey friend.

                G bloke.

                'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

                Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

                Comment

                  #9
                  Looking for The Breakthrough.

                  Hi Chiller - just wanted to welcome you again -- saw you first on the AF June thread.:welcome:

                  You've already gotten some great advice here, but I just wanted to say that I'm glad you're here! It sounds like you're determined and really want this! Read and post A LOT - it HELPS!

                  So hoping you can do this for you and your family!

                  Best to you,

                  UN

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Looking for The Breakthrough.

                    Thanks to you all for your reply's. i am going to start a new thread that i shall post in everyday. To confront my feelings and fears etc.
                    The mindset of an addict is trenchant in its very nature

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Looking for The Breakthrough.

                      Hi ChillerMiller! Welcome, hope you find this place as warm and welcoming as I do, 15 days sober for me which was an IMPOSSIBLE thought! Particularly living on my own! I had to drink all the time, except work but weekends, woohoo, I would drink from Friday night through to Sunday night, only going out to buy more booze....... My last 2 weekends have been great!! I'm seeing, hearing, smelling and generally appreciating life more.
                      I love this place, it's the first place I've got to be honest with myself and it's eloping me, I hope it can Elg you too xo good luck!!

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