Hey everyone
Today was such a weird day, I just wanted to write it out so please forgive me if I ramble.
Today was No. 7 for me. I have to say, I have noticed for the past couple of days, I have been exhausted....especially in the afternoon and after work. Anyway, I was in a very strange place today. For the first time this week I had this feeling of "now what". I felt like I was missing something...sort of an empty feeling. I wonder what happened to the past 6 days when I was so excited about all of this?
I met my daughter after work and we had massages (she works at a salon). Then we went and had dinner. I ordered hot tea....drinking hadn't even crossed my mind. My daughter, who just turned 21 a couple of months ago decided she was going to order a glass of wine (she doesn't know everything I am going through....I basically had told her it was a 30 day detox). Anyway.....they brought her glass of wine and that old feeling started to come over me. I didn't know what to do...I almost logged on my phone and posted on MWO (the print was too small). So I sat there and I literally took one minute at a time. I told myself to drink the tea and water and wait for the food. Once the food started to arrive, I started to feel better but it was a close call. It was so strange to sit there at dinner, across from someone who was drinking a glass of wine. For some reason that I don't understand, I think it would have been much worse for me if it was my husband sitting there (not sure what that's about).
I told my daughter after dinner that I was using alcohol to self-medicate to deal with stress and that I am trying to change the way I do things. She seemed to be open to the discussion and asked me if her having the wine sitting there was bothering me. I told her it wasn't then but that it did initially.
This is the FIRST time in years that I have ever exercised any self-control. I normally would just say "what the hell" and have one anyway only for the pattern to repeat itself. I finally understand the term "urge" surfing" and I have to say that while it was uncomfortable, it did pass.
Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. I'm sure you all understand all of the different emotions and ups and downs of this....it's all new to me and I feel out of my element.
Have a great evening....on to Day 8!
Today was such a weird day, I just wanted to write it out so please forgive me if I ramble.
Today was No. 7 for me. I have to say, I have noticed for the past couple of days, I have been exhausted....especially in the afternoon and after work. Anyway, I was in a very strange place today. For the first time this week I had this feeling of "now what". I felt like I was missing something...sort of an empty feeling. I wonder what happened to the past 6 days when I was so excited about all of this?
I met my daughter after work and we had massages (she works at a salon). Then we went and had dinner. I ordered hot tea....drinking hadn't even crossed my mind. My daughter, who just turned 21 a couple of months ago decided she was going to order a glass of wine (she doesn't know everything I am going through....I basically had told her it was a 30 day detox). Anyway.....they brought her glass of wine and that old feeling started to come over me. I didn't know what to do...I almost logged on my phone and posted on MWO (the print was too small). So I sat there and I literally took one minute at a time. I told myself to drink the tea and water and wait for the food. Once the food started to arrive, I started to feel better but it was a close call. It was so strange to sit there at dinner, across from someone who was drinking a glass of wine. For some reason that I don't understand, I think it would have been much worse for me if it was my husband sitting there (not sure what that's about).
I told my daughter after dinner that I was using alcohol to self-medicate to deal with stress and that I am trying to change the way I do things. She seemed to be open to the discussion and asked me if her having the wine sitting there was bothering me. I told her it wasn't then but that it did initially.
This is the FIRST time in years that I have ever exercised any self-control. I normally would just say "what the hell" and have one anyway only for the pattern to repeat itself. I finally understand the term "urge" surfing" and I have to say that while it was uncomfortable, it did pass.
Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. I'm sure you all understand all of the different emotions and ups and downs of this....it's all new to me and I feel out of my element.
Have a great evening....on to Day 8!
that could be the end of a beautiful relationship HEHE
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