Greetings

[ApocalypseM]

Hello all! I've recently been lurking around these forums and decided I might as well sign up. I have been what I call a heavy drinker (3-4 drinks a night) for years, but a few months ago RAPIDLY progressed to full-blown alcoholism, and this forum has helped call me down from many 2AM panic attacks recently. The past few months have probably been about a bottle of vodka a day, give or take. Spacing throughout the day to avoid withdrawal, then getting wasted at night. I have a very good job, and no one knows the extent of my problem yet. I cannot afford to expose myself and go into inpatient therapy so I am attempting to home detox by tapering, which is proving to be insanely difficult.

So I'd just like to thank you all for your stories, even without being a member here they were comforting, and wish you all (and myself) luck!

[hadit]

Greetings

Hello Apoc, Just wanted to say Hi. Making the decision to post is certainly a move in the right direction. Can I suggest you have a look at the Newbies Nest. Its full of people who are at various stages of their quit and who have lots to offer. You are not alone; we have all experienced what you are going through at some time. When I quit I was guzzling down a cuople of bottles of wine and 1/3 of Gin or more and at weekends lots more. I have found MWO has helped me so much. So tell us some more in the newbies nest. Good Luck on your journey.:welcome::welcome: Have you thought about discussing the matter with your Doctor? Mine was so supportive and has also prescribed antibuse drugs to help me.

[NoSugar]

Greetings

Welcome!

It sounds like you are at the scary point where you are really ready to change your life. Even though it doesn't feel like it right now, it is a good place to be and you've found a great place to get help. I also did not feel able to admit my situation in my real life and get the help I clearly need. I am so grateful to have found it here.

In case you haven't found them yet, links to the Nest that Hadit referred to as well as the Toolbox are given below.

It is great that you decided to join and post. You have to be an active participant to get this done. Reading is a big part of it but I think posting what you are going through and helping others is critical.

Hope to see you over in the Nest!

[Live_Love_Learn]

Greetings

Hi AM,
Welcome!! It's great to hear your story, I'm similar, I've known linger though but thought I couldn't stop so please stay around, we can help!! Just before I went AF I was doing at least a bottle of wine as well as mixture of other drinks but finishing the day with at least half a bottle of scotch...... I was so over it, there was nothing fun Bout it, in fact, I was bored out of my brain!!
This was my third AF weekend and boy have I done a lot!! Shopping, painting, gardening, all the while treasuring my time with family!!
So I hope you hang around and see what you achieve! I can't wait to read more!

[ApocalypseM]

Greetings

So far tapering is going to be tough. I've been caught completely off-guard by the rapid progression I've had and am frankly very surprised. Only drinking (this) heavy for a couple of months and I appear to have full-on DTs upon cessation, hence why I took the tapering approach. I'm still doing relatively well in all aspects of life but can see easily that I have a severe problem so might as well address it now. Going to be difficult if withdrawals continue on this level, however. Regardless, thank you all for your kind words.

[Siren136]

Greetings

ApocalypseM;1517681 wrote: So far tapering is going to be tough. I've been caught completely off-guard by the rapid progression I've had and am frankly very surprised. Only drinking (this) heavy for a couple of months and I appear to have full-on DTs upon cessation, hence why I took the tapering approach. I'm still doing relatively well in all aspects of life but can see easily that I have a severe problem so might as well address it now. Going to be difficult if withdrawals continue on this level, however. Regardless, thank you all for your kind words.

Hi Apocolypse!

When I tapered I didn't stick to a set schedule like some folks do. I would wait until the w/d symptoms were bad and then use alcohol like medicine to get over them. I just treated the symptoms. Maybe something to consider, but be careful.

[Miley]

Greetings

I just wanted to say hi AM. This is an awesome website and the people and support on here is truly amazing and helpful.

I am only on day 10 so I don't feel qualified to give advice. I too have a good job and no one knows the extend of my problem where I work, so any kind of in-patient program was out of the question for me. I started getting counseling and was completely honest there and at home about my drinking (this is a first, believe me). It took me YEARS to accept my truth. When I finally did (just within the last month), it was so liberating.

I haven't had 10 days in about 3 years. I can honestly say that logging on here at least twice a day and posting has helped me more than I ever imagined.

Wishing you the best....stay close, we are here for you.

[ApocalypseM]

Greetings

I'm sure you're all the same way, but if I knew detox would be this insane I wouldn't have ever picked up a drink. I am NOT of the belief that my problem is a disease, I believe most of us self-medicate underlying problems. For me it was panic attacks and in turn, a sleeping issue. I do, however, agree with the notion that alcohol dependence and withdrawal is VERY serious indeed, and shouldn't be taken lightly. I bought a bunch of shooters today so I could sneak them past my gf in the house (done many times previously). I know I'm going to wake up 3-4 hours into sleep hallucinating and take one to calm me down. I feel like "Leaving Las Vegas" is pretty much my life at the moment, and at 23 feel close to death. Insane. I have so much respect for all who have made it through this.

[Samstone]

Greetings

Dear AM
WELCOME!

I've read several books on quitting this damn cursed thing that we all share or have shared. One book that really has helped me to pinpoint some things was Allen Carr's book "easy way to stop drinking" There is one quote that comes to mind in reading your posts:
"Be aware that you control your cravings, not the other way around"

Hang in there and visit here as often as you can. You will get through this.

SS

[Kradle123]

Greetings

Throwing down the :welcome: Mat , AP. like Miley said, this is truly a special place. I don't think there is any other group so dedicated to one another...warts and all. :l

Stay close. Read read read and try to post when you can .
:l

PS drink a ton of water..with lemons. Whole lemons sliced and juiced

[ApocalypseM]

Greetings

Quick update on my lunch break from work: pure torture. I don't think I did this tapering properly. 20 drinks a day right up until two days ago, and from 2PM straight up until I went to bed last night (roughly 12AM) I only had two drinks. Somehow, I fell asleep, woke up a few hours later in full panic attack mode and drank one of my shooters. Luckily, that was enough to send me back to sleep. I haven't had the courage to see a doc yet and am terrified of the possibility of seizures so I may taper slower than I originally planned :sigh:

[Samstone]

Greetings

AM
the most important thing is that you are trying, keep your goal in sight.

[ApocalypseM]

Greetings

My aggressive tapering strategy is pure torture but I am very proud to say I will be having drink #11 and going to bed, with my stand-by of anti-panic shooters in the nightstand. Drink #11 sounds terrible but I've already essentially halved my intake in one day, so I am satisfied. Also, it was front and back-loaded so from 9AM-9PM I only had 3. Three drinks in twelve hours is encouraging for someone who was at my point. I'd like to thank you all again for allowing me to be open, for once.