Question To Those With 30+ Days

[halo]

Question To Those With 30+ Days

I just wrote a long reply and it erased, drat the luck! But I will say this, after 3 months some days are like the first day of trying to be AF, very difficult, frustrating and tough to get through and other days you say, hey I really and truly got this, I can do this, no problem.

I have had difficult days to get through during the whole 3 months but if you truly know that an AF life is for you, you will battle through the tough days and get through them AF. And you will embrace the days where it is easier. Just remember Miley, for you to have searched out the MWO, that means that you are searching for a better life choice, and the one thing I have learned from this process is an AF life is indeed a better life.

[Miley]

Question To Those With 30+ Days

Thanks SS and Halo.....I'm already starting to feel better. Tomorrow is day 14 and I think that may be the longest stretch I've had in many years. I know that alcohol is poison but for some reason this morning it really hit me....what I've been putting my body through after all these years. I had some cravings tonight but worked through them.

[Irie]

Question To Those With 30+ Days

This thread has been so helpful for me. Thank you for asking the question. I hope this will help push me past the complacency that always hits once I get a little AF time under my belt.

[bcp2013]

Question To Those With 30+ Days

Hi Miley l'm 74 days today,l have great days and a few hard moments,but they don't last all day just short spurts.l love the feeling of not just existing ,trying to get through the day,and my subconcious telling me ,why!! Do you do this to yourself,and saying in my head God why am l doing this,you get the picture. Now l have no guilt,l have nothing to be guilty about,l want to be feeling great always But that takes time,and when in life is it always perfect anyway,so l just keep writing in my journal,talking and come on this site,keeps me in the now knowing in time it will be as if l never drank and life will move on as l wish. I really don't want not drinking to rule my every thought,so l am gonna keep on keeping on,all the best ,You can do this you are worth it.happy holiday,just think of how you can enjoy all the moments of your holiday,love to hear how it went.Have a great time!!!

[Miley]

Question To Those With 30+ Days

Thanks BCP! I am looking forward to a vacation with great memories and no hangovers.

[PhoenixRising]

Question To Those With 30+ Days

One day sober, first time in 2 years

Man, I hope I can keep it up. I am going to try like heck. I read Allen Carr's Easy Way to Control Alcohol and I think it actually gave me a fresh perspective that might be helpful. Anyway, yesterday was easier than expected. I am waiting for the other shoe to drop.

[bcp2013]

Question To Those With 30+ Days

Good on uo phoenix rising,you can do this,have a great sober holiday Miley!!

[Struggles 106]

Question To Those With 30+ Days

THIRTY DAYS

I think that a month is enough time to start getting some clarity, in terms of being able to see how bad things actually were. I think that it is a time period that lends itself to the realization also of how much drinking was happening, and how nice it is to feel better.
At almost 6 months I am finally able to see that the drinking thoughts are less frequent and easier to dismiss right away. Aside from addiction I think part of it is habit, and it's just the thing to do in certain situations. Unfortunately a LOT of situations.

I did want to share something that happened this past week. I had a bit of a surprise when I realized that I was in a social situation, laughing and not self-conscious at all, not drinking. With people who were drinking. It seems rather amazing to see that I was in the moment without being concerned about looking stupid. A real eye-opener for me.

It just gets better

[Guitarista]

Question To Those With 30+ Days

Ann Carolina;1519254 wrote: I think that a month is enough time to start getting some clarity, in terms of being able to see how bad things actually were. I think that it is a time period that lends itself to the realization also of how much drinking was happening, and how nice it is to feel better.
At almost 6 months I am finally able to see that the drinking thoughts are less frequent and easier to dismiss right away. Aside from addiction I think part of it is habit, and it's just the thing to do in certain situations. Unfortunately a LOT of situations.

I did want to share something that happened this past week. I had a bit of a surprise when I realized that I was in a social situation, laughing and not self-conscious at all, not drinking. With people who were drinking. It seems rather amazing to see that I was in the moment without being concerned about looking stupid. A real eye-opener for me.

It just gets better

Amen! As they say in the classics.

[Happy2BeAF]

Question To Those With 30+ Days

Byrdlady;1518608 wrote: I put this in the Tool Box a while back, maybe it's appropriate here....

After the 30 days.....Now what?

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So you've done the 30 days AF!! But then a feeling of 'now what do I do?' sets in...it's a real LULL in your emotions and is difficult to explain. What I do know is that this is a natural stage in our progress. Everyone experiences it....I describe it below as progressing thru the stages of grief.


As I mentioned to a response to Allan yesterday in his thread....he'd reached his 30 day goal and then felt like a bride coming back from her honeymoon...NOW WHAT? I was explaining to him that breaking free of alcohol is, in effect, ending a relationship. And I mean a long-standing, hard-core, abusive, solid relationship. In essence you are going thru the 5 stages of grieving. Anger (what brought you here..."I'm SICK of this crazy life!"), Denial (Maybe I'm not all that bad! What was I thinking? Other people drink as much or MORE than I do' I think this is where the biggest Pity Party is thrown...it comes after the first 2 weeks and before day 30), BARGAINING ( why don't I try to moderate? Other people are able to do it...if I could just have one precious glass of _____ I'd be ok, THEN I'll get right back on track..), Depression (Is THIS all there is? Where are the balloons? Is this as good as it's ever going to get? ' Well shit...'.) and finally, acceptance. Let me tell you, this is where it's at. You finally are able to accept that, NO, you CANNOT drink ....AT ALL. Not one, not ever.....and you are ok with this. This is the stage where you can see AL for what it really is....a DRUG. Some people abuse drugs and some people don't. We do. Each stage in grieving is very important. Once you can see what is going on and that you aren't going crazy, it helps...at least it did for me. What you are going thru is the natural stages of loss. If you stay the course, I promise it will get better....I can also make a promise the other way, too....if we stay on the path we were on....well, you get the picture. I can assure you there will be a day where you don't even think about AL! As hard as it is now....it seems hard to believe. As hardcore as I was, I can now come to the end of an evening and think...I'll be dam, I didn't even think about it. THAT is amazing! You will get there...it just takes some time. Please hang in with us...you can do it! If I can do it, you can too!!! Byrdie

Thank you for the post on the 5 stages. I was able to relate with them all and am proud to say that after 5 wks AF I am in stage 5. I am fully prepared for setbacks in the stages as situations present themselves but hopefully knowing those setback in feelings will occur makes me one step ahead of battling them.

My biggest fear right now is that this will be the death of my relationship with my fiance'. He is also an alcoholic and is still in the bargaining stage. I have told him AL is a deal breaker for me and our relationship and also explained that he's only making my decision that much harder to which he has apologized and feels bad. 5 wks ago was a situation with us and AL that I hate to even look back on but it's what brought me here. Only time will tell if we will get through this together but my desire to be AF is stronger than my desire to be with him.

I am almost 50 yrs old, have an 8 yr old son from my previous marriage of almost 30 yrs and am determined to make him proud of me. I have built a business from nothing with no help, am highly respected in my small community, have acquired many things through hard work and dedication but still am unable to stop at one drink. To come home and have a glass of wine always turns into 1-2 bottles. I could go all week without drinking and when the weekend rolls around I have blackouts from Fri and Sat nights. They always start off with us having SO much fun but then the next morning I don't recall half the evening but never a hangover. It's a wonder we haven't killed ourselves or someone else let alone the fact that on weekends I had my son I was basically an unfit parent.

Wish me luck as I continue on this journey. This forum is a lifesaver for me.