I've been thinking about something I read here about how we start to feel good, healthy, happy and that's when we begin to think we can drink moderately. I also read that each time we go back to drinking we will likely drink worse than the last. I think I have to treat this the way I treated quitting smoking. I knew if I had one cigarette I would be a smoker again. I don't want to be a drinker. I miss the taste, I miss the initial buzz, but I don't miss the shitty parts, the crappy sleeps, the spins, the stomach aches, the wasted days, the wasted nights (I think there's a song about that!). I guess we tend to forget about the bad and romanticize the glamorous fantasy drinker. I'm not her. I'm not going there. I don't drink.
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11 Days Sober - First Timer
I've been thinking about something I read here about how we start to feel good, healthy, happy and that's when we begin to think we can drink moderately. I also read that each time we go back to drinking we will likely drink worse than the last. I think I have to treat this the way I treated quitting smoking. I knew if I had one cigarette I would be a smoker again. I don't want to be a drinker. I miss the taste, I miss the initial buzz, but I don't miss the shitty parts, the crappy sleeps, the spins, the stomach aches, the wasted days, the wasted nights (I think there's a song about that!). I guess we tend to forget about the bad and romanticize the glamorous fantasy drinker. I'm not her. I'm not going there. I don't drink.Newbies Nest
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11 Days Sober - First Timer
Thanks to you all here I have learned so much and realized so much about myself. You have helped me to know that life without AL is actually not scary it's liberating. I will learn new coping methods, new social skills, new AF drinks! On my journey I will help others! Here I am on day 20 and the time has flown by. I only wish I'd come to my senses sooner!Newbies Nest
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11 Days Sober - First Timer
3June2013;1522151 wrote: I've been thinking about something I read here about how we start to feel good, healthy, happy and that's when we begin to think we can drink moderately. I also read that each time we go back to drinking we will likely drink worse than the last. I think I have to treat this the way I treated quitting smoking. I knew if I had one cigarette I would be a smoker again. I don't want to be a drinker. I miss the taste, I miss the initial buzz, but I don't miss the shitty parts, the crappy sleeps, the spins, the stomach aches, the wasted days, the wasted nights (I think there's a song about that!). I guess we tend to forget about the bad and romanticize the glamorous fantasy drinker. I'm not her. I'm not going there. I don't drink.
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11 Days Sober - First Timer
Three weeks AF and got through my first summer weekend social unscathed. I made three batches of punch everyone loved it. A guy was spiking his and offered me some. I answered " no thanks I'm going for the sugar high today!"
I couldn't have done this without you my friends!Newbies Nest
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11 Days Sober - First Timer
I had a startle last night when I was moving something in the kitchen cupboard I found a little bottle of vodka. You know, the ones they hang on the big bottle at the LCBO? It shocked me. For one second I thought about pouring it into my drink. Then I saw myself looking for more and I didn't even touch it. I told my son this morning he could have it. I see how it could have derailed me but I am stronger than I thought!
Then today I was at the grocery store, as I was checking out I looked over at the wine store (it's inside the same store) and remembered longingly how I used to go grab a couple of bottles of wine pretty much every time I was at the grocery. Again, it was a fleeting moment and then it was gone.
I know I will be tempted time and time again. But I love the feeling of waking up sober way more than I love the buzz of being drunk. It's pretty much that simple.Newbies Nest
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11 Days Sober - First Timer
Great job 3J. If I remember correctly, you were thinking about keeping the AL in the house and then you got rid of it, yes? Did you find this helped you during the early stages, to have no AL in the house?Free at Last
"What you seek is seeking you." -- Rumi
Highly recommend this video
http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html
July 19, 2013 -- the beginning of being Free at Last
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free at last - yes I gave away all the AL in the house. I am not sure, I think not seeing it helped but honestly I have been pretty strong at home, it's when I am out with drinkers I find it the toughest. Out of sight out of mind isn't really true, but out of sight helps!!Newbies Nest
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11 Days Sober - First Timer
I've noticed this morning and maybe yesterday that I'm waking up feeling sort of shitty. Is the honeymoon over? I sleep better, so what's the problem? I think it's over eating at night that's doing it. I eat pretty well all day but I am on 1-9 shift so when I get home I'm the only one up. I usually come here and start posting but also I start eating. I need to take more filling meals to work so that I'm not starving when I get home. I'm also thinking it might be time to recommit to Weight Watchers, now that I have 24 days under my belt. Too soon? What do you think?Newbies Nest
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3June2013;1524667 wrote: I've noticed this morning and maybe yesterday that I'm waking up feeling sort of shitty. Is the honeymoon over? I sleep better, so what's the problem? I think it's over eating at night that's doing it. I eat pretty well all day but I am on 1-9 shift so when I get home I'm the only one up. I usually come here and start posting but also I start eating. I need to take more filling meals to work so that I'm not starving when I get home. I'm also thinking it might be time to recommit to Weight Watchers, now that I have 24 days under my belt. Too soon? What do you think?
I sent you a few links about the relationship between the desire for AL and food, especially sugar and as DoggyGirl calls them, sugary-carbs, in your other thread. I think the MWO literature also has information about the benefits of reducing those types of foods.
My guess is that if you eliminated added sugar (read labels and weep!) and those starchy carbs, and ate well-prepared, unprocessed, whole foods, you would start feeling really good .
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Thanks NS! It's day 26 now and the time seems to have flown by. I almost forget how shitty I felt in the beginning. But I won't forget. It's important to remember. The reason I feel good is I quit. Forever. And that's ok, I'm good with forever. Sure there are times when I think I miss it but I enjoy this more.Newbies Nest
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Tomorrow makes it 30 days AF. Four weekends, two of which were family gatherings where I would normally have been heavily into AL. I stressed a little before the first one, but was given the tools, and got through it. Planned ahead with AF punch, gathered my strength from the AF family members there as well as a PM from a very helpful supportive MWO member. This past weekend was more of a challenge and yet less of a challenge. More because this was the drinking crowd. Less because I was another week stronger. I just can't see myself drinking any more. I still get the urges, the cravings, but it is so much easier to ignore them now. Thank you thank you. I could not have done it without you!Newbies Nest
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I'm into my second month now. Giving my AL history some thought. I know I learned to use AL to numb myself from reality. I started very young looking for ways to escape. I was raped at 13. My parents split up that year and neither parent actually ever told us what was going on. My dad just wasn't around all of a sudden. Can you say abandonment? As a teenager I went looking for love in all the wrong places. I thought if someone wanted to have sex with me it meant they loved me. I thought it would make me feel loved but it usually made me feel shitty. Thus the escape. Booze, drugs, food. I never learned good coping mechanisms. I guess I gave up pot pretty much in around 1987 but I can't think of the last time I went a month without AL. Now I really don't want it. I am strangely fine without it and can't believe it took me this long to see that I can function without it. I'm 54. I guess it just took time to learn other ways to cope. Seems a shame that I finally start to get my shit together and I am old LOL.Newbies Nest
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