11 Days Sober - First Timer

[3June2013]

11 Days Sober - First Timer

Getting close to 90 days

For some reason that 90 days seems like a huge accomplishment to me. I think it's the detox thing, I have heard those who stay 90 days are most likely to succeed in staying AF.

But truly the real accomplishment was deciding that first day in June to come here and start reading and talking. That's when I saw the light. I saw happy productive people living their lives without AL. I saw that the first few steps are the biggest hurdle and after that I realized that moderation was another form of denial (for me). I learned so much reading of others' successes and struggles. I decided it was going to have to be all or nothing for me. I was soon learning that life without AL means a life of feeling good. Who knew? Feeling good when I wake up, feeling good when I fall asleep. Feeling good about myself.

Sure I could have done it sooner but we all know that these sorts of life altering decisions don't happen until we're ready to fully embrace them.

If anyone is out there lurking please don't be afraid. I know you can't imagine your life without AL right now. I know, I've been there. But if you just put your toes in the water. Just try it for a day. Then another day. I promise you it will be worth every uncomfortable moment. I promise you that your life will be better. I promise.

Jump on in, the water is lovely!

[3June2013]

11 Days Sober - First Timer

I was thinking today about how many times I looked up the quizzes, you know, the ones that tell you if you're an alcoholic or not? I usually answered yes to 2-3 of the questions...do you drink alone...do you drink more than you want to sometimes...do you drink more than 14 drinks a week..

I was thinking the last question should be "Have you searched and answered any of these quizzes in the past six months?" LoL

All kidding aside, if you think you have a problem you have a problem, simple as that. You don't have to be rock bottom before you wake up and shake yourself out of denial and into a whole new life.

Don't be afraid. It is worth every uncomfortable moment.

[free at last]

11 Days Sober - First Timer

Am with you girl. Enjoying finding myself again.

[3June2013]

11 Days Sober - First Timer

Lightbulb moment! Last night as I fell asleep I was thinking of my mum, it's her 85th birthday. I thought when I am very old or if I knew I was sick and dying I will/would drink my face off because why not? And as quickly as that thought appeared the next one came into my head. Why on earth if I had a short time left would I not want to savour every moment of it? Why on earth would I want to blurr or numb it?

[MossRose]

11 Days Sober - First Timer

3J - love your take on how ex-drinkers over-analyze what others will think if they choose not to drink. As if by ordering a non-AL drink, we are somehow admitting our shameful secret to the world. I know many people who don't drink, and no one thinks anything about it. But you have been more courageous than me from the very start. I'm still hiding in the shadows, and am pretty sure that it has made quitting harder. I am going to try and follow your lead, and start living more authentically. No gory details, just the simple truth. I think saying it out loud - I don't drink (well, I'm still working on that) - and being vulnerable is the only way out of this nightmare.

I guess you can tell that I just watched the TED talk about shame and vulnerability (thanks Free). Profound. It made me uncomfortable at times, so I really must have needed to hear her message.

[Enough!]

11 Days Sober - First Timer

June... I don't often find myself on other people's threads, but I have to commend you for your positive approach and huge success thus far! Not Sure if I would be able to pass up the 2003 Dom.. amazing job!
You are a great role model!
Enough!

[witts end]

11 Days Sober - First Timer

3June2013;1547310 wrote: For some reason that 90 days seems like a huge accomplishment to me. I think it's the detox thing, I have heard those who stay 90 days are most likely to succeed in staying AF.

But truly the real accomplishment was deciding that first day in June to come here and start reading and talking. That's when I saw the light. I saw happy productive people living their lives without AL. I saw that the first few steps are the biggest hurdle and after that I realized that moderation was another form of denial (for me). I learned so much reading of others' successes and struggles. I decided it was going to have to be all or nothing for me. I was soon learning that life without AL means a life of feeling good. Who knew? Feeling good when I wake up, feeling good when I fall asleep. Feeling good about myself.

Sure I could have done it sooner but we all know that these sorts of life altering decisions don't happen until we're ready to fully embrace them.

If anyone is out there lurking please don't be afraid. I know you can't imagine your life without AL right now. I know, I've been there. But if you just put your toes in the water. Just try it for a day. Then another day. I promise you it will be worth every uncomfortable moment. I promise you that your life will be better. I promise.

Jump on in, the water is lovely!

I totally agree 3j who would have thought we would get to 90 days its been a great journey with you ... keep up the good work we are heading for the 100 next

[3June2013]

11 Days Sober - First Timer

Functional alcoholic. Yep that's me. I never missed work, never missed a mortgage payment, never got into fights or slept by the curb. But I clearly remember telling a waitress one night to cut me off at 10 rum and cokes. I know I drank more than a bottle of wine in one sitting on many many occasions. I can't remember the last time I had one drink. I slept fitfully, woke groggy, looked like hell and somehow fooled everyone. Even my husband was surprised when I told him I needed to quit.

I get those romantic thoughts sometimes even now after nearly three months. You know the ones where you look like a movie star hanging out with your movie star friends having a sophisticated glass of whatever. I shove them away pretty fast but man they're seductive.

Now I feel the need to start planning for the inevitable crises coming my way. My mum is 85 so her death will be a huge blow. How will I handle it? Do I get anxious thinking about it? Yes. So should I not worry until it happens? I guess, but I want to be prepared. Find a better way to cope.

Exercise has helped me a lot. I want to try meditating but I can't slow myself down. I will keep trying. Yin yoga helps.

I'm working on my relationship with hubby too. So many differences in our wants and desires. How will we cross the bridges?

I'm rambling. It's nap time, working night shift. Thanks for the rant.

[witts end]

11 Days Sober - First Timer

j3 your doing great

I just lost my mum all of a sudden 84 but you will handle it just one day at a time ...it does take time ...don't rush it .....you cant really prepare your self so don't worry until it does happen
I have a mother in law who is 93......your mum may have another 10yrs you never know .....enjoy the time you have

do you have other sibblings

[3June2013]

11 Days Sober - First Timer

Witts end you're right I should enjoy what time we have and not dwell. I have lots of siblings, eight in fact.

Hey you want to check your math. I think you're at 90 days tomorrow!

[3June2013]

11 Days Sober - First Timer

Today was day one of vacation and the little voices are irritating. I made a nice supper and then needed to distract so we went to the hardware box store and picked up a thingy that you roll your hose onto and some stuff we needed for the new gate, it wasn't exciting but it was distracting.

Tomorrow I have a yoga class booked for 9 am then at 1 pm we are signed up to join a bunch of people in a 20 person canoe, we will paddle out to the middle of the lake and watch the air show over head. I am trying to change it up and plan social events that don't include AL.

It's nearly three months and I thought this sort of nagging would be over but apparently not. I even had a brief thought of trying a beer. Sleazy AL whispering that I didn't ever really drink beer so one now and again wouldn't hurt. You know the routine. I just wish the voices would go away. I'm strong enough to fight or ignore or distract but I really thought they'd be over by now.

[NoSugar]

11 Days Sober - First Timer

Hi, June

I drank to numb myself so now when for some reason being unaware sounds good, the thoughts come to mind. Since life is never going to be perfect, I imagine the desire to get away from it is going to come up once in awhile. So - I guess I will just have to acknowledge the thoughts and move on. I wonder if most people here don't have the occasional errant thought to deal with - no matter how long they have been sober.

How long is your vacation? Hope you have fun.

[3June2013]

11 Days Sober - First Timer

NS 4 weeks and we have a couple of camping trips planned as well. Some down time at home. My life is stress less really. I think it's boredom that sets me off sometimes. I just try to keep busy. I am learning Spanish, that is fun, and I love to be outside biking or walking. I am feeling pretty great 98% of the time. I just wish I never had to battle those cravings again. It's tiring. Still, it's easier than drinking, don't get me wrong!

[NoSugar]

11 Days Sober - First Timer

Boredom is one of the things I try to avoid in positive ways now , also. It is more challenging to be creative or active or learn something but it certainly ends up being more fun and rewarding, no matter what I do instead .

4 week vacation??? I have never had that experience in my entire working life! You are very fortunate! ENJOY!

[3June2013]

11 Days Sober - First Timer

I am lucky! I actually get 6 weeks a year I've been at the same place for 28 years this January. Thanks for hanging out last night it really helped when I was feeling especially vulnerabke