Sweating it out .... I'm quitting this insanity

[RitaNow]

Sweating it out .... I'm quitting this insanity

Sunday afternoon -

I felt the "crabby" mood creep back in .... Found myself rattling off all of the annoying things my hubs is doing to make me crazy. I told him I felt like I lived with a 17 year old boy - and I was tired of picking up after him! IKES. So I got on MWO - and poof ... my mood improved! So if that's what it takes to cure my bad moods ... then that's what I'll have to do!

I have a busy social and travel schedule coming up in July that I'm gearing up for. Any suggestions you peeps might have will be great. Thank goodness most of them are with people who are not big drinkers. But just being this busy stresses me - and my anxieties are a huge part of my drinking problem.

Other than that - I have some reading here to catch up on!

[RitaNow]

Sweating it out .... I'm quitting this insanity

Tuesday night - and I'm propped up in my usual nightly computer position! Hehe. Today was a busy day yet productive day. Love that about being AF. I feel focused and useful in what I accomplish. In the past - I've been just glad to make it through the day. And if I accomplished anything - I felt relieved. What a rotton way to live! The AF life really has a lot of UP side! Why are we so afraid of it?

1. We're just not comfortable in our new skin yet! That will come! Time is the great teacher
2. We think we're missing out on some great "feeling". Well - how'd that "feeling" work out for ya?
3. We don't trust our selves. That's a tough one for me. I don't trust myself and I will be glad to discover the answer to that one.

Enough for tonight - I need sleep.

[3June2013]

Sweating it out .... I'm quitting this insanity

RitaNow;1526397 wrote: Sunday afternoon -

I felt the "crabby" mood creep back in .... Found myself rattling off all of the annoying things my hubs is doing to make me crazy. I told him I felt like I lived with a 17 year old boy - and I was tired of picking up after him! IKES. So I got on MWO - and poof ... my mood improved! So if that's what it takes to cure my bad moods ... then that's what I'll have to do!

I have a busy social and travel schedule coming up in July that I'm gearing up for. Any suggestions you peeps might have will be great. Thank goodness most of them are with people who are not big drinkers. But just being this busy stresses me - and my anxieties are a huge part of my drinking problem.

Other than that - I have some reading here to catch up on!

I was very moody during the first few weeks too. I think it's wearing off now. I fought more with hubby too, but luckily he is pretty resilient. Does your hubby drink?

My technique for social events is to plan ahead. I looked up some recipes and provided a huge pitcher of AF punch. I bought this cool dispenser that has a spout and a built in ice thingy in the middle. Got it at Target for $15, great buy. I also told people right away that I wasn't drinking and that it's new for me. I sought out the non drinkers for support. They were thrilled that an AF option was being served! Once someone offered to spike my punch and I said no thanks I am going for the sugar high today. I hadn't planned that response, it just slid out, but it worked! At the last social event I kept busy doing dishes and collecting beer cans and bottles, cleaning up etc. I also encouraged everyone to be active, we ended up playing frisbee, hockey, board games etc. instead of just sitting around drinking. I have been to a pub one night (at around 3 weeks AF) and it was tough but I drank cranberry and soda, there was live music and I really had fun once I got over the cravings and the feelings. I wouldn't go to a bar now unless it was for the music. I haven't been out to a restaurant for supper since I quit, that will be a challenge, but it's been long enough now I really don't give AL a lot of thought any more. Opps I ended up talking about me, and this is about you. Byrdie travels for business I bet she can help with travelling tips. Have you found a AF drink you like? Perhaps you can bring ingredients with you?

Anxiety triggers you to want to drink? I wonder if yoga or mediation might help? Have you thought about giving either a try? I am not good at meditation so let me know how it goes if you try. I understand it is great for stress reduction. I am too impatient, which likely means I need it even more!

Well I am going on longer than I meant to. But congratulations on your progress you are doing great. I like your thread and I'll check back in with you soon!

[RitaNow]

Sweating it out .... I'm quitting this insanity

Humbly reporting in

It's July 31 - and 4 weeks ago I fell off the wagon. And haven't even really tried to get back on since. I am not going to make excuses, I am not going to spew out my disgust at myself, nor am I going to rehash what I already know. That I can NOT drink. Period. I humbly submit to my Lord and God first - than to you my support community second that today is a new day - and I will not drink. I realize that I am powerless over it - but that One greater than me will pull me through. Thank you Lord.

Now - just to get the first 10 days under my belt - where I will physically and mentally be in a much better place. Today I fight the "dread" feeling - but know each day will build strength. I just can't keep going through the restart. This has to be the last "day one"

[lead366]

Sweating it out .... I'm quitting this insanity

Your not alone lol

Hi Rita:

i just joined and read your post and just got your news. dont worry and dont fret...relapse is normal...I was in a superb rehab center for 28 days and just simply bolted after 19....on June 19th. very weird and strange indeed.

I think Im going to agree with alot of vets here and get it in my noggin that it takes hard work and tons of patience to make it. Be patient and be very kind and gentle on yourself...it will work out for you.

[paulywogg]

Sweating it out .... I'm quitting this insanity

hi rita,i know what your going through,this is hard work! ive slipped and slided so many damn times im embarrased to show my face around here! however,this site has been my saviour,im not perfect but im a hell of alot better than i was,we can do this,its a learning process i guess

[Miley]

Sweating it out .... I'm quitting this insanity

Rita
It's good to see you back. I've been in the same boat for the past 4 weeks also. I managed 30 days, went on vacation and have been back on the roller coaster ever since. Hang in there....I am a person of faith also and I know anything is possible!

Lead....wishing you a warm welcome!

Pauly...I agree...it is very hard work. Great words of encouragement!

[Mr Vervill]

Sweating it out .... I'm quitting this insanity

No excuses needed Rita. Don't even feel you need to offer one. Just focus on what needs to be done. 1 day, 1 hour, 15 minutes. Someone here once said, I made it through the last 15 minutes, now I to focus on the next 15 minutes. Baby steps. You can do it.

[RitaNow]

Sweating it out .... I'm quitting this insanity

Thanks so much for your replies. I really felt ashamed to come back on here, but am so glad I did. Your comments give me peace and hope!

Lead 366 - Welcome and thank you for such encouragement. I totally understand that strange action of bolting. It's like we have spit into 2 different people with drinking. Unexpectedly the one who wants to drink just takes over - and the "one" who doesn't want to drink gets hijacked into going along! I don't mean to make light of it - but it's so strange and true. It's that blasted addictive voice. Looking forward to walking this journey with you.

Pauly - I am so glad you are on this site. It really does help when we humble ourselves and know that everyone here feels the same. Even those who have much time under their belts know they are only one little sip from being back at the spot we are. together we are stronger .. right?!

Miley - thanks for sharing. Here we go - we can do this together. July was a tough month, but August is where we can make it happen. Let's get those 30 days behind us and then help each other be accountable into September!

Mr Vervill - I was doing the "15 minute blocks" today! I just felt like crud today ... but every 15 minutes was a success! Thanks for that! tonight I feel better. We'll see what tomorrow feels like! But I can do anything for 15 minutes!!

[TheSunFlower]

Sweating it out .... I'm quitting this insanity

Rita

Glad you are back! After years of relapses I joined Celebrate Recovery which is faith based. Not only am I not drinking.....but, I am changing for the better. AA did not work for me personally, but Celebrate is giving me my life back.

SF

[RitaNow]

Sweating it out .... I'm quitting this insanity

Hi Sunflower! Interesting -- I believe we have a Celebrate Recovery in my Church. I've been to scared to have anyone know about my issue with AL - but think maybe I'm finally past that - as I have to face the truth. AA doesn't work for me. Plz tell me more about what Celebrate is like!!!!

[Miley]

Sweating it out .... I'm quitting this insanity

I am in RIta....Today is August 1....here we go!!!!!!

[TheSunFlower]

Sweating it out .... I'm quitting this insanity

Rita

Celebrate is for all people's hurts, habits and hangups. You find a wide variety of issues being addressed there. I can relate to almost all of them.

My suggestion is to go to the service, then they have a meeting for newcomers. Nobody has to know you are there for alcohol....you could be dealing with perfectism....as far as anybody knows.

My group said to come at six times before you wrote it off. I could do at least that. From night one my life has changed remarkedly. Not only with drinking....I feel a sense of peace and not the numbed out kind

Wish you the best.

[Miley]

Sweating it out .... I'm quitting this insanity

Sunflower...thank you for shedding some light on Celebrate Recovery. I have honestly been procrastinating about going but your post gave me encouragement. I am going to give it a try next week.

[TheSunFlower]

Sweating it out .... I'm quitting this insanity

Rita and Miley I sincerely hope you go. I know how frightening it can be to get through the doors. Nothing to be scared of.....acceptance, love and people to show you a way to live with true peace in your soul.

I put it off because I did not fair well in AA. I went half hearted. I knew I was close to relapse. I was half hoping it would suck....then I could drink. I thank God for leading me there. No relapse. The first night I came home with such a calm and true sobriety started for me that night.