On becoming joyfully AF

[mylife]

On becoming joyfully AF

Hi Free - just popped in to offer my support and say Hello!

I can so relate to dashing off e-mails between airport stops and hotel rooms! I wish I could go home for some time - but I don't see it in my future for a couple weeks.

Anyway, I'm still AF and popping an AB every few days to ensure that I stay that way!

Great to hear how well everyone is doing on this site.

[I'm Strong and in Control]

On becoming joyfully AF

What is AB?

Wondering what AB is so I can google it or research it here - would love all the tools I can get.

It has been a long time since I had 30 days sober together. Tomorrow is Day 7 - don't tell Byrdie. Love her moons dearly, but I've had several and I want to tone it down and not count -- I can't celebrate yet.

The headache has finally gone away. I actually had a night that I slept through and didn't wake up. I noticed this morning that my purple tongue is nearly gone. (It really did take 6 days and I can still see it! It could be wishful thinking but my skin tone looks better and I look less haggard.

The night sweats have just about stopped, but the nightmares got worse yesterday. I had no idea they were symptoms of withdrawal.

I'm more positive and looking forward to social events rather than dreading them. Going on holiday and to celebrate the birthday of a very dear beloved little one who doesn't need to know a drunken grandmother.

Thanks so much for all the support on this site. I wish you all no headaches, no hangovers, no disappointment, and no nightmares!

[free at last]

On becoming joyfully AF

Hi Strong, AB stands for antabuse, which is a drug that you take as a means of preventing alcohol consumption. Basically, if you consume alcohol while the drug is in your system you can get violently ill, possibly worse. I tried numerous times to get beyond 30-35 days AF without the use of any pharmaceuticals and just couldn't get past all the mind chatter. While the desire for alcohol is still present, I haven't succumbed to any temptations because I don't want to suffer the consequences. It is something to discuss with your physician and you should probably have blood work done so you can monitor any changes in your body. Eventually, I will go off it completely.

MyLife, appreciate having a fellow road warrior offering me encouragement. The airport lounges and long flights are becoming less of a temptation. Friday and Saturday nights alone in a hotel room are still a trigger, but becoming less so. Wishing you safe and AF travels.

Happy to report I am soon beginning month three of joyful, sobriety.

[free at last]

On becoming joyfully AF

Well today marks the start of my third month of sobriety. I continue to have thoughts (wishful thinking) about moderation but I know where it would, eventually lead. So I play the thoughts out and decide the short term pleasure is not worth losing all that I have worked to achieve. So, another day begins, and I am grateful for being AF and committed to continuing on this journey. Life is good.

[Mein Sonnenschein]

On becoming joyfully AF

Free, I am so proud of you! Look how strong you are! I understand that there are the internal struggles and temptations, the constant battle of will power... it's not easy. I think that it's even more admirable that you kept this up while traveling, where I believe the temptation is usually higher. I'm very happy that you've come so far. :l

[free at last]

On becoming joyfully AF

Thanks, Mein, for your encouragement. I had reached a point where I just didn't like who I was becoming. I will, however, say that deciding to go on antabuse has been a major factor in my success. I am not taking it daily, only one tablet every 7-10 days or so. It is enough to take away the mind chatter about drinking. My plan is to get to six months AF and then go off the antabuse.

I can't encourage you enough to stay with your goal of becoming AF -- if you can get a few consecutive AF weeks linked together, the mental fog will lift and you will feel better. Keep posting, ok?

[dryer]

On becoming joyfully AF

Come on players who wants to pledge to make their weekend AL free. You don't have to be a virgin it can be your 2nd or 10th. Join us rookies, pledge to be free this weekend with me.

Pledge to be free from alcohol and celebrate your benefits of being free. FREE-DUMB

Post on 2nd weekend thread...........

[free at last]

On becoming joyfully AF

This past week has been a lot of thinking about NOT DRINKING. It is rather all consuming. But I remember several people who now have significant AF time saying that the period of 2-4 months involved a lot of adjustments, and a lot of thinking about not drinking. So, I tell myself this is part of the process and to stay with it.

So, I continue on this journey and wake up everyday grateful that I did not drink the night before.

[free at last]

On becoming joyfully AF

Had another dream about drinking wine last night. This time, it was not a great bottle of wine, but that stuff that comes in a box. My ex-friend, AL, is really trying to get back into my life. Not opening any windows or doors for AL. Happy to say I am feeling pretty joyful these days.

[NoSugar]

On becoming joyfully AF

Once you give up quality, you no longer can try to tell that yourself you are doing something because of your appreciation of the nuances of the flavors and the requirements of your sophisticated palate! :H

I actually was drinking the boxed swill! Makes me cringe now.

[free at last]

On becoming joyfully AF

Oh my goodness, now I am cringing!

[halo]

On becoming joyfully AF

Free, I am going away solo for a couple of days, no spouse , no kids, on a plane and in hotel rooms! Since the 311 gang, I have slipped but not fallen (did not drink to the point of intoxication, which was truly a first for me, once I start, I find it next to impossible to stop) and am back on the AF path. The longing to relax with some drinks is a dominant thought however to give me strength I think of you and how you battle those urges all the time in your travels. Keep up all your inspiring and honest posts.
Glad to hear you are doing so well,
halo :l

[free at last]

On becoming joyfully AF

Thanks, Halo. Just remember the first "no thanks, just seltzer water and lime" is the hardest. After that, I find I get into the groove of it and can walk back to area where all the free booze is on display and get my SW&L without temptation. You can also ask that the minibar be emptied before your arrival (which I am going to do so I don't delve into the Pringles and chocolate!).

I depart on Sunday for my next two week consulting gig. Just calculated, I will be on 8 international flights in next two weeks -- am exhausted just thinking about it. But, I am so much better without AL. Can even remember the cheesy movies I watched!

Have fun, and stay strong and focused.

[free at last]

On becoming joyfully AF

Just finished leg one of my international journey to my consulting gig. Happy to arrive well hydrated, clearheaded and ready for the next leg of my journey. So grateful to be making progress in my journey to become a nondrinker.

[free at last]

On becoming joyfully AF

Tomorrow (which starts in two hours for me), will be the start of day 75 AF for me. The first couple of weeks were relatively easy in that I was exercising every day (hiking in Europe) and fell into bed too exhausted to even think about wine. Then, somewhere around day 40 or so, I started to view myself as a non-drinker. This past week, thoughts of "just one day to have some wine every now and then" started to enter my head. I swear it was AL really trying to get me to feed the beast. I didn't want to cave in to this thinking but the thoughts just would not go away. I read others posts and took comfort in knowing that the period from 70-125 days seems to be one of increased intensity, with thoughts of AL seemingly more present, but also with assurance that everntually, the thoughts will diminish.

As I have written, I started taking AB because my travel, work, family holiday schedule was such that I was not convinced I could sustain AF life beyond a 30-35 day period. I got to the point where I was taking half a tablet every 7-10 days, and only if needed. Last Monday was last time I took half a pill (work dinner at my home).

Yesterday and today, I wanted to start testing myself again--to face AL situations and not cave in and not rely on AB. Hung out in the airport lounges without caving in. Took two 8 hour international flights with the free booze readily available and stuck with seltzer water and lemon. Arrived to my upgraded hotel to a bottle of wine in the room. Still no problem. Was beginning to feel as though I may be able to wean myself from the occasional AB. But now, I qualify for the 24/7 VIP lounge where I can eat all meals, work from my computer while sipping a latte at any hour. Walked in and saw dozens of people having wine with their meals. Had to walk past the wine, champagne and hard alcohol before getting to the coffee, seltzer water, and buffet. Knew that I was going to need some extra resolve if I am going to face this every night this week. Thank goodness for AB. Again, I don't see this as an option forever, but it is helping me get past the next few months while my work still requires intense travel, weeks in a hotel room, and lots of work functions where AL is everpresent.

Tomorrow, I will start to eliminate processed sugar from my diet. I think it is contributing to the thoughts I am having about having "just a glass of wine every now and then." I really want to lick this addiction and am using every tool I can to do so.

Many thanks to MWO friends for your stalwart support. This is probably the hardest sustained effort (except for being married for 30+ years) I have ever done.

Onward, with mindfulness and hopefully with joy.