On becoming joyfully AF

[Quakegirl]

On becoming joyfully AF

Wow, Free, that's a lot of strength you have going on. It's really inspiring to hear you so
resolute, despite the temptations of the road. It helps
imagine doing things differently.
I even had some nice cheese last night - something that would
always have been with wine. It was good to try it out, on it's own...and you know what? It was just as good.

[free at last]

On becoming joyfully AF

Thanks, Quakegirl and Dryer. Been in limited internet contact the past few days but happy to report this morning is the start of day 90 for me. Never could have imagined getting to this point back in mid July. Dashing out the door, to the airport (nothing new to report).

[free at last]

On becoming joyfully AF

Spending a lovely autumn weekend with my DH and dog. Went for a walk in the woods yesterday and today, caught up on all the news articles I miss while away on my consulting gig. Told my DH about my 5 minutes of gratitude in bed every morning and how it helps start the day on a positive not. Every morning starts with I am so grateful I didn't drink last night.

Have to say that as I reached 90 days, I started to think maybe I am "cured" of this addiction and could begin to enjoy a glass or two of wine with friends. But then I played it out, one bottle of wine on the weekend, then drinks on my next flight, then drinks in the VIP lounge of the hotel, then a daily habit again. So, I drank more seltzer water and lime than anyone could drink and chose sobriety. A healthy, happy choice.

Yesterday was three months AF, now onto the beginning of month four.

[Wine-no!]

On becoming joyfully AF

Wow Free! You'll be hitting the big 100 days soon! xxx

[musomatt]

On becoming joyfully AF

To get from 'doing without' to really embracing sobriety

free at last;1519661 wrote: Dear JackieClaire, thanks for your note. I think you always have a thoughtful response for others. And, I love the "it could be worse, I could be filing" tag.

My goal is to get from "doing without" to embracing sobriety. Really embracing it, not just because I know it's good for me, but because it is the life I want. My thinking is that if I can start "practicing" mindful, joyful sobriety on a daily basis for a period of three months, then it can begin to become a way of life for me. I found the note I had written to myself two years ago and decided I would put it out to the universe and also look for positive reinforcement from others. Maybe this will turn into some kind of journal of positive thinking thread -- not certain.

Jenny, am sorry you are having such difficult time with cravings and other stressors. Are you eating three good meals each day, and cutting out the sugar? I know that helps me.

This is me in a nutshell. The hardest thing for me is not giving up drink. it is staying off it. I found the 2 years of sobriety last time (2007-2009) were a mixed bag of replacement strategies, feeling downright pissed off at times, feeling a heck of a lot better physically, but then also periods of sheer boredom. And 'squareness'. I started to feel boring. This is the reality of coming to terms with it for me. I find it really really hard to fully embrace sobriety. This is my challenge.:new:

[free at last]

On becoming joyfully AF

Dear Matt, welcome to MWO. You have found a community of caring people who know what we are struggling with. A while back there was a discussion on one of the threads about the difference between being AF and sober. Sounds like you understand that difference and are looking to make a change. I read the thread you started. You might find that a daily post on that thread and a few others will help you start to feel accountable to yourself. I know it has helped me.

[free at last]

On becoming joyfully AF

On approaching 100 days AF

As I am approaching 100 days AF, I have been having all kinds of thoughts of "at 90 days I will have this under control" or even "at 100 days, I can test the waters with a glass of wine," I know this is not an option for me, but the thoughts are there, every day. One of the threads (about having withdrawl symptoms for up to two years) led me to a site that said you have two stages before a physical relapse -- the emotional stage (in which you are not taking care of yourself, eating right, exercise) and the mental stage (in which you start to plan out when and how you will drink, often hiding your drinking from the people who you have told about your efforts to stop). All of this to say I feel as though this addiction voice is still very strong, trying to lure me back.

Talked to my DH about it this weekend and he said, "That one, half pill of AB every 7-10 days helps you with the mental issues. Why are you resisting taking it?" I think it is because I think if I really want to quit, I'll be able to do so without the pill. So, I went another day without to see if I could resist temptation. The universe responded because I ran into a girlfriend on the way home from the grocery store. She was in the local wine shop participating in a tasting. I went inside and waited while she finished tasting and bought her wine. We went back to my apartment and I opened her wine, poured her a glass, and we chatted. Poured her another glass, and we continued to chat while I am drinking, I swear, the 12th glass of seltzer water and lime for the day. Sent her home with her wine and then asked my husband, "Do you think XX knows I am trying to quit drinking?" To which he responded, "duh? you opened a bottle of wine, poured her two glasses, and sent her home with the bottle. I think she gets it."

This morning, am feeling pleased that I was able to resist incredible temptation but not willing to push it much further. Since I am getting on a business flight tomorrow, then turning down the bottle of complimentary wine in my hotel room, and walking past the free wine in the VIP lounge, I am going to take my half dose of AB and put the mind chatter in the closet for the next week.

I once wrote that this struggle is like being on a white water rafting trip. Feels as though I have been through some class 3 and 4 rapids and now need some time in an eddy to catch my breath. Thank goodness for AB, the support of my DH, and MWO.

[free at last]

On becoming joyfully AF

when you crave your neighbor's champagne

Sitting in the airport lounge, watching my neighbor sip his champagne. The guy has had the glass, almost full, for 20 minutes now. There was a flight, back in March, when I swear I was going to guzzle my neighbor's champagne while he was in the bathroom and tell him it had spilled. Now, I can actually watch another person and feel no envy or desire. Now yesterday, that might have been a different matter, but today, I am feeling so good about being AF.

I'm Strong -- if you are reading this, I saw your post in the Newbie's nest. Thanks for the compliment. I'm no different than many here, just putting one foot in front of the other with the knowledge that someday I will get to a point where the thoughts will be a minor blimp on my AL radar screen.

Happy Monday everyone.

[I'm Strong and in Control]

On becoming joyfully AF

Thanks, Free. You are one of the reasons why I am here, joyfully, alcohol free. Day 8. My life is blessed. I feel wonderful sitting at home in my pjs, reading posts while DH contentedly reads his favorite book - happy that we are cooking great food, eating together and living the simple life. This was one of the things I drank to avoid????

[free at last]

On becoming joyfully AF

Dear Strong, so good to hear from you and see that you are happily AF. The guy who cuts my hair (I guess some would call him a super stylist) has been AF since early Jan 2013. He told me it only gets better after three months. I am beginning to see his point. I am enjoying re-discovering my happy self.

[Sake123]

On becoming joyfully AF

Free - I am laughing about the guy next to you with the champagne. I can see myself actually going through with guzzling the drink and saying it spilled. Might even splash a tiny sip on the tray table for effect. LOL!

[Wine-no!]

On becoming joyfully AF

Hi Free
Sorry to hear about the brain chatter but glad to hear you already feel better today. You are soooo close to 100 days

LOL with the guy and his champagne....

[I'm Strong and in Control]

On becoming joyfully AF

Wow, Free!!! 100 days. Following those footsteps. One day at a time.

[free at last]

On becoming joyfully AF

Thanks, all. This week has brought an extra challenge. The internet in our hotel rooms is not working so I have to work from the VIP lounge pretty much all afternoon and into the evenings. So now I am surrounded by people with drinks for several hours a day. I have my moments when I contemplate "no one will know if I have a glass of wine or two" but then I say "I'll know," So, if I can't surf the temptation, I will not be shy about taking half an antabuse pill this week.

While 100 days is a great goal to reach, there is nothing magic in the number. On day 101, I'll still have to push thoughts of AL aside, say no thanks to the ubiquitous offers of wine, and get on with my business. Trying to remain firm in my convictions that AL is a bad lover that I am no longer indulging. This site and the people on MWO sure help. Thanks!

[Quakegirl]

On becoming joyfully AF

Keep going, Free. Airport/hotel lounges are my worst nightmare. Remember that great advice you have me - the first 'no' is the hardest. And just think how crappy your fellow guests will feel
tomorrow...and how much better off you'll be. Your 100 days rocks.