Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

On becoming joyfully AF

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 23
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 8 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 23 template Next
    #256
    On becoming joyfully AF

    Dear Friends,
    An update from holiday in remote parts of the world. This trip has been challenging, stimulating, and memorable. Some great days and some terrible nights. During the second week, I woke up at 3:30am to find I had been biten, numerous times, while sleeping. This was the first time our accommodations were in twin beds and my DH was extremely grateful because his bed was bug free. Couldn't be certain if it was bedbugs (the horror) or fleas (again, the horror). Then, the next night, in a new village with different accommodations, we learned there was, definitely, a flea infestation. In all my travels, have never encountered anything like this. Have to confess, when we finally made it to a facility that served alcohol, I broke down and had a few glasses of wine. Not asking for sympathy, just reporting in.

    Today is New Year's and I am continuing on my quest for a joyous, AF life.
    Free at Last
    "What you seek is seeking you." -- Rumi

    Highly recommend this video
    http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

    July 19, 2013 -- the beginning of being Free at Last

    Comment

      #257
      On becoming joyfully AF

      Free, :l it's good to see you back - I see you're back in the saddle - just wondering how you feel about having had wine? Are you disappointed? I have such mixed emotions about it all -- I don't feel regret, exactly, but I do feel like I still want to be AF permanently. You?

      Comment

        #258
        On becoming joyfully AF

        Hi UN,
        Great to "hear" from you. The few times I have had wine after reaching 100+ days AF in late Oct, I was very much conscious of my decision to drink. Sometimes I just have a hard time coming to terms with "never." I am not unhappy with my decision to drink during this holiday, but I am committed to being AF for the month of Jan and will look at Feb when it comes.
        Free at Last
        "What you seek is seeking you." -- Rumi

        Highly recommend this video
        http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

        July 19, 2013 -- the beginning of being Free at Last

        Comment

          #259
          On becoming joyfully AF

          Free, you don't feel like it will put you back into the "vicious cycle"? I think we are a lot alike in that we can go long periods of time without alcohol, get back into a rut we regret, swear off, and then let ourselves slip back. Somehow, for me, it bothers me not to think in terms of "I'm done totally." When I leave the door open a crack I feel troubled. Just hoping that you're seeing things clearly by getting off the "forever" train. You know what's best for you -- just trying to get you to chat a bit about it because I know that not that long ago you were very strongly committed to being AF. Trying to be a friend - definitely NOT trying to preach. Helps me understand myself too because I see that our logic is similar.

          Big hugs,
          UN :lilheart:

          Comment

            #260
            On becoming joyfully AF

            Wishing everyone a wonderful New Year, here's to making every day in 2014 a special one. Hope your travels are safe Free, with no more bugs!
            On a mission, and the only option is success. My family and I deserve a better life, an AF life.:h

            Comment

              #261
              On becoming joyfully AF

              Free I have joined the January sober thread, thinking back to the success of the 311 gang. Hope to find that success again! :l
              On a mission, and the only option is success. My family and I deserve a better life, an AF life.:h

              Comment

                #262
                On becoming joyfully AF

                Free, hope you are having a great start to the new year. Feeling positive, hope you are as well.
                On a mission, and the only option is success. My family and I deserve a better life, an AF life.:h

                Comment

                  #263
                  On becoming joyfully AF

                  Hi all,
                  After 37 hours in transit, and 20 days of holiday (bugbites and all) finally made it home yesterday evening. Slept for 11 hours and now ready to start another AF day.

                  UN--to answer your question, I haven't gone down any rabbit hole or off a cliff. That may because I have made being AF my status quo--the occasional choices to have some wine have been just that -- a choice to have some wine but not to go to any extreme.

                  Wishing everyone a joyous 2014.
                  Free at Last
                  "What you seek is seeking you." -- Rumi

                  Highly recommend this video
                  http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

                  July 19, 2013 -- the beginning of being Free at Last

                  Comment

                    #264
                    On becoming joyfully AF

                    Welcome back, Free!

                    Comment

                      #265
                      On becoming joyfully AF

                      Today marks the six month anniversary since I decided to take AB to help me in this journey. After reaching 100+ days, I decided on three separate occasions (when I had been off AB) to have some wine for a couple of days. I don't believe in beating myself up (over anything!) and accept my decisions and move on.

                      I am still in a middle ground of acceptance/surrender. While the thoughts of not drinking AL are significantly reduced, I can't quite say "never again." I also have no desire to think about counting my number of drinks or saying "only on the weekends", etc. So I am in a middle ground -- AF for weeks at a time, but aware that I may, at some point, choose to have some wine in the evenings. I know that reaching 100+ days helped me enormously in reaching this breakthrough where wine is not a daily/weekly pattern for me.

                      I continue to travel a lot for this consulting gig, and seltzer water and lime is my drink of choice. I still have several work dinner/receptions per week, and now my colleagues would be surprised to see me with a glass of wine. I still have long periods of time when I am alone in my hotel on the weekends, but the rowing machine and pool have become my best friends.

                      So, all in all, I would say I have not reached "perfection" (that has never been an issue/goal of mine) with regard to an AF life, but I am pleased with the progress I am making, quite calm in the face of numerous stresses and yes, joyful.
                      Free at Last
                      "What you seek is seeking you." -- Rumi

                      Highly recommend this video
                      http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

                      July 19, 2013 -- the beginning of being Free at Last

                      Comment

                        #266
                        On becoming joyfully AF

                        Free, I really enjoyed reading your last post. It was very interesting for me. We are all different, for you that hundred days al free has seemed to break your daily/weekly patterns (sorry I don't know exactly how often you drank)

                        About ten years ago I was al free for three years and three months, then I drank, it was so different for me.... it was huge amounts, about three eves a week then it crept up some more etc. Also after every time I would feel devastated, guilty, terribly depressed.

                        You seem unusual in that you really have been able to develop a "take it or leave it attitude", ie nearly all of the time leaving it.

                        I feel I want to be sober forever, as drinking makes me so unhappy and sucks me back in very quickly, but I do treasure every sober day I had this year and last year. I like what you said about progress not perfection.

                        Good luck with your future journey.

                        Darkest Diamond
                        New life started on 1st May 2014, One day at a time I will work at continuing it forever!

                        Comment

                          #267
                          On becoming joyfully AF

                          Dear DD,
                          Thanks for your note. My various efforts to reach three months of sobriety (starting March 2013) and then finally achieving 100+ AF days helped me enormously. I was able to change patterns (always having champagne and red wine in airport lounges and flights) to preferring non-alcoholic beverages as I slept better and was able to land and start working. Receptions changed from me joining my colleagues in drinking to observing the situation, again making me better able to retain conversations and follow up with my work later. And, I went from drinking red wine by the pool to swimming in the pool. While I have yet to experience any weight loss (still enjoy chocolate too much), I feel the best I have been in years.

                          As for "taking it or leaving it" I would not say I have reached that level of detachment from AL. It is still omnipresent in my work world. Every day that I am on my consulting gig I have access to unlimited complimentary wine, same for my business travel. The difference is not drinking is my default and I work to maintain that setting. If/when I choose to have some wine in the evening, it will be because I have made a deliberate choice.

                          I am glad you have thought about your relationship with AL, and the best way for you to achieve a happy life. It is a process that's for sure.
                          Free at Last
                          "What you seek is seeking you." -- Rumi

                          Highly recommend this video
                          http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

                          July 19, 2013 -- the beginning of being Free at Last

                          Comment

                            #268
                            On becoming joyfully AF

                            free at last;1615731 wrote: feel the best I have been in years.
                            .
                            And how many women our age would be thrilled to say that ?

                            I admire you, Free, for your honesty. You are definitely taking the risk of being vulnerable. Your solution to the problem we share is a bit different than has been possible for most of us here. It probably would be tempting for some people not to admit that they occasionally choose to drink to avoid the questions and comments that might elicit. I know that when I have success in something (e.g. an eating plan, a way to stop drinking, a new exercise program, etc.), I have to (try!) to reign in my enthusiasm and not think that everybody I care about should try it. We're all different and what works for one may or may not be a good choice for others.

                            I hope you continue to have the peace in this part of your life that you've found :l.

                            Also hope the next leg of your trip is interesting and rewarding. :h NS

                            Comment

                              #269
                              On becoming joyfully AF

                              NoSugar;1615806 wrote: And how many women our age would be thrilled to say that ?

                              I know that when I have success in something (e.g. an eating plan, a way to stop drinking, a new exercise program, etc.), I have to (try!) to reign in my enthusiasm and not think that everybody I care about should try it. NS
                              No Sugar, I am EXACTLY the same, my friends just tell me to shut up :H

                              Free, keep fighting the good fight. We've got one kick at the can and we are finding the strength to make it the best one for us. :l
                              On a mission, and the only option is success. My family and I deserve a better life, an AF life.:h

                              Comment

                                #270
                                On becoming joyfully AF

                                Had a quick five days at home, managed to take a 3 hour walk in the snowy woods with DH and wonder dog, help a friend move in the midst of a snowstorm, and reconnect with a few friends.

                                Now off for a week-long consulting gig. No plans for AF on any of the four 6+ plus flights I'll be on.

                                Life is good.
                                Free at Last
                                "What you seek is seeking you." -- Rumi

                                Highly recommend this video
                                http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

                                July 19, 2013 -- the beginning of being Free at Last

                                Comment

                                Previous 1 8 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 23 template Next
                                Working...
                                X