I'm still here...

[Sweetgum]

Hi all, thought i'd better check in

I'm on day 4 AF and feeling ok so far, trying to get the pieces of my life back together. We are in dire financial straits thanks to my drinking so I really don't know how we'll survive, It's all my fault we are in this mess but theres nothing I can do to help. We are having to take my youngest son out of nursery at the end of this week because we can no longer afford the fees (as i lost my job) and its breaking my heart because he really loves it and its been so good for him. I don't want the kids to miss out on trips, treats , new clothes etc. all because I can't hold down a job.

Louise

[irishlady]

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Hi Lou, Its bad enough when this addiction affects you, but when it affects your loved ones as well it makes it all the worse...

You have come to the right place for help and support.. Congratulations on 4 days AF, its not easy I know....Just take it one small step at a time and you will get there, and remember, keep on reading and posting on here, it will help to keep your mind focused on what you hope to achieve..

I wish you all you wish for yourself,

Love, Louise xxx

[Guest]

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Louise,

I wish you all the best in the mountains you are going to have to climb in the next little while. It's not easy on a good day, it's even harder when you know it effects the ones you love. The guilt just kills me. Irishlady said it perfectly.

You will get through this, one day at a time..or hell, one hour at a time. We are all here for you.

xoxoxox

[Rags]

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Hi Lou,
Look on the other side of the coin and you'll see that you'll now be able to spend the precious time with your little boy. And him being with you will probably help you not to drink when he is with you. So you are in other ways a lucky person. I have a couple of friends who never really saw their kids grow up. They just got reports from the child care centre.... droppped off the kids at 7 am, picked them up at 6pm, took them home, fed them, put them to bed. Never had the time... too busy working to get money to pay for childcare, the new TV every couple of years. One child had a breakdown and is now an alcoholic. The other has rejected the parents and has dropped out of uni and is on the dole. Those parents were doing what they thought was their best for their children.
So, while you're not working, cherish this precious time you have with your son.
Put your mind to it and things really will start to work out for you and your family.
Be kind to yourself ,you will find your inner strength to get over this hurdle.

I wish you well on your journey. Please stay and post often.
Rags

[Lotus]

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Louisse

Well done on 4 days AF.

I too got myself in financial difficulties. I realised that hubby and I spent about ?30k on drinks and fags alone over the last 5 years. Now I am not drinking I am saving myself about ?60 a week (but hubby still is drinking but moderating).

It was horrible feeling going to the cash point a week after I had been paid and realising my account was nil. Especially when I had a whole month to go. Then I started to using credit cards and when they were up to it's limits I went on to pawn stuff. However the worse was when I had no more credit and no more gold to pawn. I'm still paying off my loans and pawn interest, but I now know the amount I owe is going down.

You don't say who you owe or what they are, but there is plenty of help available to make life manageable. A good point would be the citizen's advice bureau. If it is credit cards they can help you make smaller payment arrangements. If you want more info feel free to pm me.

[DidItForMe]

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Day 4 is awesome, don't let that go by unnoticed by you!!!! It feels terrible when you think you are at the bottom of the barrel, but remember, when you at the bottom, the only way to go is up. Things will get better, little by little. Focus on what is important. You, staying sober, your little one. Life will get better. Keep in touch with us. We are ALL pulling for you!

[Barbie Ellen]

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Not much else I can add, I know it looks dim right now but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Chin up, all will be ok!
WE ARE HERE!!!!

[Guest]

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louise,children adapt so well. As someone said more Mommy time is great. And a AF Mommmy is wonderful. Your resources will bounce back. I just counted last weel how much I'm saving by moderating drinking. It really adds up. I roghly am savin $300 a month.
Lots of lov; It will get better
mary

[cassy]

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Hi Lou..see this as an opportunity to be with the kids and have some fun times..There is always the park, library, walking in the woods, by the river, get on your bikes.look for special offers on admisssions.

cook with the kids, garden etc

some kids never do that stuff and really miss out..they will have great childhood memories if you just get on being mom...not pretending it isnt hard with not much money..BUT ITS JUST DIFFERENT.
My grandaughter is 5 and she loves making perfunme in the garden, baking with grandma. we build dens in the garden. over the fields to see the lambs ets...its invaluable time.. and is educational.

so Lou look at the plus side of cutting the booze..more energy, maybe less hangovers, and a spring in your step that you have the opportunity to spend quality time with the kids.

you sound like a caring mom..dont feel guilty...go have fun with the kids..and who know maybe a part time job may come your way??

i wish tou good luck

Cassy

[betty boop]

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Hi Lou & :welcome:

You may feel really bad at the minute, but you are on the right track, if you read my story it will show how I turned my life totally around with the help of this site, I can't say that it is easy, but it is well worth the effort.

As some else has said, spend the time with your son, I used to suffer from anxiety and depression and a good friend of mine said that when you feel anxious, pick up your daughter and spin her round, make her giggle, skip in the garden with her, dance round the kitchen with her, but most of all pick up her happiness and positive energy, it works well for cravings as well.

All the best for you and look forward to seeing you around the boards xx

[Popeye]

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Hello Louise.
I'm glad you're here. This is a great place.
Good advice and ideas.
I love it here.

[lorisunshine]

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Hello Lou,
welcome to MWO. It looks pretty grim right now, but do be proud of yourself. 4 days AF is a grand achievement and it's only the beginning. Please come back and get all the emotional help that so many here have to offer. I can add little else that has not been said before. Do look on the bright side, you can take your little one to the park and do all these wonderful sober things that don't cost money at all. That is what kids do remember in the end, the time you spent with them is what shapes them.
If we devote time to our children, it makes them feel so loved and treasured and it's free.
Hugs Lori