25 years old - weekly binger

[Londoner]

25 years old - weekly binger

Got those thoughts running through my head again.

"I love the taste of beer"
"I love the effect of beer"
"I love to party"
"It's fun"

It's amazing what one big night does to me. I really just want to go out and party.

Looks like I need 2 weeks of solitary confinement to kick the party voice out of my head and get back on the straight and narrow. I'm less of a hassle sober. And more likely to meet a nice partner sober.

[Samstone]

25 years old - weekly binger

Londoner
sooner or later you gotta decide. It may not be this time. My first serious stop was in my thirties, result of drinking then... divorce. Multiple stops since then. Now I'm almost 60 and I've wasted all those years getting buzzed. I was "blessed" with high blood pressure, alienating my family for the second time, overweight as hell. I'm not telling you this to tell my story, I'm telling you this in hopes it won't be yours or worse. Tell that voice to go to hell. It only wants to be fed, you gotta figure out what it is you really want. Be the sober. Pulling for you , friend.
Sam
p.s. get yourself over to the nest... lots of support!

[Londoner]

25 years old - weekly binger

Good words to read Samstone.

For some reason, I've got over this binge quicker than normal. Those words from yesterday are losing power. Maybe because I have treated my body well for 6 weeks and have not overburdened it with weekly binges. I think my body itself is recovering. A 6 month spell will do me a world of wonders and then I think my soul and spiritual self can recover fully.

When I look back on things, my general life quality decreased at 16 - when I first got drunk and then further when I hit 18 when I could go clubbing. I dropped sports, my education dropped, I had no desire for work.

Definitely the sort of guy that needs a steady life - no sudden highs or lows. Just building gradually the foundations for a solid 75 years

[Londoner]

25 years old - weekly binger

Bar the binge last weekend I am feeling good.

Definitely need to get over that first week. That's when my body wants it most.

I am sure my personality is changing too. I am more confident in myself and want to be who I really am rather than who I think people want me to be. And as said I prefer socialising in various situations now. I even speak my mind - saying what I want to rather than saying to people what they want to hear with horrible fake comments. No more white lies - that is a character weakness.

I can remember at Christmas last year having a few beers every day, and going to the pub I had crippling anxiety. Social anxiety that is. I needed beer to even feel like I could be there.

I'm starting to feel comfortable in more settings AF, and realise just how sad it is to see everyone using booze as a consistent confidence booster.

I must thank everyone here for my progress so far. I really feel I recovered well this time for two reasons. One being the support here. And Two, my body is getting stronger and more energy as it does not have to recover from that big weekly binge. I even think my testosterone levels are improving

[Londoner]

25 years old - weekly binger

Just checking in, bank holiday Monday here in England. I had a pretty stressful weekend - basically because I ended up not doing much. I have come to realise that I need to be productive and working towards something to feel happier. That means planning my days better.

I have also realised just how selfish alcohol has made me in the past. 8 years of the once weekly 'social binge' was all about me really. I would drink to numb my social anxiety (which in fact is caused by alcohol in the bigger picture) and would not really be making true human connection. The following days or weeks I would turn down social invites or any contact from friends because I felt so sub-par.

Anyway, I think slowly my body is healing. It is my belief that alcohol leads to my generally poor lifestyle, which in turn really messes with my body's balance.

Since giving up my weekly binge, my sleep pattern is bang on, I exercise regularly, eat far better, do not crave rubbishy food and have so much more energy.

[Londoner]

25 years old - weekly binger

Thought I would just check in here on my own thread.

5 weeks of no binging on Saturday nights. Getting back to that point now when I am happy going out without drink and can easily tell people I want a water......instead of explaining why I don't want an AL drink.

I am a happier person by far. More confident. Moving in the right direction. I also know that my situation is controlled by me and no one else. Before I would have blamed it on everything else - there's too much competition, she's too pretty, blah blah blah.

I control my fate. No one else.

And one thing someone mentioned to me on here a while back that really stuck, has helped. It was along the lines of:

"Tell yourself you are not a drinker."

It's funny. It coincides with a book I am reading now. We need to think right. We need to see us in a positive setting. Without that imagination of what we want to be like, the chances of getting there are far slimmer.

Now I tell myself: "I want to be high on life, not be controlled by any substance, person or situation".

Going AF is really changing my outlook on life. And that's coming from someone who would only drink once per week (albeit it into a terrible state).

[sparkles143]

25 years old - weekly binger

Love your post very inspiring...

[Samstone]

25 years old - weekly binger

That's really great Londoner, I know you got to feel good about yourself. Isn't great being in control instead waking up in the morning thinking, oh no, wonder what I did.

best to you
Sam

[sparkles143]

25 years old - weekly binger

Agree !

[Londoner]

25 years old - weekly binger

Well, this post is going to be a long one. It is going to be edited many times before you read the final cut below. I need to get this out on paper as it will help me recover from the weekend.

I blew it Saturday night. Royally! I stupidly had one beer that was left in the fridge, which led onto a couple of vodka and tonics. At this point my friend had been trying to get me out, and let's say I am not the hardest to convince after a few alcoholic beverages.

It was strange, this time. It was almost as if I had another side of my brain doing all it could to protect me from going out. I know deep down how those sort of nights end.

So I went out at about midnight and the club wasn't closing until 11am. I had a few more alcoholic drinks by which time the group with my friends were rolling out RD's. It is by this point I am no longer in full control of my actions. I become a completely different person after 3 beers. I do things I would not do when sober - that is to do things, go places, say certain things, talk to people, put certain things in my body.

This led to a massive binge. I was out, as said, by 12am and had my last drink/RD at 12pm. Stupid amounts of money were spent (that I do not have to waste) and a day of my life was literally lost. At the time it made perfect sense. There was no concept of time or rationality. One club led to the next. One drink led to a few more, and so on. Ended up partying in a club that is not my crowd at all and I actually feel guilty in myself from going there.

So the day after my binge was another day lost. Could not face the world at all. Stayed in bed all day and had to cancel work as I just looked wiped out and could not hear properly from tinnitus (caused by 24hours of booming music). I must admit I have not felt like this for a long time. Suicidal. I see no way out and think 'what is the point'? Deep down I know in just 2 weeks time of quality sleep, nutrition and exercise I will be on top of the world again. This is where this post will come in extra handy - to remind me how bad I felt.

Today I woke up feeling somewhat better. I have told myself to start the day off right. A proper breakfast formed of only whole natural foods. It's funny as I believe, for me sugar is a gateway drug as well as alcohol. I seem to medicate to easily with high sugar processed foods when life is not going too well and in the long term that leads me onto the harder substances.

I feel guilty. No one apart from my one friend whom I was out with on the weekend had any idea of what I was up to, and nor will they ever will. It is me who has to live with this by myself. I stood up two friends on the Sunday because I was too busy tripping out and not in touch with reality - I feel extra guilty about that too. Again, I had to make up shitty excuses as to why I had to bail.

From here I will isolate myself to just quality home life and getting back on track with work. I do not feel ready to socialise again, and I know this will take a fair few weeks to get back to where I was. I think it makes it harder as I know I was living true happiness but a few weeks ago. Now I know how that feels, it is harder to except this blip of mine from the weekend.

So, that is absolute babble coming from my brain direct to the keyboard, but I had to spill this somewhere anonymously.

[YouKayBee]

25 years old - weekly binger

Thanks for this Londoner. In all of this honesty, especially with yourself is very important. I read your other post above, then scrolled down and was like "Oh no", but I remember how easy it can be.

Did you eat sugar this week by any chance? I know I'd have a sweet binge, then the next day a drinking session almost always followed.

[Londoner]

25 years old - weekly binger

Hi UKBlonde Good to hear from you.

It had been leading up to this - a week and a half ago it started with a big sugar binge when at cinema and slowly but surely I gradually incorporated larger amounts of sugar into my lifestyle over the next 10 days.

Just feel like I have knocked myself back a long time in my recovery - as said I was starting to get high on real life. On real sensation. Not the falseness that I have just had over the weekend. The thing I hate about it the most is who I become when under the influence. I become this annoying ferret who I would not want to be around. My expectation of myself vs what mind altering substances do to me is the thing that really grinds me down. Who is the real me I start to ask myself? The sober one? Or the one that comes out when I go hell for leather?

[YouKayBee]

25 years old - weekly binger

Londoner;1563126 wrote: Hi UKBlonde Good to hear from you.

It had been leading up to this - a week and a half ago it started with a big sugar binge when at cinema and slowly but surely I gradually incorporated larger amounts of sugar into my lifestyle over the next 10 days.

Just feel like I have knocked myself back a long time in my recovery - as said I was starting to get high on real life. On real sensation. Not the falseness that I have just had over the weekend. The thing I hate about it the most is who I become when under the influence. I become this annoying ferret who I would not want to be around. My expectation of myself vs what mind altering substances do to me is the thing that really grinds me down. Who is the real me I start to ask myself? The sober one? Or the one that comes out when I go hell for leather?

This is something I think you can use to keep yourself safe. I remind myself a lot of how horrible I was drunk, some people say "Ah bet you were lovely", I say no the reality was quite horrific. I did lots of things I'd not normally do.

Local police have a campaign ad on the radio at the moment, it lists things people have done out of character when drunk and the message is think before you drink. Never so more important than for people like us.

I say the real you is the sober you. The old saying that drink brings the truth out is bollocks, all it does is take your fears away and your fears are there to protect you. It's also a saying people use to justify what is a real social problem, their own habits.

I went out to a club night at the weekend, I didn't drink, I sat there feeling really, really chilled. Even on TSM I'd have been wondering what I was drinking next, stressing about how slow or fast I was drinking, can I drive the next day, loads of stuff. Don't have all that these days.

Back to you

[Londoner]

25 years old - weekly binger

One of the best things was getting up every morning knowing if someone wanted to do something I would be there. Fresh as a daisy. Drink takes that away from me. I become the selfish one who cannot do anything because I feel terrible - mentally and physically.

My creative streak was improving. My memory was improving. Generally just realising my potential again.

I will not speak to my friend again for a while, I know that. I think we are just bad influences on each other, and really we do not go out unless it is to get wasted. So I am deleting him from my phonebook. Had enough of it.

Guess all in all I am a bit lonely atm. Drink has compounded that this weekend, and I need to make the effort to make life good again. These are the days I hate - no movement. No change. Just feeling down/ Just listen to me, I sound like one of those people I do not want to be around.

Time to pick myself up and pay for my mistake this weekend.

[broken halo]

25 years old - weekly binger

Hi Londoner. It's done now, you can't go back and change it. Make sure there's no beer in the back of that fridge next time! I have never taken RD's so I can't imagine what that must be like on top of alcohol. You know the real you is the sober one, the one who wants REAL life.

Time to pick yourself up, yes. But by the sounds of it you have already paid dearly for the weekend.