25 years old - weekly binger

[Londoner]

25 years old - weekly binger

Allan, that's a great logic. Drinking buddy or friend?

[3June2013]

25 years old - weekly binger

One way to find out. Tell her you don't drink, see what happens next!

[Londoner]

25 years old - weekly binger

Yes, I will do that. It is amazing how easily your brain can trick you into it. After 4 weeks of no binge drinking in social situations it is reverting to a state of thinking that I am safe and that I can do it. And if I do I know for sure that I will lose any progress just like that ....

[Londoner]

25 years old - weekly binger

Well I've decided that if she wants to go out for drinks tomorrow, I will not be joining. I know what will happen - she will get very drunk and start acting up. You know how people get attention seeking when drunk and also say/do things to impress others that they wouldn't do when drunk? I can't be arsed with being that guy that has to put up with being there for that. If it means staying in alone tomorrow night, so be it.

I'm starting to realise how many relationships are built on alcohol. And that has included me for too long.

You meet a friend, proceed to get very drunk and 'socialise'. Why cannot you socialise without the juice down you?

Definitely something different going on in my mind right now. Things are falling into place in life, and I am viewing alcohol use very differently now.

I told someone the other day that I was cutting the partying out, and I got the 'Oh, but you're young you should enjoy life' line. It really is a mindset that you need alcohol to have fun in life for many, including myself up until a month ago.

For me, I am realising a fun life is a good life. And a good life for me is a regular sleeping patter, exercise, healthy eating, no drinking or narcotics and building strong and long lasting relationships. Alcohol takes that away from me, and I guess I am now starting to be more picky with who I hang about with. I am MORE likely to socialise in the long term alcohol free than if I stay in the cycle of being an anxious mess because of a once weekly binge.

[3June2013]

25 years old - weekly binger

Londoner you are so smart. It took most of us up for 40 years to get to where you are now. Believe it, you have exactly what it takes to make this stick. Branch out and find like minded friends. I have a 25 year old son who drinks and I watch him, he's managing it well right now, but I wish he would think things out the way you have! Be proud of yourself!

:goodjob:

[allankay]

25 years old - weekly binger

Londoner,

I am very proud of you. You have a very good attitude and it is pretty remarkable that you managed to figure all of this out in under 30 days. It usually takes many attempts and lots of mistakes before we realise what's important.

Loosing friends is very hard, I had to go through that myself. But as someone once said "forget the people in your past, they didn't make it to your future"

Allan

[Londoner]

25 years old - weekly binger

I need help. After all of my verbal on here I have been stupid over the last two weekends.
Last weekend I drank at home alone.
Yesterday I drank at a restaurant and then pub with friends.
And then two beers with friends today.

None off them were any where near as bad as normal. And today I was the one who ended proceedings.

But I know it will slowly return to where I was. Using booze to make up for my chemical imbalances and inadequacies. It will lead to big sessions which lead into all nighters. Which in turn lead to no motivation, no progression in life or work and an unhappy me.

The only reason yesterday didn't go back to normal all night session is v because my mates didn't text me back before I ended up doing off to sleep.

All it takes is two points and a nudge and I will end up back where I was.

Extreme caution needed.

[allankay]

25 years old - weekly binger

Londoner,

by telling the truth you are being accountable for your actions and its a very big step. Don't be too hard on yourself, just learn from the experience and next time you are in the same position you will remember why you drank and will stop yourself.

It took most of us many attempts to quit. I once went 6 months without drinking... then because of a comment that my parents (of all people) made I started again (something about being normal i.e. a drinker.

Remember what Byrdie said. If you notice yourself slipping check; are you thirsty, hungry, bored or lonely? If so make a conscious decision not to drink.

Best,

Allan

[broken halo]

25 years old - weekly binger

hey Londoner

At least last night didn't turn into the dreaded all nighter. You are still learning and growing. And calling a halt after two beers shows strength and determination that you don't want to get back to where you were. I haven't read all of your thread but I have the gist of it and I am full of admiration for you. So young, so many excuses that you could use, but choose not to. You are being accountable for your behaviours and that is vital. Keep thinking, keep battling. Think about strategy, goals and coping mechanisms. But above all stay strong and committed. We are all learning Londoner. Don't be too hard on yourself.

[Londoner]

25 years old - weekly binger

It's funny, after about 4 weeks of no alcohol things become better and more consistent. I become more social, sports performance improve, mood is more consistent and I actually want to go out without booze.

I know how hard it will be. Some of my best friends are the ones who will go wild sometimes. But they respect me when I say I do not want to drink.

Thanks for the support. I need it.

[3June2013]

25 years old - weekly binger

Londoner so happy to see you around! I was a little concerned when I didn't see you! Glad to hear your friends are coming around and that you're enjoying the AF life! 4 weeks? Good for you! That's a full moon!!:moon::applaud:

[YouKayBee]

25 years old - weekly binger

Londoner;1537540 wrote: It's funny, after about 4 weeks of no alcohol things become better and more consistent. I become more social, sports performance improve, mood is more consistent and I actually want to go out without booze.

I know how hard it will be. Some of my best friends are the ones who will go wild sometimes. But they respect me when I say I do not want to drink.

Thanks for the support. I need it.

This is true, I always found physical health truly improved after weeks of being AF, even cutting back from weekend drinking showed a massive difference.

You may have to avoid some of your friends if that keeps you safer, sorry to say that but if they are true friends they will accept this or even agree to do some non-alcohol activities with you. I found my friends changed as I got my drinking under control/during significant AF time - the heavy drinkers either decided not to drink as much because they realised there it's just not needed, or they cleared off and did their own thing - I gained and regained people in my life who drank very little if at all.

[some-dumbass]

25 years old - weekly binger

hang in there fella. a slip doesn't inextricably take you back to where you were, if you don't let it (I should know - had a slip myself on friday night). well done for coming back on here & asking for help

Londoner;1537523 wrote: But I know it will slowly return to where I was. Using booze to make up for my chemical imbalances and inadequacies.

as has been discussed on here recently, there's a big difference between not drinking & living sober. I think to live sober you really need to address the reasons why you drank. or you're condemming yourself to repeat the behaviours can you get some help where you are - maybe some counseling, a support group (12-Step or otherwise), or have a chat to your GP?

one of these days I might learn to take my own advice ...

[Samstone]

25 years old - weekly binger

one of these days I might learn to take my own advice ...
boy Some DA
I get that point oh too well

[Londoner]

25 years old - weekly binger

some-dumbass;1537547 wrote: There's a big difference between not drinking & living sober. I think to live sober you really need to address the reasons why you drank

And that is what I am doing. I am trying to address a lot of areas in my life.

It all seems to boil down to drinking. I drink in social situations for many reasons - social anxiety, feeling inadequate, to fit in, lack of confidence with women and what is seen as a social norm.

The funny thing is, all of that improved even within 4 weeks of stopping drinking.

This morning I woke up again with one of those 'can't be bothered to get up' mindsets and feeling that the daily battle of life is too great.

In an AF mood I would relish getting up.

Still, let's stick it out again and see if I can get even better than how I felt.