25 years old - weekly binger

[3June2013]

25 years old - weekly binger

Londoner hopefully each quit triggers you to remember how good it feels to be AF and maybe this time it will stick? If you know how good four weeks feels, imagine eight? ( that's where I am now) and double those fit healthy energetic feelings. I know it's tough due to social norms and expectations, but I bet you can find a crowd who enjoys life without AL. Keep looking. Don't give up.!

[Londoner]

25 years old - weekly binger

Thanks.

I've tried to give up different vices before. And after about 40 days I seem to feel a good benefit.

I think 6months is a great target for true heeling.

But to heal fully I need to stop using drink and food as things that I use to give short term happiness.

So I'm looking at the end of next January to be a new person. That's a great target. Previously I would have said - oh but there's New Years and so and so's birthday - I need to drink for those. But ultimately I can say that every year. There is no better time to quit than NOW.

[Darkest Diamond]

25 years old - weekly binger

You sound strong

Hiya,
You seem to have great self insight, you were and are doing well. Learn from your recent mini relapse, what lead to it? Why? etc then you can move on and not let it happen again. I admire you for doing this so young. I'm a Londoner and think it is a great place to be AF in as there is so much to do. I wish you success, keep up this thread! DD

[Londoner]

25 years old - weekly binger

I just feel brain dead today

Have no desire to do any of my work, I do not want to talk to anyone. I just feel like I am stuck in a haze.

Could a total of 6 beers, a shot and a single spirit mixer over 2 days be enough to lower my mood by messing up my balance?

[3June2013]

25 years old - weekly binger

Londoner I have only done one real quit but I have heard that each time you drink after you've had a good quit your hangover is harder on your body. I think your body just can't take it any more. Might be a sign for you to take this up a level? Maybe get the doctor to check you out?

[Londoner]

25 years old - weekly binger

I think I have always had a body that cannot deal with alcohol as well as others. Plus being shorter has always meant my absolute tolerance is lower than others. Hangovers have always been hard on me, lowered mood and energy etc. Binging on food as a result.

And I always look a lot more wrecked than other friends - both during and after the night.

I think, as you said June, is the time to take this up a notch. I am a better person and feel a better person sans alcohol. Hell, I even get more female attention when I'm not on the booze - but for years have been using it to cover up my shyness.

Feeling a bit perkier now. A good exercise session will sort me out later.

[sweetpea29]

25 years old - weekly binger

Londoner;1538191 wrote: I think I have always had a body that cannot deal with alcohol as well as others. Plus being shorter has always meant my absolute tolerance is lower than others. Hangovers have always been hard on me, lowered mood and energy etc. Binging on food as a result.

And I always look a lot more wrecked than other friends - both during and after the night.

I think, as you said June, is the time to take this up a notch. I am a better person and feel a better person sans alcohol. Hell, I even get more female attention when I'm not on the booze - but for years have been using it to cover up my shyness.

Feeling a bit perkier now. A good exercise session will sort me out later.

Hi Londoner Great to hear you sounding so upbeat, keep up the goodwork :goodjob:

[Neddy Merrill]

25 years old - weekly binger

Hi Londoner,

I know exactly what you mean about your mood being lowered after coming off even a few drinks. I feel as if my spirit has been ripped out from within after I have been drinking and sometimes it is so bad I have felt in such despair that suicidal thoughts have entered my head.
A friend I had, who was studying to be a doctor, reckoned it was to do with the serotonin in the brain being lowered by the alcohol. Whether that's true or not I don't really care. I just know that I am full of joy today, but that if I had taken a drink last night I would be feeling terrible. I'm not going back there. I can't take those horrible feelings any more.
Hope you feel better soon.

[Londoner]

25 years old - weekly binger

Well, I well and truly fell off the wagon at the weekend. I must admit, and I feel it will be good for me to jump on here opposed to kicking myself internally.

I went to a BBQ at the weekend, which led to a few beers. That led to a few more and I ended up playing drinking games, because of my general state of being tipsy. And that led to me partying all night on alcohol and RD's. It's funny - I had started to learn to have fun out with alcohol. My brain must have fallen into a mode where it regulates itself - sending me to where I would have gone previously when drinking heavily. This time around I did not like being there. It was not a place I would like to be if sober I though. Unfortunately I had spent ?40 and an hour in a cab to get there. So I proceeded to get drunker and drunker to almost forget where I was and to trick myself into thinking I was enjoying myself.

Felt really bad yesterday. Like emotionally. Thought what is the point in all of this? But I know that is what drinking does to you.

I knew this would happen deep down, as I had allowed myself a beer or two on a couple of occasions, as said before. This signals to me that it is okay to have a beer or two, which eventually means it will be okay to get stupidly drunk.

So day 0 again. As long as I learn from this again, I will not be upset. Just feel a lot of progress on improving my life has been wasted yesterday. I was moving forward in the right direction with self improvement, and I have just gone and set myself back 8 weeks, just like that. I feel I lived a lie this weekend. It was not the real me there, out and about. I gained absolutely nothing from it. I only lost this weekend.

Annoyed. Yes. I just want to get back to where I was before.

Things I need to do this time:

- stop drinking 100%. Not even just a cheeky pint with a friend.
- stop using food as a comforter or a dopamine hit source.
- keep working out and get a regular sleeping pattern in - as in go to bed and awake at the same time EVERY day.
- keep working at socialising.
- get more nutrient dense food down me.

[YouKayBee]

25 years old - weekly binger

Londoner;1542842 wrote: Well, I well and truly fell off the wagon at the weekend. I must admit, and I feel it will be good for me to jump on here opposed to kicking myself internally.

I went to a BBQ at the weekend, which led to a few beers. That led to a few more and I ended up playing drinking games, because of my general state of being tipsy. And that led to me partying all night on alcohol and RD's. It's funny - I had started to learn to have fun out with alcohol. My brain must have fallen into a mode where it regulates itself - sending me to where I would have gone previously when drinking heavily. This time around I did not like being there. It was not a place I would like to be if sober I though. Unfortunately I had spent ?40 and an hour in a cab to get there. So I proceeded to get drunker and drunker to almost forget where I was and to trick myself into thinking I was enjoying myself.

Felt really bad yesterday. Like emotionally. Thought what is the point in all of this? But I know that is what drinking does to you.

I knew this would happen deep down, as I had allowed myself a beer or two on a couple of occasions, as said before. This signals to me that it is okay to have a beer or two, which eventually means it will be okay to get stupidly drunk.

So day 0 again. As long as I learn from this again, I will not be upset. Just feel a lot of progress on improving my life has been wasted yesterday. I was moving forward in the right direction with self improvement, and I have just gone and set myself back 8 weeks, just like that. I feel I lived a lie this weekend. It was not the real me there, out and about. I gained absolutely nothing from it. I only lost this weekend.

Annoyed. Yes. I just want to get back to where I was before.

Things I need to do this time:

- stop drinking 100%. Not even just a cheeky pint with a friend.
- stop using food as a comforter or a dopamine hit source.
- keep working out and get a regular sleeping pattern in - as in go to bed and awake at the same time EVERY day.
- keep working at socialising.
- get more nutrient dense food down me.

You might find it useful to avoid drinking-type social events for a while. I actually found staying home for a while and just not going out helped me avoid dangerous situations where I may have been tempted to drink(and as you say we all know deep in our hearts, that we do know when these are likely to be)Another tip which you may or may not be aware of is always have an escape plan so if the drinking thoughts get too much, you can take yourself to a safe place which could be home, a sober friend's house, or even an AA meeting. This last one, doesn't matter if you aren't going to use their system but they are in most towns, and can provide a safe haven with other people who aren't drinking.

[Londoner]

25 years old - weekly binger

Thanks blonde. Taken on board. Any support really means a lot.

Does anyone feel better socially the longer they go without alcohol? A beer or two makes more me anxious and less social, and I believe that is how I end up binging.

So all or nothing for me.

[YouKayBee]

25 years old - weekly binger

Londoner;1543185 wrote: Thanks blonde. Taken on board. Any support really means a lot.

Does anyone feel better socially the longer they go without alcohol? A beer or two makes more me anxious and less social, and I believe that is how I end up binging.

So all or nothing for me.

Londoner

I didn't get this thing under control until another ten years down the line from where you are now. In that time I became a social outcast - well not unless I was with other alcoholics and believe me that wasn't very nice.

What happened was I'd think I was having a good time, but would almost always end up binging. In the end my friends stopped inviting me out, I was just a liability. Towards the end I drank with other active alcoholics(who believe me are not nice and not to be trusted!), and when that became too much for me I drank alone at home.

Yeah loads of time I was told I was young, deserved to go out etc. I've learned I can be relaxed in social situations, in fact I'm much better, more relaxed and of course without the idiotic behaviour. It's just learning a new pattern of behaviour, that is all.

Anyone who says it's a pity I don't drink, go on relax I say to myself "I was going to die through alcohol, and I know I am not a nice person with it" Sometimes I actually say that out loud. Anyone who cares will not pressure you to drink. My friends know where I've been and think it's great I no longer drink.

One other thing that happens is your friends may change - either you no longer hang out with heavy drinkers, or they slow down too. Like attracts like.

[Londoner]

25 years old - weekly binger

Ukblonde;1543190 wrote: Londoner

Yeah loads of time I was told I was young, deserved to go out etc. I've learned I can be relaxed in social situations, in fact I'm much better, more relaxed and of course without the idiotic behaviour. It's just learning a new pattern of behaviour, that is all.

That's what I keep hearing from so many people. "You need to do it". "You deserve it". Those are the worst comments IMO - they neg at you bit by bit and your brain can believe it.

Ukblonde;1543190 wrote:
One other thing that happens is your friends may change - either you no longer hang out with heavy drinkers, or they slow down too. Like attracts like.

I've noticed this already. I was avoiding certain people. I have friends, and they are good friends, who laugh at me when I say I will not drink for x amount of time. I've said it too many times and never gone through.

I feel more lonely when I drink. I bottle up any issues and don't want to talk to anyone really - friends or family.

25 now - I want to be a successful, happy person by the time I'm 30. Alcohol is not going to let me do this.

How long AF are you blonde? I really appreciate the help and kind words, as said.

[YouKayBee]

25 years old - weekly binger

Londoner;1543201 wrote: That's what I keep hearing from so many people. "You need to do it". "You deserve it". Those are the worst comments IMO - they neg at you bit by bit and your brain can believe it.



I've noticed this already. I was avoiding certain people. I have friends, and they are good friends, who laugh at me when I say I will not drink for x amount of time. I've said it too many times and never gone through.

I feel more lonely when I drink. I bottle up any issues and don't want to talk to anyone really - friends or family.

25 now - I want to be a successful, happy person by the time I'm 30. Alcohol is not going to let me do this.

How long AF are you blonde? I really appreciate the help and kind words, as said.

Londoner

That's a difficult question to answer.

I've been free of dependency on alcohol/free from problems with it for 2 years now. I also had a couple of 5 month stints AF under my belt previously but the method which freed me didn't involve abstenance - it involved drinking on a medication which I responded very well to and took away my issues with it. So I considered myself in 'recovery' from that point. The result of the technique I used was that you drink like a normal person however it was making me feel a bit rubbish, and I realised I was only drinking 'because I could'. I am coming to the next part of my recovery and I decided to go AF 22 days ago. Because I have no cravings or drive to drink thanks to the medication I used - which by the way if you are AF you don't actually require any longer, it's been fairly easy however I have found myself a bit rusty on the old turning down drinks thing.

Your story appeals to me, in fact it scares me because it sounds so similar to myself except I wasted many years in denial. My late 20s were taken from me thanks to alcohol and I also started getting into trouble - trouble which I am now having to explain and reface in order to get a second chance. I got into a lot of life threatening situations and am lucky to be alive.

If you carry on I'd bet it'll happen to you. I also used to drink to 'tell' people things, except it would all come out wrong, and I'd be quite horrible with it. In sobriety I've had to learn how to tell people things without alcohol, I'm not quite there yet although I've had 60 hours of therapy!I also binge eat at times and am working on trying to recognise my feelings better.

I could punch people who say you deserve a drink, and I know of alcoholics who used justification this themselves - they work hard for 3 or 4 days then drink themselves silly for 3 days a week. Yeah to the point where they have massive stomach ulcers, but still carry on. Alcohol is a poison, so why the treat?and for an alcoholic alcohol is truly deadly.

I've also done the drugs thing too, and that's a massive legal risk which can really affect your future. Drug related offences tend to be one of those things that are considered a high 'risk'.

I'm not a floury poster, not my style but I do care and I do feel very strongly about this.

[Londoner]

25 years old - weekly binger

Blonde - everything you have said really hits home. The flowery approach does nothing for me - I need the hit the truth hard facts. Beating around the bush has done nothing in the past, I need to approach the real issues now. Why do I drink? What has drinking done to me? What will it do to me?

Drinking has always been a way to get over social anxiety in clubs & bars, but has become far more than that. It has been something to joke over. It has probably reinforced social anxiety - as I found by giving up for 5 weeks I was actually approaching MORE social situations sober and in a far better mindset.

What has it done to me? Wasted days of my life and too much money. It has let onto RD usage on nights out. It has closed me off from friends and family.

What will it do? It will ruin my chance in life and ruin my health.

It's amazing, this is all from a once weekly binge. I always tried to drink and keep up with the big boys. It was an alpha thing to do. Drink big and do stupid things. Now it has got to a stage where I am hitting clubs by myself in a drunken state, just to carry out more and more. I'm going places I would not go if I was sober.

I know I am doing a lot of rambling. But it really helps to see it on the page in front of me.

Spirituality is something I am trying to learn more about - and being AF was helping that. Today I feel brain foggy. I can't be bothered to workout. I am acting out to look happy to others outside of the home. At home I am a misery today.

Once again, thanks for the words. They do mean a lot to know someone is listening and on the same wavelength.