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A man who's decided he can't do this alone

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    A man who's decided he can't do this alone

    Hello all,
    I have been lurking here for 3+ years, and decided it is time to post. I am an 'engineer' and thus supposedly logical, but I a drink when shouldn't, and I would love to eliminate AL from my existence. I have been cooking a boeuf bourguignon stew for the last 22 hours (mostly marinating time), and now I drank too much wine to even enjoy it. Aarg! I hate AL yet ...

    I have a few tablets of antabuse, and want to begin taking them as I know it is exactly what I need - yet I am unable to - still hoping I can drink normally. I now know I am sure that I can't - yet I still am afraid to take the pill. TTDP! Please help me do it - I want to but I have been unable to do it for 11 months now.

    I am also petrified of where to get Antabuse wen my small supply is out - overseas internet companies I guess. I tried an experiment on my selff-paid Blue Cross insurance at the renewal, and I clicked on the button that sai I'd been prescribed antabuse, and my rate tripled! If any one can comment on this, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Thank you for listening!

    #2
    A man who's decided he can't do this alone

    Welcome MLB, there are wonderful people here who will point in the right direction for information, tools and support! You will feel better, you have made a fantastic decision!!
    Don't be frightened, why can't you speak with your own doctor? Its an illness, you shouldn't be ashamed, I went and saw my doctor and the medication I am on has been the best thing I ever did, I wish I had of done it sooner!
    I look forward to reading more about you, you have found the right place to get help!

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      #3
      A man who's decided he can't do this alone

      Thank you so much for your response. I'm afraid to speak to my doctor because I'm sure it will make my insurance rates go up like crazy - I can't have this on my permanent medical record.

      Am I wrong about that?

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        #4
        A man who's decided he can't do this alone

        Only you can decide what's right for you. I also did not want this on my record, so I spoke to my doctor "off the record" so he would know what was going on.

        Online pharmacies like River and Gold Pharma are how I got my antabuse.
        Well it's all right now. I've learned my lesson well. You see you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself.

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          #5
          A man who's decided he can't do this alone

          Thank you Siren. I bought 5 weeks of Naltrexone from allDayChemist.com and they were good, but I had to verbally give my checking account number, and then it took 3 weeks for delivery. I'm afraid, in the end, Nal gives me an excuse to drink- "Hey - I took my Nal an hour ago - lets go ..." I did get an initial Honeymoon" - - it was awesome - I thought "I could drink normally as long as I took my Nal".
          After a few days, I ended up drinking 1- 2 bottles of wine by myself, even after taking the NAL. To be fair, I don't think I gave the Sinclair Method a fair chance. I just think for me antabuse and abstinence is best. [I] see success all around me, but my drinking keeps me isolated and alone.

          Please, though - I think Naltrexone can help a lot of people - I want to state that here. But for me, I sometimes would take it only 40 - 50 minutes before drinking. Don't do that - give it a full hour.

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            #6
            A man who's decided he can't do this alone

            Oh Siren - can you "seriously speak to your doctor "off the record" and get a prescription? If so, then that is he answer to all of my fears.

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              #7
              A man who's decided he can't do this alone

              MakeLifeBetter;1523258 wrote: Oh Siren - can you "seriously speak to your doctor "off the record" and get a prescription? If so, then that is he answer to all of my fears.
              I don't think I implied that, because there would be a record at my pharmacy. No, I ordered th AB from River (no prescription) then let my MD know I was taking it. I wanted him to know so he could look at my blood work.
              Well it's all right now. I've learned my lesson well. You see you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself.

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                #8
                A man who's decided he can't do this alone

                I was embarrassed but I'm in Australia so insurance may be different here, I was always stressing about what I was doing to my body by drinking so much and I hate that they shame us into raising the cost of insurance when all we are trying to do is reach out for help.
                Try to speak to a doctor, it could help you, I know I walked away with hope, I won't lie, every day is a struggle but it's getting easier and I realise that life is pretty awesome without a hangover!!

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                  #9
                  A man who's decided he can't do this alone

                  Not sure about all that insurance stuff, I live in Canada, it's not an issue (far as I know). But have you tried it alone? Have you tried the holistic approach? I found ridiculous amounts of sugar got me through (still is, really).
                  Newbies Nest
                  Toolbox
                  My accountability thread

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                    #10
                    A man who's decided he can't do this alone

                    Why don't you want it on your record? You have an illness and are seeking a solution. You are being proactive and taking charge of your life. AB is all over my record...if it ever came up I would stand proud and say "yes...I took care of a problem"...hiding your prescription just reinforces the shame...and no, it does not increase your insurance rate.
                    :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

                    Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

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                      #11
                      A man who's decided he can't do this alone

                      You are absolutely right, K9. Thanks for that. Today is my day 1. It is one of dozens of other day ones, but this is the first time I ever told any one and I am going to post here daily to keep me accountable. I have not taken the AntaBuse yet, as I want to be sure all the AL is out of my system first - but there is no chance I will drink. I've gotten rid of all AL in the house. I will, no doubt have sweats tonight, but I went for a 3-mile run (first time in a while) which usually helps me with that. I was thinking while I was running how unbelievably irresponsible and selfish it is that I drink the way I do. I don't want that anymore - I want to be a man of character and I am far from that these days - I am irresponsible with AL. I drink because I like the buzz, pure and simple and I almost always drink too much - pure selfishness. I want it to stop. I am going to use all the wonderful success stories on this site and emulate my own version of success. Just finally posting last night makes me feel that I have turned a corner - no more trying to moderate. I want to feel good again - it has been so long I think I've actually forgotten what it is like.

                      To those who replied to me last night, thank you!

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                        #12
                        A man who's decided he can't do this alone

                        Dear Make Life Better,
                        so glad to see that you have found MWO. You also might want to check out the newbies nest -- there are lots of people in early stages of becoming AF. You have made a great decision and we are rooting for you.
                        Free at Last
                        "What you seek is seeking you." -- Rumi

                        Highly recommend this video
                        http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

                        July 19, 2013 -- the beginning of being Free at Last

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                          #13
                          A man who's decided he can't do this alone

                          Thank you Free! Day 2 for me. I slept like a rock last night, but tonight I think is going to be tough. Only minor sweats - the exercise really does help with that. Felt OK today, but had a "buzzy head - fuzzy thinking - occasional headaches" kind of a day.

                          Wishing you all the best.

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                            #14
                            A man who's decided he can't do this alone

                            MakeLifeBetter your symptoms will subside. And they're worth it right? Congratulations on taking the first step! You will never regret it. I miss the buzz too sometimes but mostly I like being clear headed and conscious!
                            Newbies Nest
                            Toolbox
                            My accountability thread

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                              #15
                              A man who's decided he can't do this alone

                              MLB: I am starting the AF life again today. Today is my Day 1. I had over 40 consecutive days in February and march and then allowed my belief that I really could moderate get the best of me. Perhaps you Andy can be buddies on this ride. I feel the same way about wanting to be a better person. I felt so much better about myself when I wasn't drinking and so much more in control of my life. I hate this feeling of no control and total helplessness over something so silly. When I wasn't drinking I couldn't believe how easy it really was not to drink. I promised myself that I never wanted to have to start over....yet here I am again! I did not try Antabuse the last time. Just Kudzu and vitamins which I thought really helped. I think I am going to stick with that route but let's try to start this journey together. You have a few days on me but I will catch up


                              4the kids
                              4the kids:l

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