June 20th, last Thursday, was the biggest wake-up call that unfortunately I needed. I'm currently in a 3 year relationship with the love of my life, and I almost threw all of that away. Whenever I drink, I drink to the point that I pass out. I cannot just have one. This addiction of mine is what led me into a great deal of trouble in downtown Detroit on Thursday night. What started as a fun night out with my boyfriend, and my three friends, ended in a nightmare. Of course, before I even left the house, I started drinking. All through the ball game, and after at the bar. That's when I decided to ditch my boyfriend at the casino and hit the strip club. Once entering the strip club, I hardly remember anything from there. What I know though is that one my friends and I left the club and ended up back at a Holiday Inn with a 47 year old man, "to party more." (my friend remembered this detail). I know that he assaulted me and unfortunately I set the table for him to dine at. I take blame for allowing myself to black out like that. The next day I was bleeding from my private areas, and it terrifies me to even imagine what went on in that hotel room. The fact that my alcoholic addiction drove me to the point of putting myself in danger, disgusts me. I am so ashamed. So ashamed. It's horrible to say, but this is the wake-up call that I needed. Flash forward 5 days, and I am struggling to not "have a beer." It also does not help that I am a bartender....
If you're wondering, I immediately fessed up to my boyfriend. He is having a difficult time separating the thought from his mind. We are working very hard to progress from this incident and he is very supportive towards my efforts to sober up. By the way, I'm also on a high prescription of Wellbutrin + Paxil, therefore when I drink I am dancing with death. It's so hard to imagine socializing without a beer. Especially when I crown myself as the "Craft Beer Princess."
I'm more than willing to join this community, and I hope to be welcomed with open arms. In a world where my parents have a kegerator in their home, and I have full access to a bar at work, I am growing more and more depressed about attempts to live my life sober.
Thank you for reading.
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