Horrified

[Nursie]

I am horrified at myself. I had so much sober time and I blew it. I drank so much that I probably could have overdosed. I am shaking today. Shaking with shame, shaking with a hangover, and shaking in horror at myself.

[JackDanielsGirl]

Horrified

Oh Nursie,

don't be so hard on yourself. Ok you blew it, today is a new day.

We have been here before, so we know to rest, drink lots of water, I used Benadryl to help with the anxiety. It did not stop it but it did knock the edge off.

Tomorrow will be a better day. Make a plan, stick to it, read and post and then read some more. You can do this.

Sending hugs and prayers your way,
JDG

[RunningCourage]

Horrified

Hey Nursie :hallo:
JDJ is right - DONT beat yourself up. Just move on.

1. If you can, try and work out the trigger for it: was it deliberate, planned, or a spur of the moment thing?

2. Understanding 1. can you look to see how if that was to ever happen again you might prevent that?

3. CONGRATULATE yourself on having 3+ months sober. THAT is no mean feat and is to be applauded.

4. Get the hardest part over and done with: the first day sober. Get day 1 under your belt and get the rhythm of sobriety back.

5. KNOW that you will be all the wiser for it.

:l
RC

[Sake123]

Horrified

I'm new here so I don't have a whole lot of advice but wanted to let you know that I am sorry you're feeling so awful today. It is a good reminder that each of us are one drink away from being on our way to drunk and miserable. I hope that you take care of yourself today...be kind but try to make some notes on how you feel so next time you feel close to relapse you can remember how you feel today and how it's not worth it. Maybe work on starting a liver detox today. Lots of fluid...good vitamins...REST!! Let go of the shame...this is an evil affliction to which no one is immune. We can only take one day at a time.

[sweetpea29]

Horrified

Nursie;1526835 wrote: I am horrified at myself. I had so much sober time and I blew it. I drank so much that I probably could have overdosed. I am shaking today. Shaking with shame, shaking with a hangover, and shaking in horror at myself.

Ah Nursie:l

So sorry to hear this. As others have said don't try beat yourself up, rest, be kind to yourself- mind and body. You can do it. Can you use that horror and shame to your advantage?-- examine what happened and what you can do to prevent it happen again.

Take care and stay close:l

EDIT- meant to say well done to you for coming back here and posting xx

[NoSugar]

Horrified

Dear Nursie,

If you go back and read what you've written over the last few months, you'll know that an AF life is the right one for you. You've been happy and have worked on some things concerning your brother's death and really, just been an inspiration to all of us. :l

But none of us are perfect. You made a mistake. It sounds like you feel so bad about this in so many ways that you will always remember it. That will help you never do it again. This episode does not take away all you've accomplished. It is the outlier - not your new normal.

Come on back, Nursie, and keep posting daily. It is a great tool for staying where we want to be.

Love, NS

[mylife]

Horrified

Hi Nursie,

Please don't beat yourself up - it will only make you feel worse than you do already, and we all know how bad you feel aready.

Just focus on putting one foot in front of the other and make this day one for the rest of your Alcohol Free life.

I felt the same way over a month ago and I remembered Byrdie's tagline - "All you gotta do is get through this day" and I did. I never want to be there again and you don't have to either.

Sending you peace and strength. :l:h

[witts end]

Horrified

Hi! Nurse sorry about your relapse but it just shows your human and everyone has given you some good advise and it's important that you keep coming back and post

[Byrdlady]

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Hey Nursie, I wish I could say I got this on the first, second, or even third try....it took me a dam year to make it stick! More sympathetic I could not be.....all I know is that it WILL stick! Thinking of you and holding you close in my thoughts. All it takes is a couple good AF days and you'll be right as rain....we are right beside you. Byrdie

[little beagle]

Horrified

We are all fighting the same fight. I think addiction is an illness of the soul. We will have setbacks as in any physical illness. Just keep fighting. We are all on you side in this fight. :l

[Unwasted]

Horrified

I hate the beast, Nursie. We're all behind you and sending support. :lilheart:

[jenniech]

Horrified

Nursie please be kind to yourself. You deserve it!! I mean, you drank. Ok. But more importantly, you came back to MWO and was HONEST about it. That is HUGE!! Did you throw in the towel and give up because of one stupid setback? NO!! So congrats on having the courage to be honest with yourself. That is half the battle!!

I like what runningcourage said: get back into the rhythm of sobriety....we are hear for you!!:l

[Kradle123]

Horrified

Ditto everyone sweet Nursie :l:h
Beagle's right: it is a disease of our soul and there are bound to be bumps alone the way. Tomorrow try to see today as a huge favor- one obstacle down and closer to total freedom!

Walking right alongside you...

[Nursie]

Horrified

Thank you everyone.
I'm definitely humbled to the bone.
I am taking baby steps and moving forward.
I will not let Al win!

[witts end]

Horrified

good for you don't let it win
well done