Upcoming vacation gitters!

[Sake123]

The family is going on vacation...Oregon coast beach house. I am already feeling like I'm missing out! All I can think about is the walks on the beach without a drink! I know it's pathetic but it is what I'm thinking about. I have never been a beer drinker but have been thinking...oh, a nice cold beer on the beach, what could be better. Or, I'll buy one 6 pack and have one per evening. LOL!! What the hell is wrong with me???

Today hits the one week mark for me and I'm already complaining. I know it's supposed to get easier. God, I pray it gets easier! Because right now my addiction has a VERY loud voice in my head that does not want to shut the hell up!!!

By the way, I have not gone a whole week sober in I don't even know how many years. I would have to guess at least 15 years!! I wonder if I'll make it 2!!

[Struggles 106]

Upcoming vacation gitters!

Hey Sake

At one week sober a vacation situation will be trying. Not to be negative but that's what I think.
Maybe some quiet reflection in the morning,each day,with a dialogue with yourself about why you are not drinking, what will happen if you do etc etc. You could try to imagine how bad you will feel.

Just a suggestion. It's worked for me sometimes. If it was me, I'd prefer not to be around drinking. Sometimes that isn't possible, and it can be easier if the drinkers that are around are not crazy drinkers like I was.

Hang in there!

[NoSugar]

Upcoming vacation gitters!

Sake123;1527042 wrote:
By the way, I have not gone a whole week sober in I don't even know how many years. I would have to guess at least 15 years!! I wonder if I'll make it 2!!

Hi, Sake

I think the words you've chosen suggest that you may not be committed to this new way of living yet. Whether you drink is entirely up to you. It is your choice.

Once you've decided that you no longer drink alcohol, you don't have to wonder at all about what you are going to do. You don't have to have that raging internal debate. You don't have to try to limit your intake. You don't have to hide what you are drinking. You don't have to wake up feeling too awful to enjoy your beach vacation. You don't have to once again regret that alcohol is in running and ruining your life. You won't have to wonder how you are ever going to regain control.

You are FREE once you make that choice .

[paulywogg]

Upcoming vacation gitters!

hi sake,im with you this weekend were going to my hometown for a visit and all my family are huge drinkers! my brothers are in their 20's so they party hard,my mom and dad drink daily,im very scared to go actually,i dont want to drink at all im just scared of being irritable and feeling im missing out,i avoid situations where people are drinking,but i cant avoid my family im a little freaked out

[Samstone]

Upcoming vacation gitters!

Sake
I relate to this problem totally. Every function I've done in the past 10 or so years has been with a drink in hand. And so far I've managed to go to 2 fiddle festivals and 1 wedding without boozing...
1) I took plenty of carbonated water
2) I took a supply of L-Glutamine and used it when the urge hit.
3) had a burning desire to "make it without". I talked to a lot of people who were feeling no pain but didn't really care if you drank or not.

I think that has become a key element for me... ultimately the choice, it is ok to be sober among friends and family if i want to be. Frankly, my family is glad I've stopped.

All this is not to say that it is just that easy, some days I still wanna, so far I ain't, as it were.
I still another dang wedding to go to but I nominated myself designated driver.

Good luck to you and enjoy the beach!

Pauly
were my father still alive I'd have the same problem.. no hand could be void of a drink, and a strong one at that. Hope you can persevere.

SS

[witts end]

Upcoming vacation gitters!

Sake I feel for you and agree it may be to soon and it is your choice which ever way you go hopefully you choose af you may want to look into non alcohol drinks and take them with you instead of the beer have a claytons instead

[Byrdlady]

Upcoming vacation gitters!

Sake, remember, Hope is not a strategy. It will take a strong plan. Get your excuse ready and use it. If you are an ALK like I am, you must protect your quit with all you've got. Whenever I find myself romanticizing AL, I remember the actual way I drank....in desperate gulps from a box of wine hidden in my closet. I didn't ever sit and savor the flavor, all I could think about was my next drink. Please try to enjoy the company of the people you are with, and the surroundings. It's not what's in your glass that makes the moment special. The only memories that AL brings are guilt/shame/remorse. If we could have that one drink on the beach with family, we wouldn't be here on this forum. Don't let the hype get to you...stay in reality. Sometimes it's hard to be the only one not drinking at a function, but I've done it many times...what other people think doesn't matter on this subject. It's non negotiable. Please read the snippet I posted in the nest on Monday about Addict thinking....I'll go find it and repost it for you. If this is the first 7 days you've had in 15 years, please don't think that you can just pick right back up on Monday and be back on your way. If we could do that, we wouldn't be here either. There are many reasons we are here...but our goal is the same: We have to get AL out of our lives or it's going to kill us.
Is there any way to postpone this trip? All I can say is protect your quit like a pot of gold!! I'll go find that post for you.....Byrdie

[Byrdlady]

Upcoming vacation gitters!

Addiction Head

Originally Posted by Sober Visitor

JUNKIE THINKING: One drink won't hurt.
RESPONSE: One drink will always hurt me, and it always will because I'm not a social drinker. One sip and I'll be drinking compulsively again.

JUNKIE THINKING: I only want one.
RESPONSE: I have never wanted only one. In fact, I want 5 or 10 or 15 every day. I want them all.

JUNKIE THINKING: I?ll just be a social drinker.
RESPONSE: I?m a chronic, compulsive drinker, and once I drink one I?ll quickly be thinking about the next one. Social drinkers can take it or leave it. That?s not me.

JUNKIE THINKING: I'm doing so well, one won't hurt me now.
RESPONSE: The only reason I'm doing so well is because I haven't taken the first one. Yet once I do, I won't be doing well anymore, I'll be drinking again.

JUNKIE THINKING: I'll just stop again.
RESPONSE: Sounds easy, but who am I trying to kid? Look how long it took me to stop this time? And once I start, how long will it take before I get sick enough to face withdrawal again? In fact, when I'm back in the grip of compulsion, what guarantee do I have that I'll ever be able to stop again?

JUNKIE THINKING: If I slip, I'll keep trying.
RESPONSE: If I think I can get away with one little "slip" now, I'll think I can get away with another little slip later on.

JUNKIE THINKING: I need one to get me through this withdrawal.
RESPONSE: Drinking will not get me through the discomfort of not drinking. It will only get me back to drinking. One sip stops the process of withdrawal and I'll have to go through it all over again.

JUNKIE THINKING: I miss drinking right now.
RESPONSE: Of course I miss something I've been doing every day for most of my life. But do I miss the pain of drinking right now? Do I miss the worry, the embarrassment? I'd rather be an ex-drinker with an occasional desire to drink, than a drinker with a constant desire to stop doing it.

JUNKIE THINKING: I really need to drink now. I'm so upset.
RESPONSE: Drinking is not going to fix anything. I'll still be upset; I'll just be an upset drunk. I never have to have a drink. Drinking alcohol is not a need, it's a want. Once the crisis is over, I'll be relieved and grateful I'm still not drinking.

JUNKIE THINKING: I don't care.
RESPONSE: WHAT IS IT EXACTLY THAT I THINK I DON'T CARE ABOUT? Can I truthfully say I don't care about my pain? I don't care about having a hangover in the morning? I don't care about what I'm doing to my liver, lungs, kidney, and heart? I don?t care about all the people I?ve hurt. No, I care about these things very much. That's why I stopped drinking in the first place.

JUNKIE THINKING: What difference does it make, anyway?
RESPONSE: It makes a difference in the way I live, the way my heart beats, the way I feel about myself. It makes a tremendous difference in every aspect of my physical and emotional health.

__________________

[Sake123]

Upcoming vacation gitters!

These are great tools and food for thought to take along on my trip. I am luckier than some, I am only going with my husband and daughter. He's not a drinker so no worries there! I am bringing all kinds of good things to drink..Tonics, teas, maybe even some virgin bloody mary mix. It's going to be just fine!! I'm brining my tools, my desire and my willingness to try something new. Life sober!! Birdlady(spelling) thank you for your post...just love it! Thanks to each of you for your feedback. And I hope you all have a strong and wonderful 4th!!

JUNKIE THINKING: I miss drinking right now.
RESPONSE: Of course I miss something I've been doing every day for most of my life. But do I miss the pain of drinking right now? Do I miss the worry, the embarrassment? I'd rather be an ex-drinker with an occasional desire to drink, than a drinker with a constant desire to stop doing it.

[mylife]

Upcoming vacation gitters!

Sake - of course the above posts are full of wisdom and I've permalinked Byrdies list!! It's great - thanks Byrdie!!

I've been on a couple of sober vacations in the last couple years and also had a couple sober New Years Eves and other big events on my journey to become Alcohol Free. What I found is that the vacation was so much better without AL - I had so much more fun NOT drinking - that I think if I could somehow drink again I would choose NOT to for special events as they're so much better without it! I think this realization has made me wonder why I would drink ever then...???

Let this trip be your experiment and see how it goes. I also love a cold beer at the beach - but to me the AF beer tastes just as good - I know some choose not to have even that - but for me they've been a good substitute when I'm really craving a cold beer.

Good luck with your vacation - make it the best one yet!

[3June2013]

Upcoming vacation gitters!

Sake123;1527042 wrote: The family is going on vacation...Oregon coast beach house. I am already feeling like I'm missing out! All I can think about is the walks on the beach without a drink! I know it's pathetic but it is what I'm thinking about. I have never been a beer drinker but have been thinking...oh, a nice cold beer on the beach, what could be better. Or, I'll buy one 6 pack and have one per evening. LOL!! What the hell is wrong with me???

Sake there's nothing wrong with you. We all battle the " I can drink in moderation" argument at some point. But it's so much easier to just not. No battle, no negotiation, no remorse when one becomes six. Imagine waking up early with no hangover imagine walking on the beach with a good cup of coffee. Imagine watching the sunset with a glass of sparkling juice and fizzy water or a virgin pi?a colada or a smoothie! Eat ice cream if it helps. Spend time with your family instead of with AL.

Today hits the one week mark for me and I'm already complaining. I know it's supposed to get easier. God, I pray it gets easier! Because right now my addiction has a VERY loud voice in my head that does not want to shut the hell up!!!

And you need to shout back. Have you talked to your husband and daughter about your concerns? I bet they'd love to help!

By the way, I have not gone a whole week sober in I don't even know how many years. I would have to guess at least 15 years!! I wonder if I'll make it 2!!

You will make it if you decide right now that this is your choice. There is no wondering about it if you look at it that way. The fear is the worst, but once you send AL packing the feeling of being in control is the best.

[Sake123]

Upcoming vacation gitters!

Just checking in. I did a mix of ok and not so good while on vacation. The last 3 days I drank wine. 2 glasses the first day. 3 glasses the next 2. I have come to realize that anxiety is really a big trigger for me. I just want to feel relaxed. So I'm working hard to find other ways to get into that state. The last couple of nights I really had to take things to make me sleepy as to not crave alcohol. But last night I took too much and felt groggy and hung over this morning. I'm mixing a sleepy time tea with a valerian/melatonin supplement and a liquid formula from my doctor. I will adjust the dosage so I'm sleepy but not DEAD the next day! LOL! So today marks day 3 AF. One of my very best friends is coming to town this weekend and is a HUGE drinker. My plan is to have tonics with lemon ready to go. I will prepare my drinks while they are not in the kitchen. That way they really will be none the wiser. The ironic part is my friend is having very bad liver trouble aka Fatty and Compromised as she put it. I would like to talk with her but know all too well that no one wants to talk about quitting drinking until their ready. So I won't waste my time...I just hope that she comes around to this thinking before it's too late.

I know for me that I just need to adjust my thinking. I spent 8 years clean and sober and had so much fun during that time. This is not a punishment but rather a release from bondage...allowing me to be present and happy in my own life!

[Unwasted]

Upcoming vacation gitters!

Sake, it's great that you've gotten back on track, but I sure think you should talk to your friend. I think a lot of people are worried about their drinking but have no idea how to deal with it. Maybe you could be an inspriation to her?? I'm sure you know best, but I would have a hard time not bringing up the subject with someone I knew had liver problems!

[3June2013]

Upcoming vacation gitters!

sake welcome back! Have you thought about telling your friends you've quit drinking? Just wondering if that might make it easier than sneaking?

[paulywogg]

Upcoming vacation gitters!

sake,i know how you feel with your friend coming,its hard,but you can do it! when i went to visit my family they wanted me to drink,i just told them i was on allergy meds and couldnt drink on it,a nice visit with your friend sober that youll remember is way better than getting messed up anyday,try to plan some fun non-al involved activities,scary she still drinks knowing her liver is messed up,scary cuz even with a healthy liver we never know if a binge will be our last,i wish you strength this weekend