Accountability Thread

[sparkles143]

I made it through the 4th and feel really good about it! But the last couple days have been really rough because I realize how much my husband and I associate drinking with everything not related to work and our responsibilities for our kids...ie getting them to sports practices etc. we both said we think about drinking a lot! Oh my gosh I do hope this feeling starts to subside and its not always nagging at me. Yesterday was clear and productive, took kids to parade, had lunch, went shopping for bathing suits, took a nap, had dinner and went to Fireworks and them home. But I was pretty quiet. Becoming more aware of this beast nagging at me. Realizing more and more I have unresolved thoughts fears and issues I have to work through. I even have to gently refrain from hanging out with the people I normally do! They were trying to get me to come over all week... We are neighbors I can walk. I didn't go. Instead went with kids to mall( do I see a shopping pattern?) we went to nearby water park this week with AF friends the community pool the movies, parade and lunch with AF friends. Glad I have those too makes it easier.
I had a previous post called Feeling Fab. I felt much more Fab on day 3 then I do 8 because I think the real work is beginning, but I have to do it. I at least have to get to the point where I can test having one drink at dinner with Family on a special occasion that doesn't lead to an all out rockstar style party. I don't know if thats even possible. This week my kids are going camping with their Dad and his Family Tues through Saturday. I have to keep busy. I work from 8 to 2 ( kids school schedule) and then since they won't be home I need to plan things to keep me busy. Possibly put in extra hours at the office, swim at the Y, start painting our kitchen. I have to have a plan. But for today we will go to the indoor trampoline place for a couple hours and I am doing some Volunteering later for my sons Baseball League. Sounds like a pretty fab day!!
Hoping to feel more positive tomorrow! It's up to me, I control my remote control!

[3June2013]

Accountability Thread

sparkles you are doing great. The thoughts will subside, and it won't seem so all encompassing in time. But it takes time. I am gently going to suggest that you don't do that test. There is a saying "If one then why not none?". I think not hanging with your AL friends for now is a good idea. In time you will have the strength to tell them you don't drink any more. Then you might find you can still hang out with them or you might find they are boring. Go with it, you have other ways to spend your time if that happens. How is your hubby feeling? Does he come here to read at all? It might help him too.

[sparkles143]

Accountability Thread

I was thinking I need to get some time under my belt, I want the thoughts of drinking to subside. It weird it seems like drinking is a lot like people who like to eat, always talking about food thinking about where to eat what to eat and I never think about where my next meal will be or what I want, I just eat because I need too and I try to eat healthy. I just want to get to that point where i dont think about drinking. The whole thinking about eating is so much more socially acceptable. lol. I told a couple of my neighbors I hadnt had a drink in 6 days and was keeping it up...one said well then you should come have one with me !! I said NOPE! The other said she was proud of me (she recently was AF for 30 days and back to the sauce again) and didnt push. the rest are out of town for the 4th so its not an issue.
My hubby is doing well we talk about it and how good we feel. He told me this morning he feels really stressed out and he cant put his finger on it. I said it may be because usually we would release our stress by a double bottle of wine and we arent doing that. Both of us have lost a couple pounds in the past week, i may have gained it back yesterday having In and Out burger but that is a cheat that I justify as "worth it" .
He isnt one to go on to a forum like this. He would prefer to muscle through it. I LOVE having a sense of accountability, it works better for me as I guess I dont have as much discipline. I lost 25 pounds last fall because I had a health coach calling me to check in and see how I was doing on my low carb low fat diet (I gave up AL for 3 weeks then too and felt great)
I just need to go day by day, keep busy, Love up my kids, keep hoping the cycle of alcohol wont plague them like it has everyone in my Family (except my Mom) i know there is a hereditary factor there but seeing us plastered doesnt help either and they are now 11 11 and 8. OK its time to start my day, lots to do. I will check in later tonight.
thank you 3June2013 for writing to me this morning.

[3June2013]

Accountability Thread

Yes in the beginning it was all I could think of too. I pushed away the thoughts and as the days turned into weeks it lessened. If you can believe it I now have no thoughts of drinking at home. I used to drink every day. My only real challenges now are when I get into a social situation but I plan ahead for them. I am always trying out new AF drinks. My new favourite is POM pomegranate juice mixed with lemon Perrier. It's awesome!

I ate a lot in the beginning, lots of sugar cravings. I learned that it's best to just go ahead and do whatever it takes to stay AF. After a month I decided it was time to start watching my diet but at first it was more important to stay AF so ice cream and chocolate got me through it!

I'm sure your husband is feeling stressed because he is used to having AL to relax with. We need to find new methods of de-stressing now. A long walk? A bike ride? A hot tub? Camomile?

Day by day is the way, you're right. And your kids will be way better off, yes! I also have alcoholism in my family. It's a bit of nature vs nurture I think. We grew up around it and our parents used it so we learned to do the same. But that doesn't mean we can lose it!

Talk to you soon!

[NoSugar]

Accountability Thread

Hi, Sparkles

At the beginning, thinking about not drinking seemingly all the time is probably a good thing!
This is a huge task and other than meeting your personal and professional responsibilities, needs to be your top priority.

If you were a daily drinker, you have many cues that are telling you to drink. In the early days, there are constant physical reminders. Later those are mostly psychological but they're still real! Actually, it would be kind of odd if we didn't often think about the fact that we are not drinking considering how much time and effort most of us put into doing it!

That said, I felt like I was going crazy - like their were voices in my head constantly commenting on the fact that I was not drinking, that I would be drinking now if I hadn't quit, that it sure would be nice if I hadn't quit, and on and on and on. At some point, all of that settled down. Thank goodness!

I still think about the fact of my not drinking fairly often but now it is in my own voice and my thoughts are along the lines of I'm so glad I don't drink anymore, How would I have managed this meal with non drinkers if I still were drinking?, iIt is so nice not to try to drink slowly, etc.

Please just give it time and be patient with yourself - this is a big, but good, deal.

:h NS

[sparkles143]

Accountability Thread

Thank you both for sharing your experiences. My second AF weekend in a very long time Already pretty much prepped for the week too, marketing laundry some cleaning. Feeling accomplished