Finally..

[broken halo]

I went to the doctor's today, he was shocked. I had the shakes really bad. He's signed me off work and given me a course of Chlordiazipoxide. I have also opened up to family members as well, which I have never done.

I have never been one to ask for help in my life, but this week has scared me into a badly needed reality check. Has anyone got any experience of this drug? I am going to tell my story here soon, it feels safe to do so here, and I have a lot to tell. I am so scared, I have never been a pill taker. I was never afraid of pouring copious amounts of alcohol down me, but pills scare me. I can never again feel the way I have this week, I had to sign for something today and my hands shook so badly, it was so embarrassing.

I need to take my life back. I want my family to be proud of me again. I want to be proud of myself again. So this is my day one. I met my daughter earlier, I could see her concern for me. I am not drinking tonight. Bath and cups of tea, and hopefully I will get a sleep. Is anyone in such a bad place as I am? I'd be grateful to hear from you and share experiences as I battle to get better. I feel so alone. I need all the support I can get right now. Thanks for listening

[Byrdlady]

Finally..

Hey Broken Halo...congratulations on your new beginning.
It took me a year to come to the conclusion that I just couldn't drink any more regardless of the circumstance. I hit my rock bottom. My husband packed his clothes and left the house...told me to be thinking how to split our possessions. By this time, my liver readings were off, my BP high, I really didn't care if I lived or died....but that night I had to make a choice: Life without AL or Death with it. 2 and a half years later I am happy to report that all is well! Liver readings normal...OFF of 3 BP meds and an Anti depressant. My hubs and I have never been stronger. I feel really good. You can, too. I know you are scared, but trust me when I say your life is about to improve in ways you can't imagine. Self respect and hope for the future will return. Over the 3+ years I've been on this site I can tell you this...the lows that we sink to here are equally matched by the highs of being AF!! You have to sink down to the depths to appreciate what the good things in life are! So as low as you feel now, in a short amount of time, you will appreciate LIFE again! It's not as hard as you may think it's going to be! If you got thru the last 15 minutes you can get thru the next 15. Come join us in the Newbie's nest, we'll be right beside you. Hang in there! Byrdie

[JackieClaire]

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Hi there BH,
Well done you for going to the doctors and I so recognise the shaking hands thing. Bloody awful isn't it.

Had to go to google to look up Chlordiazipoxide, it's also called Librium. It will help you through the worst parts of the withdrawals. Did the Doc give you a schedule for taking them?

He's given you these to de-tox. I used diazapam (valium) in my de-toxes. Prepare yourself with some small snacks, plenty of water and to feel wiped out for a couple of days.

Of course it goes without saying don't touch a single drop of alcohol, not a good combination at all to say the least.

It's 4 years ago today I hit my rock bottom, and 4 years ago on Sunday since I started my final de-tox and I have been completely AF since.

By this time next week you'll feel absolutely fabulous. I know, I know it sounds like an awful long time at the moment, but remember when you think about how long we drank ourselves into oblivion it's a drop in the ocean.

Hang tough, hun. I'm living proof this can be done.

J x
:l

[broken halo]

Finally..

Thanks for your reply Byrdlady, your story is really inspiring. I have an admission to make, although I have been on this site for a while now, I always thought I could 'manage' my drinking. After this week that is clearly not the case, it hasn't been the case for a long time. I just read this on another site :

Your body can only process one unit of alcohol an hour. Drink a lot in a short space of time and the amount of alcohol in the blood can stop the body from working properly.

It can:
?slow down your brain functions so you lose your sense of balance.
?irritate the stomach which causes vomiting and it stops your gag reflex from working properly ? you can choke on, or inhale, your own vomit into your lungs.
?affect the nerves that control your breathing and heartbeat, it can stop both.
?dehydrate you, which can cause permanent brain damage.
?lower the body?s temperature, which can lead to hypothermia.
?lower your blood sugar levels, so you could suffer seizures.


I definitely felt off balance today, and I vomited which is very rare for me. Such a lethal poison! I really want to get sober and enjoy my life again. Thank you again for your inspiring post.

[broken halo]

Finally..

JackieClaire;1528728 wrote: Hi there BH,
Well done you for going to the doctors and I so recognise the shaking hands thing. Bloody awful isn't it.

Had to go to google to look up Chlordiazipoxide, it's also called Librium. It will help you through the worst parts of the withdrawals. Did the Doc give you a schedule for taking them?

He's given you these to de-tox. I used diazapam (valium) in my de-toxes. Prepare yourself with some small snacks, plenty of water and to feel wiped out for a couple of days.

Of course it goes without saying don't touch a single drop of alcohol, not a good combination at all to say the least.

It's 4 years ago today I hit my rock bottom, and 4 years ago on Sunday since I started my final de-tox and I have been completely AF since.

By this time next week you'll feel absolutely fabulous. I know, I know it sounds like an awful long time at the moment, but remember when you think about how long we drank ourselves into oblivion it's a drop in the ocean.

Hang tough, hun. I'm living proof this can be done.

J x
:l

Thank you so much Jackie, I did not know they were Librium, I remember my dear old Dad taking them back in the day. He was a terrible drinker, but did manage to get sober when he was around my age. Maybe I'll take after him. He never touched a drop for 25 years till he died. Even with all he had to go through, he always said life was sweet. He grew up drinking, from the age of around 13, but was never really happy till he was sober. Four years is amazing, well done!

[JackieClaire]

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broken halo;1528733 wrote: Thank you so much Jackie, I did not know they were Librium, I remember my dear old Dad taking them back in the day. He was a terrible drinker, but did manage to get sober when he was around my age. Maybe I'll take after him. He never touched a drop for 25 years till he died. Even with all he had to go through, he always said life was sweet. He grew up drinking, from the age of around 13, but was never really happy till he was sober. Four years is amazing, well done!

You are are not going to believe this but my father gave up drinking when he was about the age I was when I gave up (53) and was sober nigh on 25 years before he died.

Perhaps it's a sign.

[broken halo]

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Hey, I am definitely taking it as a sign! I am 54 in three weeks! :thanks:

[witts end]

Finally..

Broken halo
good for you have gone to thr doctor knowing that you have a problem and you have also asked everyone else for help and said what the problem is .......I think you are on the mend Just acknowledging you have a problem and it's going to be slow but just take it one day at a time that realy is the only way
and stay in touch we also need your encouragement

[spiderwoman]

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You've done the hard bit now BH by being here and acknowledging the problem. As the others have said, you will feel so much better so soon and then you begin to enjoy all the freedom never drinking brings. Its SO worth it.

Keep reading, keep posting, it really helps.

Sylv

[little beagle]

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This site is amazing. It can really change your life. Read post and follow the wise advice of the members. It has completely changed my life. It took me a little longer to feel really good, but I noticed an immediate change when I found mwo. I had hope again for the first time in a long time. I sendyou hope. :welcome:

[Darkest Diamond]

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Thinking of you right now, hope you are feeling better today and can take it easy, have some walks, watch dvds etc and eat good food. I do so understand how awful those shakes can be and frightening, but they will go after a few days and you have the Librium to fall back on if it gets too much.

[broken halo]

Finally..

Darkest Diamond;1528996 wrote: Thinking of you right now, hope you are feeling better today and can take it easy, have some walks, watch dvds etc and eat good food. I do so understand how awful those shakes can be and frightening, but they will go after a few days and you have the Librium to fall back on if it gets too much.

Thanks everyone, and you Diamond. I hope you are doing well also. I'm still a bit shaky but have managed to go to the hairdressers and get some housework done. I went to pay by card at the salon but couldn't put my pin in, just as well I had cash on me! I also picked up the Librium from the chemist but haven't taken any yet. Its a nice day, I am going to go for a good long walk. I really wanted to go to the gym but I don't feel strong enough for that yet. The support from you guys has really been a massive help. Thank you.

[witts end]

Finally..

good for you broken halo keep it up you'll get there

[pixie]

Finally..

Hi Halo

You are sounding good. I too came to this site thinking I could 'manage' my drinking, way past the point when it should have been obvious that I couldn't. But denial is a strong thing. I finally got my brain on board when it simply got too hard to continue with what I was doing. It sounds like you are there too. My best advice is to stick close to this site, keep reading and posting.

pix