Irie's accountability thread

[Irie]

I'm getting closer and closer. I get a week under my belt and then I lose it. I could not want sobriety more. The AF time is coming more and more often, so I have hope. This site helps me a lot, but once I post that I have a few days sober, when I fall down I don't want to post for a while. This time I am going to post no matter what, and maybe it will take me where I need to go. I've been at this for a few years. I'm more than ready to move on. Tomorrow will be another day one. Bear with me, this thread is my way of trying to figure out my triggers and hopefully a way out. The last time I caved it was only after the struggle brought me to tears. I am trying, and each time I fail my resolve gets stronger.

[Gardener]

Irie's accountability thread

Post on Irie - keep getting back up like you are now. I'm proud of you for coming on here and posting, you've got courage. Be seeing you around, I'm having a hard time tonight too, but so far, so good. See you later. G

[NoSugar]

Irie's accountability thread

Irie,

One thing that helped me was to commit to coming on MWO and reading and posting before I would allow myself to have a drink. Explain in your post what you are going to do and why. Even if you don't get a response, you probably will convince yourself that it is a bad choice.

All the best to you! Stay close.

:hNS

[Irie]

Irie's accountability thread

Thank you, Gardener and NoSugar. I'm a gardener and sugar doesn't pass my lips, so perhaps we are like minded. I am going to try very hard to not worry about how my posts are received. They will be for me for a while. I guess I'm a little selfish at this point.

[Buddysmom]

Irie's accountability thread

Keep Posting---

Hi Irie,

I have too gone to this site when thinking about drinking. It has saved me a few times. Even if you don't post, just read though some of the other posts and you will find encouragement and know you are not alone.

I couldn't make a week either, and finally had to go to an out patient re-hab. I have 75 days now and could not have done it by myself. Look at all your options and keep coming back!

[little beagle]

Irie's accountability thread

Irie just don't give up. I had a rough time quitting until finding mwo. I committed to reading and posting everyday at least once and it really helps seeing things in black and white. Hang in there.

[Audrey14]

Irie's accountability thread

Hi Irie!

Somehow i can relate your story to mine. When i had i slip i didn' t go back to the site, felt guilty., ashamed etc. But this time i decided to come here and post (or at least read) whatever happens.

My longest AF period (maybe in last 10 years..) was 22 days.
In the last months my cycle (which i hate) is 7, 12, 15 AF days, than binge, than AF days, binge..I am exhausted because i get very sick after detox period in which i try to do the best - food, supplements, catch up with my commitments and life
I make my plans and than i feel guilty that i have to take days off in my courses, cancel appointments etc. But the worst thing is that during the binge i get very, very depressed (because i hate myself for what i am doing!, only 1st evening with wine is nice). Yes, i am very moody person even when i don' t drink but AL kills my nerve system and self - esteem.

At least i still didn' t give up

[paulywogg]

Irie's accountability thread

post,post and post some more no matter what,ive slipped and slided all over the place and still kept posting its what were here for anyways,posting does help just to keep yourself accountable to YOURSELF,who cares what anybody else thinks,never be embarrased for trying to quit this mess!

[Irie]

Irie's accountability thread

Day 1- First off, thank you for the support. If I've learned one thing it's that I'm going to need it. Even though virtually every morning I promise myself that I am done drinking, I rarely get through the day without giving up. Sometimes I make it a couple of days or as long as a week and once 23 days. That's it. I say that only to be clear with myself that I don't have a great track record. What's different this time? I'm truly enjoying my AF days and I crave more good days. On the flip side, I am getting more and more disgusted with myself when I drink. I've also learned that it is possible to ride out a craving, so I don't give in as easily as I used to. Today I will not give in at all.

I'm away from home at a meeting, and will be returning to my hotel room tonight. The meeting is here at the hotel, so I don't even need to tempt myself at the store. I'll just order room service tonight, and log into MWO!

[Irie]

Irie's accountability thread

Safely in my hotel room - wine free! Tonight I'm having no problem not drinking. I'll take an easy day, because I know there will be some tough ones down the road. Looking forward to a good night's sleep and not having that half hungover feeling that I had today. Not bad, just enough to know it was there!

[mylife]

Irie's accountability thread

Hi Irie,

I have kept coming back as well - with longer and longer periods of being sober. I think the times I did not drink made me realize I really wanted that life more than I wanted the life I had when I was drinking...anyway, I'm up to about 45 days (I keep losing count as I stopped on an odd day) and I feel very strong in my conviction. And like you I have made myself a promise to come here and post/read BEFORE I drink and it helps me feel stronger - it really does help.

Good luck with your journey!