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    #1

    Are you kidding me?

    I went AF in March and posted daily until I made the 30 day mark. Things have been going well since- until today. Was going to the bank, actually had checks in my hand and I walked into the liquor store that is right next door by mistake. An old habit, I guess. The clerk greeted me and I said out loud "What am I doing?" I went to the bank, but the whole time I was thinking that I want to use the cash for just one small bottle of vodka. I made it home without the liquor but I am very scared that I will slip and fall.

    So it is back to posting and reading posts.
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    #2
    Are you kidding me?

    HC, that's exactly what keeps me glued in to this place. Here, take a seat next to me and we'll hold on to each other....it's dangerous out there!! Byrdie
    All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
    Tool Box
    Newbie's Nest

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      #3
      Are you kidding me?

      Thanks, Byrdlady. I am literally still shaking from fear. No, no a thousand times no. I can't go back there.
      Walking into that liquor store, seeing all those bottles...and then I almost went back.

      Comment

        #4
        Are you kidding me?

        halfway content;1530608 wrote: Thanks, Byrdlady. I am literally still shaking from fear. No, no a thousand times no. I can't go back there.
        Walking into that liquor store, seeing all those bottles...and then I almost went back.
        Hi Halfway You didn't go back and that's the main thing. Well done to you:goodjob:

        Thanks for posting. It just shows us how easy it would be to slip.

        Best wishes xx

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          #5
          Are you kidding me?

          Yikes! Scary stuff...I feel you though, had a similar situation lol was on autopilot and came too just in time to find myself staring blankly at the beer fridge at the store! I also let out a fairly loud and long WOOOOW, fortunately the place was empty. Glad you made it hope and had a wake up call before it was too late good job!

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            #6
            Are you kidding me?

            Halfway, Byrdie,

            After almost a year I am still scared that I will relapse. I hope this feeling goes away some day...

            Allan
            AF since 1st Sep 2012
            NF since 1st Sep 2012

            If you want to feel better visit www.hopeforpaws.org

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              #7
              Are you kidding me?

              Allan, I know what you mean!!! I finally did get there! Living in constant fear is for the Byrd's! As Kuya once said, the chances of me accidently drinking now are about as good as my accidently having sex!! Bahahah....true! I am vigilant as to what's in my glass! I am not fearful any more, but rather mindful....if that makes sense. I know the feeling you are talking about, it does pass!! Byrdie
              All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
              Tool Box
              Newbie's Nest

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                #8
                Are you kidding me?

                Halfway you didn't thats the main thing pat yourself on the back for doing just that walking out with nothing

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                  #9
                  Are you kidding me?

                  Temptation is always there, well done for walking away. I know how hard it is, this happened to me today:

                  My (possibly soon to be ex) best friend and ex-drinking partner came for dinner last night bringing with her a couple of bottles of Chardonnay for her. I didn't realise until tonight she had once again left enough in the fridge for a large glass. The bottle, complete with wine in it is now in the recycling outside the back door. I badly wanted to put it straight down the sink but if I had, my partner may have thought I'd just drunk it so its outside. I will leave hima note in the morning to get rid of it (he works shifts so we don't see each other some days). I can now go days without giving it a thought, but there it was, after a really rough few days at work, and in a heatwave screaming to me "come on drink me, one glass won't hurt" glad its bedtime ...
                  AF since 9 December 2012 :yay:

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                    #10
                    Are you kidding me?

                    Hi Spider,
                    If u need to all about your friend, I'm here for you...I lost mine last August ...still really hard especially since our children were also best friends :upset:

                    Alcohol just sucks...

                    :l
                    On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
                    *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
                    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
                    https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

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                      #11
                      Are you kidding me?

                      :goodjob: resisting temptation.
                      No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Are you kidding me?

                        I was only thinking this morning that when I threw away my six full years of sobriety, it was at a time when I was isolated. I hadn't been connected here for a long time because of work initially. Long travel hours and no access at work during the day, and by the time I got on at night everyone was gone. I wasn't even thinking of drinking and MWO just slipped quietly away but not with regret or anything like that. Natural attrition I guess.

                        I rarely think of hitting the bottle these days (again) but I'd just feel so bad having to come and share with my 'friends' here that I had slipped. My slippery slope is just a sip away though! And, I don't know if I'd kick this again if I relapsed. My second quit was THE hardest thing I've ever done - seriously.

                        The connections I've made here give me wings.........
                        It is not what we do, but how much love we put into the doing.
                        Mother Theresa

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                          #13
                          Are you kidding me?

                          Wow, what a strange day. While I was in the bank waiting to cash some checks, I was planning on going right back to the liquor store to buy just a half pint of vodka, which quickly changed to a pint of vodka in my mind. Hey, no one will know. I will use cash. No thought whatsoever to the past several months of being AF. What saved me was a brief moment of clarity, and I asked the teller to put the cash in a sealed envelope and I got my ass back home.

                          Thanks for your support. Good job spiderwoman!.

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Are you kidding me?

                            Halfway, hope you are doing okay, the best part is that you knew where to get the strength to make sure you avoid the AL temptations. With help from one another we got the month of March under our belts AF, yeah to the 311 gang! Here for you halfway
                            On a mission, and the only option is success. My family and I deserve a better life, an AF life.:h

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Are you kidding me?

                              Thanks, halo. I am doing well. Just came back from a weeklong family reunion and there was lots of drinking. It felt great to be sober! I do have an occasional glass of wine with dinner but the thrill is gone. I am not drinking to get drunk anymore. Thank God! Glad to read you are still AF. Good for you!

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