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Thought I was stronger.

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    Thought I was stronger.

    Hi friends. I'm ashamed to say that I have been very bad lately. I had house guests for 5 days last week, and gave in on day 3. No excuses. Just the truth. I have to start over again. I can see that so many others that I started with have managed to stay sober and that makes me even more ashamed and sad. But very proud of them and inspired by their strength. I start again today.
    Everything is going to be amazing

    #2
    Thought I was stronger.

    Welcome back! I was wondering where you were. The fact that you're here means you've made the right choice and aren't going to get dragged down again. This really can be your last day 1. What's your plan?

    :l NS

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      #3
      Thought I was stronger.

      MossRose

      Sorry to hear that. Keep strong you have done it before so I am sure you can do it again. Just look at it as a learning experience, maybe you can try to pinpoint at what point you caved in and what was the trigger that got you. Keep it in mind for future reference ?

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        #4
        Thought I was stronger.

        BNRS - thanks for the support. I had out-of-town company from back home. My girlfriend and I go back almost 40 years. She knows I am trying to quit drinking, but we easily slipped back into old patterns. I love her to pieces, but aarrgh. No more!!

        Hi NS. It is so nice to be back. I haven't been sleeping well. Keep beating myself up. But enough of that. I'll stay strong now that I'm back among my MWO friends. My plan is to stay focused on the now. I am going to try to practice mindfulness and keep moving forward. Back to juicing starting tomorrow morning One step at a time, right?
        Everything is going to be amazing

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          #5
          Thought I was stronger.

          Moss....I messed up on vacation last week also. Lets start over together....we can do this! I have learned that change takes time.
          Miley

          "The moment you are ready to quit is usually the moment right before a miracle happens..don't give up"
          [COLOR=Magenta]Joyfully AF Since 1/22/14

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            #6
            Thought I was stronger.

            MR and Miley, hopefully these times will just add to your future strength. Someone here recommended the book The Heart of Addiction which I just finished. I think it's worthwhile in that it helps us look at the cues, triggers, and "emotional memories" associated with drinking. It's written by an addiction psychiatrist and the basic theme is that we have to figure what is at the root of "why" we drink. You might want to give it a try.

            Best to you both.

            UN

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              #7
              Thought I was stronger.

              MR and Miley,

              Well done on heading back :goodjob: our drinking friends can be huge triggers. Stay safe.
              :l
              On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
              *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
              https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
              https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

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                #8
                Thought I was stronger.

                Miley, I'm ready - let's do it. We're back on track. Let's keep each other strong.
                Everything is going to be amazing

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                  #9
                  Thought I was stronger.

                  Kradle & unwasted - nice to hear from you both. I will definitely check out "The Heart of Addiction." Anything that helps me understand this horrible disease is always beneficial.
                  Everything is going to be amazing

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                    #10
                    Thought I was stronger.

                    Don't beat yourself up. Being around other drinkers is tough. You are human. You did get back on track and that is what matters.
                    No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

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                      #11
                      Thought I was stronger.

                      Thanks guys....feeling good today! Excited to be getting back on track. I have some excellent recipes for non- alcoholic summer drinks that I will try to post later. I got them on vacation and they look refreshing!
                      Miley

                      "The moment you are ready to quit is usually the moment right before a miracle happens..don't give up"
                      [COLOR=Magenta]Joyfully AF Since 1/22/14

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                        #12
                        Thought I was stronger.

                        I would like to join you guys, my emotional triggers have me spiralling again even though I'm trying with all my strength not to fall apart it seems my anxiety is causing sleep loss which causes more anxiety and a brain that just goes 'whats the point in trying to give up'?? I'm so upset but the infuriating thing is that lack of sleep and anxiety are what triggers my drinking so when I'm rested and sleep well I'm happy and strong.............................
                        Think I'd better hold on tight and ask permission to join you guys for this ride

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                          #13
                          Thought I was stronger.

                          LLL - you are more than welcome to join us! I suffer from extreme anxiety too. Been self-medicating for it my whole life. ugh! I do have a few tips to share for the insomnia. I started taking melatonin and listening to sleep hypnosis tapes (mp3s) and it seems to be working. You are so right. A good night's sleep makes everything better. Hang in there. We can do this!
                          Everything is going to be amazing

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                            #14
                            Thought I was stronger.

                            melatonin? I'll google it!! My anxiety and sleep depravation has taken me to the next level now of being exhausted and frazzled, damn cold sores!! I get rashes around my nose and cold sores on my lip, how incredibly powerful are our minds? We do this to ourselves but I can't find the off switch at the moment!!!!!!!!!

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                              #15
                              Thought I was stronger.

                              Welcome back moss rose! I hope you had fun with your GF and like everyone else said, no need to beat yourself up. Dust yourself off and you're good as new. I'm happy to see you back!

                              Miley, LLL, good to see you are on track too. Stay strong, it's worth it!
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