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    #1

    Day 9

    Here I am, Day 9. Physically, I feel good. I'm taking my vits/supps and ready to get more active and make better choices, food wise.

    But my rock bottom, the consequences of my decisions, they are weighing on me. I know working in a bar was a bad, bad call. I guess I only wish I had had a few more weeks to get more money put aside before having to quit. Now, due to my own decisions, I'm faced with huge consequences financially. I keep telling myself: I still have my day job. But it's also part-time. I'm a senior in college and take a lot of classes so I can graduate in May. The next two semesters leave little time for more than part-time. I'm lucky to have money left over after tuition is paid and I can pay up the majority of my bills for a few months.

    But right now . . . ugh.

    But remembering that: it's keeping me sober. The embarrassment of my regulars seeing me drunk, my boss' face and the reality of losing that nights income. I remember driving home and feeling like nothing.

    And I guess that's one of the thoughts I have had over and over the past nine days: When I drink, I let my life spin out of control. Even if I only drink ONE night a week, I do it big enough to have consequences for days. It's like the past year has been nothing but playing catch up from what happens when I drink.

    I'm rambling. I'm happy that I had a sober weekend. I'm grateful to be waking up on a Sunday and knowing what happened the night before. I'm happy I made no bad decisions this weekend.

    I saw a quote on here and I repeat it to myself a lot "She woke up one day and threw away her excuses" And I guess that's what I am doing: throwing them away.

    It's time to be sober. It's time to be me again. It's time to make something of myself. I am going to be 37 in 4 days and I don't want 37 to be anything like 36, or 35 or any of the years prior from when I started drinking.

    So, yes, 9 days. The world is very clear right now. And that's both wonderful and horribly painful. I feel like a failure right now. But I guess if I'm still sober, I can reach a point of succeeding again.
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    #2
    Day 9

    keep it up Missyshelle776 (long name ) good job on doing 9 days
    sounds to me like you wont miss the bar job ......the cost of drinks plus loosing the nights pay
    keep thinking al you don't need it .....and put yourself first ....and throw away the excuses as to why you need a drink

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      #3
      Day 9

      Miss Shelly
      You're doing great. Think of what an accomplishment it is to stop drinking and working a bar, seeing what drink does to people, seeing the same faces that come and leave snockered, pretty much on a daily basis (least that's what I saw when I was working in one).

      Keep coming here and reading posts of receiving and giving encouragement. Above all think of yourself and how good it feels not being hungover and poisoned.

      Sam
      Liberated 5/11/2013

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        #4
        Day 9

        MissyShelly,

        You are not on your own. I too have horrible financial implications to deal with because of my drinking. The important thing for me now is not to make matters worse, and to face the problems head on. One thing I have realised over the last two sober weeks is that I actually don't need a lot of money to live on when I am not buying AL and cigarettes! Keep your chin up, you are doing the right thing. Congratulations on your 9 days, you are NOT a failure!
        Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it! ~ Goethe

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          #5
          Day 9

          Well done Missy
          Feeling the pain and regret will pass, don't try to push it away too quickly. It is part of your healing process. You are doing great, I encourage you to stay the course and come out a winner.
          Allen Carr’s book changed everything for me. The easyway to control alcohol. Highly recommended

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            #6
            Day 9

            I'm on day 9 as well, it's getting better so it can only get even better, stick with it. Almost tempted yesterday but walked the dog and feeling disappeared, weird.
            Must admit giving up smoking was easier but if everyone else can do it so can we.
            Lash
            It's not what you drink, it's how much!

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              #7
              Day 9

              thanks everyone. I started Chantix yesterday to quit smoking. Honestly, I think that's going to be the hardest thing to give up. On to Day 10 today. Still doing well. Going to spend the day cleaning house and maybe baking later.

              Thank you for all of the encouragement. I appreciate it.

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                #8
                Day 9

                Hi, MissyShelle and Congratulations on reaching double-digits! Just think - stick with it and you'll never have to be in the single-digits again .

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                  #9
                  Day 9

                  I've had a few random thoughts about drinking. However, being broke is helping curtail that. Plus, yes, double digits are nice.

                  One thing I forgot about during the initial days of abstinence is the appetite. OMG! I can eat a bag of chips, popsicles and still eat dinner. I know it will pass. When I quit last year for about 2 months, after the first couple of weeks, appetite got closer to normal and I actually lost 12 lbs. I remember those days and hold on to them now, look at pictures. I looked amazing. Not just in the physical sense, but just a glow about me. I looked happy. I had people who hadn't seen me in a while remark at how great I seemed. I'm gong to be there again.

                  I also know right now, some of it is emotional eating. Dealing with stuff raw, not intoxicated. It hurts. So I know i also need to deal with that. But one thing, one day at a time.

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                    #10
                    Day 9

                    congrats on day 10 ......your doing great
                    I eat chocolate and I mean chocolate and I loved jubes and snakes
                    but have thankfully given the lollies away but the chocolate I'm still devouring
                    your body is craving the sugar ...... and your hands need something to do
                    keep it up you will soon have a week up your sleeve ....keep it up

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