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    #1

    Not sure if I am capable of this.

    Hello....
    I had NO idea that a place like this existed!!! I found you all because I was looking up supplements and stuff to keep my liver from jumping out of my body and it popped up. This could be just what I need!!!

    I have been a moderate drinker since I was a teen.... lately (last 10 years or so) I have been a very heavy drinker, if either a bottle (2 sometimes) of wine or half a bottle of vodka a night is considered heavy (my doctor looked shocked when I confessed, so I guess it must be heavy). I know I cannot blame anybody but myself, but I have to say that I have a very stressful marriage that I am not able to leave and that has NOT helped. As soon as I set foot in the door after work, I feel the need to rush in and get to drinking. I get everything done, dinner, cleaning up, laundry, taking care of all the pets and kids, etc.... but some mornings I wake up and have no memory from dinner on. I tiptoe around the house in the morning to see if I can get clues from what went on, but usually all is well! Then I check facebook to make sure I didn't drunk post. It makes me so sick and ashamed. My "sweet" husband loves to make drinking jokes at my expense. Sometimes in front of the kids. I know the only way to stop all of this is to just STOP! Sometimes I feel like I am waiting for something horrible to happen that will make me stop. I am so confused, I WANT to stop drinking and I also Don't want to stop, because what about all the lovely holiday meals and BBQ's that I make that special drinks are so much a part of?? I wish I could drink sometimes. Last night, I only had one half shot, and I think that is progress!! I didn't think I could sleep. Tonight I will try to not drink. I worry because I have read that it's bad to stop cold turkey.... something about blood sugar. Anyway, I am happy to be here and really hope that I can gain encouragement from you all. And maybe actually help others!
    How come if alcohol kills millions of brain cells, it never killed the ones that made me want to drink? ~Author Unknown
    Tags: None
    #2
    Not sure if I am capable of this.

    Welcome, Scarlett

    I'm glad you found MWO, too .

    Your story is not unfamiliar -- if you read in different places, you'll see yourself in others' posts. And the best news is -- some of those people are now sober. This can be done and the tools you need are here.

    A good place to hang out at the beginning is the Newbies Nest (see link below). There are many people there where you are, just starting out. There are people who are returning to try again. And there are others with various periods of sobriety. Everyone is supporting one another and when needed, giving a little tough love.

    There also is a Toolbox full of suggestions for getting and staying off alcohol (linked below). Maybe take some time and read through that thread-- some of the ideas may really resonate with you.

    If you feel like it, post your story in the Nest so everyone can get to know you. If you read back a couple weeks, you'll "meet" the people who are posting there right now. It is a really great group.

    Hope to see you in the nest!

    :welcome::welcome::welcome:

    Comment

      #3
      Not sure if I am capable of this.

      hello scarlet
      we have all been where you are at
      It's a wonder your doctor didn't give you anything to help you
      When you stop drinking then you can't be the brunt of your husbands jokes .....he will have to find something else ......
      just keep coming here there will be a lot of people here to help you ....but you have to want to STOP that is
      your liver will appreciate the no alcohol and start to fix it self .......liver cleansing is no alcohol
      .....

      sorry rambling on here ........just keep close to here

      Comment

        #4
        Not sure if I am capable of this.

        Hi Scarlett1946, It's great that you have found MWO. It really is an amazing place to be. Get into the newbies nest and make friends there. They are a fantastic bunch of people who won't judge you or condemn you no matter what. The support is wonderful.
        "I used to be on the guest list, but now I'm on the nest list!"

        Newbies Nest:https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html


        Toolbox:https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html

        Comment

          #5
          Not sure if I am capable of this.

          Thank you for the advice! I will post this in the nest, too.....

          It will be nice to be around nice people.
          How come if alcohol kills millions of brain cells, it never killed the ones that made me want to drink? ~Author Unknown

          Comment

            #6
            Not sure if I am capable of this.

            Hi Scarlett and welcome! Like everyone said before me, we can all relate to how you feel. This place is awesome. You will find loads of support here and the best thing is....you can truly be yourself. No one judges here.

            I wish you all the best!

            Miley
            Miley

            "The moment you are ready to quit is usually the moment right before a miracle happens..don't give up"
            [COLOR=Magenta]Joyfully AF Since 1/22/14

            Comment

              #7
              Not sure if I am capable of this.

              Welcome and follow all the advice. I used AL for years to keep my juggling of work and home (cooking, family etc) together. Years and years. But this creeps up on you and in time the addiction takes a very heavy and noticeable toll. It can only get worse. It also took me years to quit and I am still a newbie as far as I am concerned.
              You are drinking heavily and as you admit you have a serious problem with AL. But it's possible to do something and as others suggest - you need to quit for a length of time to assess things. Or quit for good. Don't worry about the social events in the future. We can give you lots of strategies for dealing with this.
              It's going to be good and yes, you are worth it!

              Comment

                #8
                Not sure if I am capable of this.

                I am starting over today too. I keep falling into the same cycle over and over again. I am deciding to taper because I have drank every day for over a year. I am embarrassed to admit that, but it is the honest truth. I am glad I found this site too. Let's keep in touch and maybe discuss the process, our good and bad days, and so forth. WE can can do this.

                Comment

                  #9
                  Not sure if I am capable of this.

                  Hi Scarlett.
                  Yes you can do this and have a wonderful time doing it. Trust me you won't lose anything by not drinking al. You will gain your life. I know all about a stressful marriage and not able to leave. But drinking did not help my stress and I'm betting it's not helping yours either.
                  Keep close to us and you Can do this..Odaat.
                  :l
                  No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Not sure if I am capable of this.

                    Hi Scarlett - you ARE capable of this. That I am sure of. And welcome!! I am so glad you have found your way here. It's so easy to use AL to dim the pain of a bad or difficult relationship. We all totally understand where you are at. Please keep posting...keep reading...and hang in there.
                    Everything is going to be amazing

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Not sure if I am capable of this.

                      Scarlett: I've been here at MWO for many years & have found it extremely helpful. I drank the way you did. I drank alone at the end. I finally started going to AA & that along w/MWO has helped me to stop. I stayed sober for 3 years then had a relapse last summer. I'm almost 10 months sober again & have now stopped for good. I take my sobriety one day at a time. If I look into the future it seems overwhelming, so I'm sober today & that's good enough for me. Good luck. Mary
                      Wisdom, Courage, Strength
                      October 3, 2012

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Not sure if I am capable of this.

                        Scarlett - welcome! Like retteacher, I have been here many years too. Went 11 months no AL, then blew it, now back almost 5 months sober. It is hard to stop. But it gets easier. I have a complicated marriage, 3 (great) kids and stressful job, but life is so much easier to deal with, without the alcohol. I live in the Eastern US too and remember, many of the folks on here are across the pond - so sometimes the timing is off when answering posts. Don't feel ignored (I did till I understood what was going on!) I wish you the best of luck - this place is wonderful.

                        Love Waggy
                        February 27th, 2013. A New , Successful Start. :h

                        When everything seems like an uphill struggle, just think of the view from the top!!

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Not sure if I am capable of this.

                          hello scarlet how are you doing to-day
                          we have all been where you are at

                          Comment

                            #14
                            Not sure if I am capable of this.

                            I am doing good today.... I would like to not drink tonight, but I am also prepared to just drink less again. I did that last night.... like more than 50% less than usual. No blackout, no arguments, baby steps. I feel embarrassed, though..... I really thought I would not drink last night.

                            Thank you all for everything! It really makes me think that I may be able to do this!!
                            How come if alcohol kills millions of brain cells, it never killed the ones that made me want to drink? ~Author Unknown

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Not sure if I am capable of this.

                              OMG the mailman just dropped off a Wine of the Month club ad!!! I am ripping it up now! What timing.....
                              How come if alcohol kills millions of brain cells, it never killed the ones that made me want to drink? ~Author Unknown

                              Comment

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