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Why do I keep doing this to myself?

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    #16
    Why do I keep doing this to myself?

    HS- boy can I relate to your post! Hang in there....people win this battle everyday, so it can be done! We can do this but I find that being ready to actually do the work is key. For me that means going to counseling, joining a faith based support group and posting on MWO. It takes effort but nothing worthwhile is easy. Just remember this is a process and won't happen overnight. I just started this journey and believe me it hasn't been easy and I have failed more than once but I refuse to give up! You can do this!
    Miley

    "The moment you are ready to quit is usually the moment right before a miracle happens..don't give up"
    [COLOR=Magenta]Joyfully AF Since 1/22/14

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      #17
      Why do I keep doing this to myself?

      worry n fear

      All I can say is if you are obsessing about it there is a problem. I have found that changing drinking behaviors will not work. Not drinking at all is the only thing that has but it does not solve any of my problems it only makes me more aware of them. It is a tough middle road but that's we have each other.

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        #18
        Why do I keep doing this to myself?

        BORED AND INSECURE

        Hey Honeysoup:......I am in exactly the same boat........weird how our minds work huh? Dont fret....theres probably a billion of us out there....and you along with rest of us here have achieved step one---recognition of a problem. Be thankful for that hey?

        Yes---I've been reminded often this beast needs work...or does it?......perhaps just darn good recognition, patience, and a replacement habit---good ones...like working out or something.

        Its a journey...and we all need support.....You'll get there-----please be ultra kind and gentle on yourself. Tools...we need tools.

        Thank you all you members---Im a newbie here

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          #19
          Why do I keep doing this to myself?

          Hello Lead366 and welcome!

          Have you checked the Toolbox? The link is given below. It is full of good ideas.

          Also, if you haven't done so already, you could head over to the Newbies Nest - it is full of people at various stages of becoming AF who are ready and eager to support one another.
          Read back a few days and you'll get to know the people who are posting there. Then, perhaps you could introduce yourself.

          Glad you found this site! NS

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            #20
            Why do I keep doing this to myself?

            Honeysoup - Your thoughts are my thoughts. It's this blasted beast called addiction. I wish I could figure out WHY I got to this point - but I think ultimately it doesn't matter. We are hear and we have NO choice but to STOP forever. But since our addicted minds can not handle the thought of "forever" - we must stop for today. I know that is scary because we know we can't drink tomorrow either. The key is learning that today is all that matters. I know - I know ... it seems impossible. But obviously it's not - as others have been successful.

            So as I "restart" with a big amount of disgust for myself - I'd ask you to join me on this journey. We can do it. We can. I'm banking on it. With the help of everyone on this site - and with all of the tools we can stick in our belts!!

            I LOVE Bird's quote about Alcohol being acid to our soul. It's SO true.

            Hang in here with us!
            Put your hands over your heart - and tell yourself that you are going to guard this essence of who you are with everything. Alcohol opens us up to darkness and depression instantly. You choose love today. Guard it by keeping the poison out of your body. It IS poison.



            NF - May 2, 2013 (cig free Jan. 25, 2013)
            AF - July 31, 2013
            :lordhelpme:

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              #21
              Why do I keep doing this to myself?

              Hi Honey!

              Just sending you a :l

              I know how hard this struggle is, boy do I KNOW! The fact that you keep coming back shows that you are determined. Stick close to us ok?

              Glad to see you again!

              K9
              :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

              Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

              Comment

                #22
                Why do I keep doing this to myself?

                Thanks everyone...its so comforting knowing we have each other. Today is day 6 and I don't know why but I am extremely exhausted. I feel like I could sleep for a week, I have been taking the Antabuse which is helpful. Evenings are the hardest, but I have been trying to stay busy. I usually look forward to Saturdays but I am kind of afraid of it now. My plan is to get up and go to the gym. My four year old likes to go with me because their is a jungle gym daycare in there so its helpful to her and me...but then what? We have no plans, and I have no energy to be running around. Its going to take alot for me to get motivated to go to the gym on a Saturday.

                I'm rambling...

                Have a great day everyone...

                PS - To K9...I think of you alot when I take my trips away from MWO. You are such and inspiration, for some reason I think we my have been twin drunks...although my poison was wine, beer was my previous choice for years. sigh... hugs back to you
                Honeysoup :heart:

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                  #23
                  Why do I keep doing this to myself?

                  Hi Honey!
                  Yes, I think we are drunk twins. LOL (WERE drunk twins...we don't drink anymore!)
                  Why don't you take Saturday "off" and not even pressure yourself to go to the gym? Hang out with your little one...watch movies and eat junk food and build a fort in the living room. When I first quit drinking, we had SO many pizza/movie nights! Do whatever works to stay occupied. Go to the library, or go to Walmart! Just get through the day, and the next one will be easier....
                  Hang in there!
                  K9
                  :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

                  Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

                  Comment

                    #24
                    Why do I keep doing this to myself?

                    Hi honey,

                    I'm with K9 if you're feeling low on energy listen to your body. Eat all you want to eat. Really. Forget about calories or anything for now, that will sort itself out later.

                    Congratulations on your Day 4, that's awesome! Each day your body is healing a little more. Just give it time and be kind to yourself ok?
                    Newbies Nest
                    Toolbox
                    My accountability thread

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                      #25
                      Why do I keep doing this to myself?

                      Honeysoup, I identify with your thread 100%. I would be cursing myself on the way to the liquor store yet couldn't stop myself from going in and getting it. Addiction to chemical substances is a very powerful disease, but I now am 3 years sober so it can be done. Rootin for ya. :egypt:
                      Success is making yourself do the thing you need to do, when you need to do it, whether you like it or not.
                      If you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything.

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                        #26
                        Why do I keep doing this to myself?

                        Honey how are you making out today?
                        Newbies Nest
                        Toolbox
                        My accountability thread

                        Comment

                          #27
                          Why do I keep doing this to myself?

                          Hi Honeysoup - I just made it through my day 4 and wanted to check in on you and see how your day was! Hang in here with us .... the weekend will be over and you will have less anxiety about weekends next week! Everyone will build on the last.

                          I know I'm starting to feel better. I like the advice here, as I have been eating junk for the past few days! hehe. I don't plan on continuing that - but for now ... it helps!

                          Take Care
                          Put your hands over your heart - and tell yourself that you are going to guard this essence of who you are with everything. Alcohol opens us up to darkness and depression instantly. You choose love today. Guard it by keeping the poison out of your body. It IS poison.



                          NF - May 2, 2013 (cig free Jan. 25, 2013)
                          AF - July 31, 2013
                          :lordhelpme:

                          Comment

                            #28
                            Why do I keep doing this to myself?

                            Hi Honey!

                            I just wanted to see how your weekend went? Are you still taking Antabuse? I am...with everything that happened in my life recently I think I would have caved without it. So use it as long as you need it!!
                            :heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:

                            Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.

                            Comment

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