Well, That Didn't Take Long

[Pinecone]

Well, That Didn't Take Long

Good morning friends,

It's great to see everyone posting here!

Lifechange, I've always heard and also come to believe that the hardest part of any workout is that time just before you fully commit to doing it; when it is easy to back out for some fabricated excuse. Doing it anyway builds character! I'm not always 100% successful at this but there is a perverse pleasure in pushing yourself. It has been a very warm early fall here, but I like the cold, grey and windy days that are coming.

FAL, I will try to check that show out a little later today, thanks!

Hi Alls, NS, mylife, 3june, Mein and anyone else stopping by today. Have a great AF day.

[NoSugar]

Well, That Didn't Take Long

allswell;1562410 wrote:
Let's keep meditating, exercising, and living with purpose folks!

This is where I want to be, Alls, with part of my purpose being to contribute to something greater than myself. You're doing that with your political efforts.

I am so sickened by how I allowed my world to shrink over the last several years. Almost all of my decisions were based on my perceived "needs". There is no meaning in living that way.

Like people who survive a terrible accident or serious disease, those of us who get past an addiction can lead a better life than we perhaps would have lived without the experience. Although I still hate what I became, I do appreciate the perspective it has given me on just about everything.

Pinecone, as part of the Gratitude Practice I'm working on, I am going to try to appreciate something about every one of the upcoming gray and chilly days. I will think about you actually enjoying them and try to imagine why... then I'll try to appreciate it, too (this is going to be a Big Task!!). A few years ago, a dying friend remarked to me how beautiful a day like that was. Since she, like me, preferred the summer sun, I realized it was because she knew it was her last winter. Since we really do "never know", it is good to try to appreciate each day for what it is. That's my goal, anyway.

Life, Congratulations on your first 30 days. You sound so strong and committed - like a person who is done drinking. Being a non-drinker doesn't solve everything of course or take you off the emotional rollercoaster but at least you are feeling things and truly participating in your own life! That is one thing Brene Brown talks about in her books and videos (yes, the book and Free's link are for the same person) - you can't selectively numb your emotions. Drowning the pain drowns the joy. Drowning the boredom drowns the anticipation. And on and on until you're merely existing.

Free, safe travels! I will be listening to the show you recommended. I am really ready to commit to developing this part of my life. Staying AF is of course #1 but that really does become the 'new normal' and not a daily effort. It is great to have friends here who also are interested in becoming the fullest and best people we can be.

[free at last]

Well, That Didn't Take Long

Here's the link for Krista Tippets (On Being) interview with Thich Nhat Hanh. I highly recommend the interview and he has several videos on youtube. Now in West Africa where everyone seems to be on ultra high alert. Not a bad thing for this road warrior. Will post when I can.

Thich Nhat Hanh on Mindfulness, Suffering, and Engaged Buddhism | On Being

[free at last]

Well, That Didn't Take Long

Ok, everyone, did my encouragment that we listen to Thich Nhat Hanh and come to embrace suffering scare everyone away? Ladies and Pinecone, where are you all?

I'm off on another two flights tomorrow, will be in limited email contact for a few days.

[Pinecone]

Well, That Didn't Take Long

Hi friends,

FAL, thanks so much for that link! I started listening to it today. I have always enjoyed Krista Tippet's show on NPR. Have another safe trip!

NS, I like the way you posted about surviving a serious accident, etc. In my head, I was wandering in thick woods in the rain and suddenly saw a lighted window of a cabin, the way I pictured it. The relief is almost overwhelming and I can get very emotional if I seriously think about it. It's almost awful to think that the life I have now is because of an addiction. I am stu very grateful for it though. Water under the bridge.

I'm exhausted from housework (kind of a rare state for me) but I have a cozy house right now. Have a great AF night friends.

[NoSugar]

Well, That Didn't Take Long

The On Being podcast was great, Free - thanks. I am interested in learning more about the walking meditation. I'm not sure my high-energy dog will get to go with me on those walks, though!

I can visualize your lit cabin in the (snowy!) woods, Pinecone. What a relief to find refuge. Even though it hasn't been all that long, it is hard for me to really remember what my life was like. It feels like it happened to someone else - like it was a story I read or show I watched. That is probably one reason it is important to stay connected - it is important not to forget. Hanging out in the Newbies Nests reminds me every day how hard it is to quit.

Hi, Life! I saw that you posted in the Newbies Nest. You sound as committed as ever . Welcome back!

Allswell, MyLife, June3, and any others, hope you are doing well - it would be great to hear what you're up to. Have a great weekend, everyone.

:h NS

[lifechange]

Well, That Didn't Take Long

Happy Friday Evening, Ladies and Pinecone!

Free, I didn't yet have a chance to listen to the podcast, but am looking very much forward to it, Sunday at the latest.

The girls and I are trying to re-acclimate to city life-- the farm experience was relaxing in a completely different way than I'd anticipated and it took some real mindful readjustment to be able to get through it at all. I guess I went with intentions of "relaxing",laying around with a book, drinking tea, listening to the kids play. What I turned up to find was a huge farm house that was in an upheaval I've never seen before. First I wanted to turn around and leave, then I was angry because the people are so nice (we know them through the school) that I felt obligated to stay and work, to give of myself even though I didn't have anything to give-- I don't want to make such a long story out of this, but I was thankfully able to find a way I could give of myself graciously, without feeling "used", and after 4 days of working from dawn to dark, I came away feeling so fulfilled with this way of life, from what I received. And the kids had the absolute time of their lives--
The first night I was there and feeling overwhelmed, I looked at nasty box of red wine sitting on the porch, and somehow NO way dismissal came automatically-- very nice indeed. I mentioned in the Nest that I'm starting to feel stronger and more sure of myself-- in the sense of being able to do something I set out to do. I'm in no way becoming complacent, mind you all!

Alls and Pinecone and NS thank you so much for your supportive words last week. You are all such inspiration for me-- people to look up to and to follow a bit on this wonderful path.
I have to put one very tired almost 9 year old to bed-- will be around later.
Big hugs:l

[free at last]

Well, That Didn't Take Long

Dear Lifechange, was this working on an organic farm or some kind of farmstay? It sounds like it turned into a really great learning experience. Once I get my head around it, I like that totally exhausted feeling from hard work at the end of a day. But, I couldn't sustain it for too long

Pinecone, I too, liked the image of a warm cabin in the woods. What a refuge to have our lives back.

The guy who cuts my hair has been AF for over 250 days now. Since Jan, I've been chatting with him about his journey. A couple of weeks ago, I shared with him that I was (at that time) two months AF. We talked about people who can drink "normally" to which he said, "There is nothing normal about you or me. In fact, I think people who tend to become addicted have really strong personalities, and have a tendency to do everything to extreme. They pursue drink with the same level of passion they pursue their careers, avocations. The trouble is the drink takes over." Left me with much to think about. BTW -- he is an extremely talented stylist -- handles models, actors, and middle-aged frumpy babes

Glad to hear from everyone. Stay strong over the weekend.

[allswell]

Well, That Didn't Take Long

Hello everyone,

Lifechange, I'm wondering what the arrangement was at the farm too. Was it a stay with the intent to move back to a simpler way of life? I'm fascinated with that kind of getaway, have stayed at several Amish Inns in the past that were that way and have always enjoyed them tremendously.

Running the Marine Corp Marathon in DC at the end of October so hoping the yahoos in Washington get it together because a huge part of the race are the monuments, parks and such. It would be a real bummer if everything was closed and the race route gets redirected to some bland areas instead. Doing my last 20 miler this weekend then taking it easy until race day.

Have a great weekend everyone!

[NoSugar]

Well, That Didn't Take Long

Hey, Allswell, great to see you again! Have a good "short :H" race this weekend.

You probably don't want to get me started about the debacle in DC! I do hope they have extracted their heads from where they appear to be right now in time for your marathon to be the event you been training for and looking forward to!

Ok, I need to know who is confused here - I thought you were a male (and I thought Pinecone was a woman). I got straightened out about Pinecone awhile ago (with much laughter all around...). Now I'm wondering if I'm wrong about you, too. Not that it matters, I guess . That is one cool thing about internet friendships - no automatic judgments based on race, gender, appearance, or any of the myriad things we try not to judge but at some level almost always do.

Interesting conversation you had with your stylist, Free! Is the change in him noticeable to you? I'm not sure we have a representative group on MWO (certainly not randomly selected, at any rate) but most people here do seem to be interesting and interested, intelligent, curious, high-achieving, etc. At any rate, it is clear that having the ability and resources to "know better" is not enough to avoid an addiction.

Hey, Life - be proud for not getting into that toxic boxed wine at the farm. It would have been so easy to do, especially when you were feeling a little overwhelmed by the situation you found yourself in. I used to think about how I would feel typing up my sins in the Newbies Nest and that really helped me stay strong. Now I don't trust myself not to leave MWO if I fail so, since I like it here, I've gotta stay AF!

Have a great weekend everyone, whatever your gender!!

[3June2013]

Well, That Didn't Take Long

Free at Last I love your hairdresser's theory! We alcoholics rock LOL

[lifechange]

Well, That Didn't Take Long

Good morning Lovelies,

I just finished with brunch--my first semi-hostess shindig in a veeeery long time! Nothing like yours, Free! Just had our next door neighbors+ baby over--didn't even have to shower first. In fact, it was kindof like a jammy party! Very informal and cozy and I didn't for one minute dread it ahead of time. Yayyy...

Free and Alls, the farm we were on is owned by a family from the school. Their youngest (of 6!) is in the 3rd grade with my daughter and is home-schooled except on Fridays, when she joins us. The farm is about 80 km outside of Berlin and is gorgeous, a dream with horses, cows, chickens, goats, etc. They've been farming for 25 years and are quite established, though more chaotic than I could have imagined. Chaotically organized, I guess-- is that possible? I would love to move towards a simpler way of life, but I don't know if I'm courageous enough. Baby steps-- I have been trying for years to simplify my life and have in some ways been successful. To be truly happy, for myself, it needs to be more so. I have, with your help:l, been successful in the most important aspect of moving forward-- the not drinking bit!!!! And I'm so happy and feel so hopeful and slowly confident that I can change my life for the better.

Alls, I really hope you're able to run the race-- what's with all these idiots, anyway? I haven't turned on the news 'cause I can't bear to hear the gory details. I'm amazed that you can run 20 miles! I'd love to cheer you on!:yougo:

Nosugar, I could really relate to your post a few days ago. About wanting to to find and live for a purpose greater than yourself. That's exactly what I've been searching for and at the same time running from. I can also imagine, that when I've had a bit more af time, I will see this addiction and getting through it, as something that has strengthened me. For me now, it's very much two steps forward and one back-- I don't want to overwhelm myself, because I don't yet know my limits-as far as pain and uncomfortable-ness go. I have to be very aware to take care.

Hi 3June! Hi Pinecone! I also loved the warmly lit cabin image. I'm getting ready to cozy down for the winter-- Had a beeswax candle lit this morning for brunch.. Safe travels, still, Free--hello to Mylife, wherever you are! And Unwasted, big hugs, just in case you check in.

[Pinecone]

Well, That Didn't Take Long

Good morning friends,

It's great to see a flurry of activity here! I had to work this weekend but I enjoyed hearing what everyone is up to. It's windy and gray where I'm at. These days make me feel like I slow down a bit and notice more detail.

Lifechange, that home stay sounds fascinating. You are brave to turn the initial hesitation about it into a positive experience. That's the part about travel that I never "get right." Sometimes I can't get over the dissonance between what I expect and what is really there and it has spoiled some trips for me. I'm not very good at traveling!

FAL, I think I have to agree with your stylist, at least I definitely want to think that I'm special in some way! I'm joking a bit, but there has to be a grain of truth to it. It is certainly unique to be on the AF path. Harnessing the energy and using it to rebuild ourselves is a miracle. We must not ever forget or take this for granted.

I'd like everyone on this thread to know how much I truly appreciate your company! Have a great AF day.

[NoSugar]

Well, That Didn't Take Long

Hi, friends

At the moment I am feeling like this AF life is the best thing ever - no doubts, no worries, no temptation to get into the open bottle of wine at the home I'm visiting - none of that. I'm done and I'm thrilled.

But at the back of my mind is the voice telling me not to get too excited, don't count your chickens, and all that. I understand not becoming complacent but it sure would be nice to be able to fully enjoy the present. Maybe that is the price of having failed myself so completely? I wonder if there ever is a point of complete self-trust.

Anyway, I'm going to try to celebrate everything about today . I hope all of you are having a great day and feeling good!

[free at last]

Well, That Didn't Take Long

So it sounds like everyone agrees with my stylist -- we are extraordinary people. Probably a little guilty of taking things to extreme, which is why we got into issues with alcohol.

I had a rare lunch to myself today and made a list of pros and cons of drinking, posted it on a new thread "Which would you choose." I really feel as though the past few days have been another turning point in my thinking--in becoming a nondrinker. Like NS, am careful not to become complacent but there is definitely a shift going on. The daily gratitude thinking and meditation is helping enormously. So is posting -- for a change I have had decent internet connections on a daily basis even with my travels.

I really enjoy hearing from everyone on this thread.