Well, That Didn't Take Long

[NoSugar]

Well, That Didn't Take Long

free at last;1557938 wrote: Hi everyone,

Last night was rather tough for me. A friend came over with wine. I poured her a glass and myself a glass of selter water with lime. Took an antihistamine in front of her (bad allergies right now) and said not drinking today. Could not bring myself to say that I haven't had a drink in two months. When she left (sent her home with the remaining wine) I told my DH that I am not certain I can do this, completely stop drinking. His encouragement about how much he enjoys having me be present in the evenings inspired me to keep on. A turning point for me will be when I tell this friend I don't drink. period.

Hi, Free

First off, congratulations on doing what you needed to do last night.

Is there something particular about this friendship that makes telling her difficult? For me, there are a couple people who I rarely was with unless sharing a bottle of wine was involved so I figure those aren't very meaningful friendships anyway. And I've been with them since and just not participated and its been ok (although I got bored). Another person with whom that was only part of our relationship, but a fun part (it was not a get drunk kind of thing), is disappointed that I don't drink anymore and IF I could be a moderate drinker, I would have a glass of wine with her. But as we know, that is off the table. Since I didn't overdrink when I was with others, I could drink socially if it didn't inevitably lead to problems in private.

Anyway, I hope the opportunity to tell this friend that you don't drink anymore comes up soon and you'll have another bit of anti-AL armor in place! I would imagine that disappointing your husband (and yourself!) is another strong dis-incentive. I bet you wouldn't even be able to enjoy the drink with all the thoughts that would be racing through your mind.

Like you and Pinecone, I really hope we can keep this thread going and I hope we hear from Life, Alls, MyLife, and anyone else who would like to join us.

Have a good day, all. :h NS

[lifechange]

Well, That Didn't Take Long

Good afternoon, all!

I also want to keep this thread going-- I like coming here so much. I miss Un's sweet soul, and I hope she checks in to have a look every once in awhile.:h

Free, I'm really happy you were able to stick to your guns with your friend. And just as much so at the response you got from your husband. What a wonderful, supportive man you have-- who is able to see you for the beautiful person you are. He doesn't want to lose you to the al--I'm also lucky to have a very nice man, who is still scared that I might go back to old ways, but who is open to trusting me again. He's also reaping the benefits of a sane and mostly stable partner, with a nice sense of humour instead of the screaming, crazy, mean and unpredictable lunatic I was such a short time ago! I think we're very fortunate to have the support of the closest people in our lives! I'm also wondering about what NS asked about the difficulty of you telling this friend? It is hard to tell some people, though, isn't it? Do you have some friends you've told? My 3 closest girlfriends with whom I spend my free social time know-- and I guess I haven't really told anyone else. If asked, I've said I'm on a health kick, which most seem to buy. Are you at home for awhile now?

hi NS!!! I sort of follow you around on the boards. I don't always comment-- so often I don't really know what to say. I want to be supportive of people, but I never want to come across as patronizing or unsympathetic-- and I don't have so much time under my belt so I don't feel I can offer "advice". I think you respond to people in such a thoughtful way--also very smart. I get a lot from your posts to others.

Hi Pinecone, Allswell, Mylife-- hope you're all having at least a somewhat relaxing (at least this evening!) AF day!

[allswell]

Well, That Didn't Take Long

Hello everyone,

Hope the week has treated everyone well. Not much to report here except that it is absolutely beautiful weather to get me ready for my favorite season which is Autumn. I love it!

I agree that sugar is a horrible dietary choice, I rarely have any added sugar to anything but after a really good and long workout last week I said the hell with it and bought a pint of ice cream. Wow did I feel like shit the next day, I completely agree with Pinecone, it was like a horrible hangover.

UN, if you come back here I'm keeping my fingers crossed the move goes smoothly.

[NoSugar]

Well, That Didn't Take Long

Life, You would never appear to be anything but kind and sympathetic in your posts! I think it is important for people at all stages to weigh in. You are clearly committed to staying AF but with being newer to this, your memories of what it was like are fresher - you can still really empathize with what people in the very early days are going through.

Alls, I love autumn, too, but it is hard for me to enjoy it fully because of my dread of winter. I guess that is yet another thought pattern I need to work on changing. Worry about the future sure knocks the joy out of the present!

I went to a stress-management seminar. The first recommendation was to consciously be thankful - even for things that seem negative because of the good changes they can initiate. I don't know that I will ever be truly grateful for this addiction but I do appreciate all I've learned from it and the people I've met :l.

I know for sure that what I eat greatly affects my mood and stress level (and, really, why shouldn't it??). Maybe we are some of the canaries in the coal mine on the sugar front. The popular press already is starting to catch up with the science. Sadly, government and other institutions are for the most part lagging far behind.

I hope you all are doing, thinking, and eating well - :hNS

[free at last]

Well, That Didn't Take Long

Hi all,
The friend who stopped over is someone who I used to sit around the living room coffee table and share a bottle of wine while discussing the joys, sorrows, trials of our lives. Since our work lives are so busy, I usually only get to see her in the evenings and not so often due to my travel schedule. I think I just didn't want to go into any long discussion about my drinking and chose the easy way out.

If I remember correctly, today is UN's move. Hoping all goes well (if you are reading, UN).

Finally getting some kind of routine going now that I am home. Made it to the gym yesterday and that felt great.

Stay focused everyone.

[allswell]

Well, That Didn't Take Long

Hey NS,

I think gratitude is an important part of finding purpose in life and finding purpose in life's setbacks. I too have a hard time finding positives out of a drinking problem but am grateful I realized the problem when I did before it became progressively worse. I am also grateful for having the time to fully enjoy an alcohol free life. At 50 I have already seen peers die from health problems and or reckless behavior due to drugs and alcohol or from terminal illness. I'm glad I have the time and clear head to take the years I have available and make the most of them.

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Well, That Didn't Take Long

NS, AW... I like what you have said about gratitude. I also struggle to have gratitude in my life and I often fall down into a "why me" pity party. The stance that we should have gratitude even for the negative things is something new to me. I suppose the positive and negative events in our life shape who we are and push us into a certain direction. Maybe a long term outcome for a supposed negative event can not be seen initially, but a lesson will be learned long term? Just good food for though because I've never looked at it that way.

[NoSugar]

Well, That Didn't Take Long

Hey, MS

I just posted the poem from the seminar in your thread.

We'd love to see you here more often - it is a great group!

[Mein Sonnenschein]

Well, That Didn't Take Long

Thank you NS, I will check it out. I don't know why I haven't visited this thread more often. I'll make it a daily ritual as it looks like there is great support and conversation here. I'll take all I can get!

[Pinecone]

Well, That Didn't Take Long

Hi friends,

Un, if you are still reading, good luck with your move!

FAL, it's wonderful that you have your husband's support. I'm also lucky that my wife supports my quit. I cringe when I read posts about a spouse trying to get their partner to drink. I always used to try to encourage my wife to get buzzed with me so I could really go to town, though...it must be terrible not to have support in the home front. Good on you for not drinking though!

NS, I think I read one of your posts on another thread that you have been meditating? How is that going for you? I find that it is really working for me so far. The couple of days I have skipped it because of my laziness and hectic work schedule, I have really missed the benefits those days.

Alls, it's such a bummer, the "ice cream hangover!" Isn't it?

Hi Lifechange! I know how you feel about posting. Sometimes I think I just don't have much to add.

I hope everyone has a great AF day!

[Pinecone]

Well, That Didn't Take Long

Welcome Mein! Good to see you here!

[dryer]

Well, That Didn't Take Long

Come on players who wants to pledge to make their weekend AL free. You don't have to be a virgin it can be your 2nd or 10th. Join us rookies, pledge to be free this weekend with me.

Pledge to be free from alcohol and celebrate your benefits of being free. FREE-DUMB

Post on 2nd weekend thread...........

[lifechange]

Well, That Didn't Take Long

Hi you all!
Today I'm having a bit of a struggle keeping positive. I'm trying to focus on the kids and just get through the day without regrets--As Byrdie always says over in the Nest, there aren't usually two bad days in a row. I know I would feel better if I got out to exercise-- but I don't feel like it. So I will tomorrow for sure. Hope you are all well and enjoying your Saturday.
See you soon--:l

[NoSugar]

Well, That Didn't Take Long

Hi, Life. I hope your Sunday is everything your Saturday wasn't . Anyway, every day AF is a pretty good day, relatively speaking, right???

Pinecone, I am getting better with meditating because I'm using it to get through some physical pain - it is amazing to me how well it works! I hope this sets me up to stick with the practice. I really like the ones on the link that Free mentioned.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend everyone and if you're reading, UN, please send a PM even if you're not comfortable posting, ok?

:h NS

[Pinecone]

Well, That Didn't Take Long

Hi friends,

Lifechange, I'm sorry you're having a rough patch. Excercise will help immensely, I promise. It has been a huge part of my quit. Even just taking a walk can do wonders for your mood. It is counterintuitive, but excercising when your mind really resists it is beneficial, like strengthening your AF resolve when you resist drinking. Have a much better Sunday, friend!

NS, sorry to hear you are in pain. I'm glad the meditation is helping, that's very cool. Get better soon!

I hope someone hears from Un at some point so we know how she is doing.

Have a great AF night!