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    #1

    My thoughts this morning

    I got up much earlier than I had to today. I've been reading a lot and trying to learn as much as I can. I was following Craig Ferguson's story and watched his sobriety monologue on youtube. He has been sober for just over 20 years now I think. I have also been reading a lot of older posts on here. I've been telling myself this since I started (this is my day 26) but today it kind of really hit home with force and clarity and I said it aloud several times just to feel the power of the words coming out of my mouth.

    There really is no benefit to drinking alcohol. None whatsoever.

    There is nothing to be gained and everything to be lost by doing it. For me anyway. I want my strength, my confidence, my humour, my dignity, my self respect and the respect of others. I haven't said this out loud before now, but I never want to go back. I never want to give AL the power to take those things from me again. I want to quit for good. I AM quitting for good.

    It feels so good to write that down, to say it aloud to myself..

    I am off to work now. I don't have to worry about smelling of booze. Of driving, possibly still over the limit from last night. Of lack of concentration. Being sober feels great and I love it. No going back.
    Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it! ~ Goethe
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    #2
    My thoughts this morning

    Good on you broken halo. Hope you have a great sober day and another and another....

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      #3
      My thoughts this morning

      Broken Halo, Yesterday we cross posted and today I find out you have been watching Craig Ferguson on YouTube. I did that yesterday. Also this idea of saying things out loud is something I have been doing too. I heard an American preacher on Oprah saying that you have to hear the words coming out of your mouth to get them to be fully forceful. That the words we speak are like seeds and that actually hearing them is like the earth, sunlight and water that will bring them to life.
      That's what I have been doing too: feeding my seeds by saying aloud (not as I walk down Sauchiehall Street you understand), "I am never going to drink alcohol again and I am never going to change my mind!" I really believe it's helping, but I can't believe how similar an approach to sobriety we are taking.

      When you read this you will probably be back from work; hope you had a great day - you deserve it.

      Neddy x
      "I used to be on the guest list, but now I'm on the nest list!"

      Newbies Nest:https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html


      Toolbox:https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html

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        #4
        My thoughts this morning

        BH (and Neddy) I am so happy to read these words of yours. Once I finally accepted what must be done, and took THAT choice off the table of options, everything sort of fell into place. I do not give myself the choice of drinking AL, no more than I would choose to drink gasoline. I am so happy for you! It's a huge burden lifted, isn't it? Great job!! B
        All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
        Tool Box
        Newbie's Nest

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          #5
          My thoughts this morning

          BH
          A very good post. Thank you. Isn't it almost enlightening to say it, live it, breathe it... I am sober.
          Sam
          Liberated 5/11/2013

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            #6
            My thoughts this morning

            Great stuff BH!

            It's a big lie and myth that we need booze to enjoy things isn't it? What a waste of time it is these days.

            Bravo!

            'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

            Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

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              #7
              My thoughts this morning

              Thanks for that Broken Halo - I repeated your words this morning and it felt so good!
              "A good garden may have some weeds"
              Thomas Fuller

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                #8
                My thoughts this morning

                What a great post Broken Halo! You couldn't have said it any better.

                I find myself thinking the same thing - and it feels great to know I never have to drink again. NEVER! I'm finding joy in that word instead of some misplaced feeling of loss I felt in the past. What a waste of time and energy it is to drink Alcohol!

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                  #9
                  My thoughts this morning

                  Thanks Treetops, I did have a great sober day, and I hope you do too!

                  Neddy, I do try not to say it aloud in public too! We really are taking a similar approach. I have always believed that whatever goals you set yourself you should approach with 100% commitment, passion, and a positive mindset. I wish I had applied this to AL (and nicotine) in the past but I guess I wasn't ready then. Also, language, words can be very powerful. I am glad there is someone who thinks along the same lines and is taking the same approach, it proves I am not a nutcase! :H What a coincidence about the Craig Ferguson thing though!

                  Byrdie, you are right. I feel unburdened, free. I went to the supermarket on the way home tonight. I walked straight past the cigarettes with a smile. I got my stuff and deliberately walked down the wine aisle on my way out. I actually had a smile on my face. There was a joyful little mantra going through my head that went 'I don't need you...I don't want you'. There was no sweating, no temptation. Wow.

                  Sam, you are proving to be a shining example of it, thank you.

                  GMan, it's a lie and the biggest con ever! It doesn't make you relax, it causes misery. It doesn't taste good, it tastes disgusting. So many people have fallen for that lie, it's a relief to be able to see it for what it truly is.

                  Gardener, say it loud and say it proud, I am glad it felt good!

                  My life, I loved what you said about joy instead of loss, I think that is integral.

                  I am finding joy in the things I used to before AL got a grip of me. This place has been amazing and such a great place to be to get my head straight.

                  Thanks everyone.
                  Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it! ~ Goethe

                  Comment

                    #10
                    My thoughts this morning

                    Hi, BHalo

                    I love all of your posts -- you are totally taking this on!!

                    I just noticed your join date of 9/2011. I had thought you just joined this month - 7/2013. So, I checked your posts (don't worry, I'm not a total creeper!) and do you realize that you have posted more since the beginning of July than you did from 9/2011 until then??

                    You seem to be the proof we need to convince people that one of the keys to getting this done is to post --- A LOT! I believe the very acts of thinking what you are going to say and typing it out for others to read helps you change yourself - just like saying them out loud does!

                    What made the situation different for you this time around?

                    Anyway, Congratualations on finding your path to an AF life! :h NS

                    Comment

                      #11
                      My thoughts this morning

                      What made the situation different for you this time around?
                      Thank you NS for your kind words, you are always such a supportive poster. You are right, I have been here before, each time I would stop posting when I fell off the wagon again.

                      In answer to your question, obviously I have been more active here than any other time before. This time is different.

                      Before, I would tell myself I was 'trying to quit' I was 'doing my best' 'giving it my all'.

                      For long periods of time I could function normally, even when drinking 1-2 bottles of wine a night. There was the occasional binge, nothing major.

                      This year I have had two big binges. The last one, right before this quit was the worse ever. I was drinking a bottle of spirits a day for almost a week. I phoned in sick and basically just drank for 5-6 days, I can't even remember. I then had to take another week off because the withdrawals were so bad my doctor said I wasn't fit to work.

                      That's when I logged in here. That's when I thought, what's next, the DT's? Death by falling down when drunk or having a heart attack when withdrawing? There is no upward spiral, is there?

                      So this time I approached it differently. There is no 'try' only 'do' as a wee grey alien once said. I made lists. Benefits, drawbacks. Guess which list was the longest? Guess how many benefits there were?

                      I researched, everything I could about recovering positively. I meditate, I have chants. I retrain my brain on a daily basis about alcohol. I quit smoking at the same time using the same method. And of course I used this place daily.

                      I know for sure now that if I drink I am going to die a premature death, because I just do not have it in me to stop at one or two.

                      This place, the Nest in particular has been invaluable. The advice the examples and the encouragement are just amazing.
                      Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it! ~ Goethe

                      Comment

                        #12
                        My thoughts this morning

                        Once again BH our stories sound so similar. Like you I could function normally for periods of time and hold down a reasonable job, but every now and then I would just go crazy and take time off either because of drink or worse, to drink. Then I'd need time off to recover. Madness! But it's behind me now. I never want to go back to the horribleness of it all.
                        "I used to be on the guest list, but now I'm on the nest list!"

                        Newbies Nest:https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html


                        Toolbox:https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html

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                          #13
                          My thoughts this morning

                          B.H. - What a great thread -

                          It's because of people like you (Sugar, and LOTS of others too!) That I got back on here yesterday after my month of downfall. I have a drinking history that has similarities. I had 3 AF weeks in June - and July was a wreck. I spent the last week in a strange detached drinking binge. It scared me. I didn't want to log back on - to start over here - but I knew this is the best chance I have.

                          I have a long way to go - but I feel like I've woken up to really knowing I don't want to go through this .... starting over .... ever again.

                          Thank you to you and all of the posters here! :l
                          Put your hands over your heart - and tell yourself that you are going to guard this essence of who you are with everything. Alcohol opens us up to darkness and depression instantly. You choose love today. Guard it by keeping the poison out of your body. It IS poison.



                          NF - May 2, 2013 (cig free Jan. 25, 2013)
                          AF - July 31, 2013
                          :lordhelpme:

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                            #14
                            My thoughts this morning

                            Broken halo, you are so right. Sober now for 3 years after drinking for 42. I have proven to myself that I am better off without booze. Congratulations on the 26 days, rootin for ya.
                            Success is making yourself do the thing you need to do, when you need to do it, whether you like it or not.
                            If you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything.

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                              #15
                              My thoughts this morning

                              BH......sometimes I read old posts too. No one in particular....but randomly....and the story never changes for those consuming alcohol. And I have yet to hear anyone sober for 30 days or 30 years say how their life shiity their life is without alcohol. Freedom from our prison.

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