New and Scared

[Trixie016]

Hi Guys

Took a while but finally able to admit I have problems with alcohol abuse.

I had my worst ever hangover the over day and i was so scared i was about to die its shocked me into doing something about my drinking. I've suffered anxiety and panic attacks for over 3 years now and gradually have starting drinking more to ease my stress.

Truth is, I have been drinking since the age of about 13 and i'm now in my 30's. It started with a couple of bottles of cider at the weekend with friends and now i'm onto 2 to 3 bottles of wine and bottled beer to go with it 2 to 3 times a week. I don't even recall ever going a week without a drink since i was young. I dread what I have done to my body but am terrified to speak to a doctor. I have had some big family issues over the past month which has contributed to stress. I come from a long line of drinkers in the family so seeking help off them is hard. I have noticed my hangovers getting worse and worse each time i drink but yet I buy more and more drink every time I decide to have session. My symptoms the following day are usually the rapid heart rate, tingling body, hard to breath, cramps all over body. This lasts all day long and I'm starting to wonder if it is just panic or am i starting to get signs of dependence instead? Is my body now craving alcohol.

The other night i decided yet again to have a drink in the house. I had a few bottles of wine, a bottle of ready mixed cocktail, various flavored ciders and bottles of beer. The next day was terrifying. I spent all day in a panic state with really bad chest and abdominal pains. When i went to bed that night i was getting like and electrical pulse/buzz or something in my head every time i shut my eyes. I'd never had this before. Its scared the hell out of me. I've got to the point that i'm terrified my next drink will kill me but don't know if i can stop my self from hitting the bottle. I haven't touched anything since Wednesday but now i'm feeling fine again i'm frightened its only a matter of time before i'm reaching for a bottle (or three) again. Any one experienced similar to me or can offer some sort of help of advice? :upset:

[moni]

New and Scared

Hi Trixie and well done on taking your first step to help.
This time last year I was drinking like you are now. I was on 2 bottles of wine a night. I was struggling to get up the next day, drive a long journey to work and maintain a stressful job.
Last November I quit after a rather frightening incident and I've never looked back. The first few weeks were not easy and it took a hell of a lot of willpower. That's exactly what it was though, willpower and deciding to change things for me. I took it one day at a time. The days turned into a week, then two weeks and so on. This site was invaluable to me for support too. Please stay onboard and take all the support you will get. It is possible to change this nasty cycle.

[Lavande]

New and Scared

Hello & welcome Trixie

Glad you decided to join us!
Sounds like you made the right decision & have a good start. I well remember the anxiety & panic created by AL, it was horrible. That's all history now & I will never put myself back in that hell.
Life is much better without AL

Please drop in the Newbies Nest thread for more support!
Have you read the MWO book yet? It's in the health store here on the site.

Wishing you the best on your journey!

Lav

[Trixie016]

New and Scared

Thanks for your replies - feeling alot more positive now i've finally admitted that i have a problem. I am completely functional and never miss a days work or anything so I've convinced myself that my drinking is just me letting off steam but once I start I just cannot stop. Its going to be very difficult quitting as my whole social network are big drinkers. I decided to treat myself today and went to the gym and then relaxed in the spa - I have also bought some non alcoholic bucks fizz to enjoy tonight. Trying to think positive and remember what it was like to wake up feeling fresh on a weekend again. I will pop in to the newbie room and I will check out this MWO book aswell. I actually downloaded a few other help books on my kindle the other day aswell so I am reading my way through them also.

[YouKayBee]

New and Scared

Hi Trixie

I was more of a binge drinker except it did start to affect work and even social things, I also had some of the side effects you describe.

Well done on checking in here. One thing I'd caution against is trying to directly replace drinks, sure there are alternatives to alcohol but I'm concerned you are 'rewarding' youself with the bottle of non-al bucks fizz. Sometimes repeating the old behaviour can lead to you conning yourself into to doing the real thing.

[Miley]

New and Scared

Trixie....welcome!

I have to say that if you think your drinking is a problem, then it is......don't be fooled by not missing days from work, etc. I got caught up in the same way of thinking, as I am sure many others have. It is dangerous to think that way. I used to compare myself to everyone else and say things like "I am not as bad as so and so" and "I never drive while drinking" and "I only had one last night so I can control it"....what a load of crap I told myself over and over again.

Acceptance is a big part of getting better. I fought it for years and wasted so much time. You are only in your 30s....I am in my late 40s and wish I had come to this place in my 30s.

This is a great resource and the support is amazing. There is no judgement here and it is really easy to be yourself, even if you aren't ready to admit things to the world yet, you can come here and just be you.

Welcome and I hope to get to know you better!

[Trixie016]

New and Scared

I'm in no denial here. I know I have a binge drinking problem. Known it for sometime now, just finally choose to do something about it.

I am not under any illusion that this will be easy or a walk in the park. I just hope I am still here in a couple of days time and not crying down the end of a wine bottle 'AGAIN' and I wasn't looking at it as rewarding myself, just looking for better ways to pass my time and relieve some stress.

I want to take positive steps to change and looks like I will get some good help and advice on this site. Thanks again for replying.

[Neddy Merrill]

New and Scared

Trixie016;1539977 wrote: I'm in no denial here. I know I have a binge drinking problem. Known it for sometime now, just finally choose to do something about it.

I am not under any illusion that this will be easy or a walk in the park. I just hope I am still here in a couple of days time and not crying down the end of a wine bottle 'AGAIN' and I wasn't looking at it as rewarding myself, just looking for better ways to pass my time and relieve some stress.

I want to take positive steps to change and looks like I will get some good help and advice on this site. Thanks again for replying.

Hi Trixie and welcome to MWO. I drank like you but daily for close on thirty years.

I wish you well on your journey and would advise you to look in the newbies nest where you will find lots of people like us to support you and offer you advice.

The toolbox is also a good place to find hints, tips and strategies to stop drinking.

Good Luck

Neddy

[NoSugar]

New and Scared

Trixie016;1539977 wrote: . I just hope I am still here in a couple of days time and not crying down the end of a wine bottle 'AGAIN' and I wasn't looking at it as rewarding myself, just looking for better ways to pass my time and relieve some stress.
.

Hi, Trixie and :welcome:.

You can make the CHOICE right now to be here, not drinking, in a couple days, a couple weeks and a couple months. It doesn't seem like it right now because part of your brain is driving you to drink. But the other, healthy part of your brain can choose not to. The tools and support you need to make the switch are here -- you just need to do the work to use what is offered. It isn't easy but the actual solution is simple - Don't drink.

To accomplish that, stay close (The Nest, which others have suggested, is a great place to be at the beginning), read voraciously, and post often - at least once per day. Be accountable to not only yourself but also to those of us here. That commitment makes a huge difference. Spend the time you used to spend drinking on MWO. This will pass your time amazingly quickly and for me, it was a huge stress reliever not to feel so alone.

Other than meeting your personal and professional obligations, you need to make getting off alcohol your top priority. Be kind to yourself, treat and pamper yourself - do what ever it takes as long as you don't drink.

Hope to see you in the Nest !

[sweetpea29]

New and Scared

Trixie016;1539891 wrote: Hi Guys

Took a while but finally able to admit I have problems with alcohol abuse.

I had my worst ever hangover the over day and i was so scared i was about to die its shocked me into doing something about my drinking. I've suffered anxiety and panic attacks for over 3 years now and gradually have starting drinking more to ease my stress.

Truth is, I have been drinking since the age of about 13 and i'm now in my 30's. It started with a couple of bottles of cider at the weekend with friends and now i'm onto 2 to 3 bottles of wine and bottled beer to go with it 2 to 3 times a week. I don't even recall ever going a week without a drink since i was young. I dread what I have done to my body but am terrified to speak to a doctor. I have had some big family issues over the past month which has contributed to stress. I come from a long line of drinkers in the family so seeking help off them is hard. I have noticed my hangovers getting worse and worse each time i drink but yet I buy more and more drink every time I decide to have session. My symptoms the following day are usually the rapid heart rate, tingling body, hard to breath, cramps all over body. This lasts all day long and I'm starting to wonder if it is just panic or am i starting to get signs of dependence instead? Is my body now craving alcohol.

The other night i decided yet again to have a drink in the house. I had a few bottles of wine, a bottle of ready mixed cocktail, various flavored ciders and bottles of beer. The next day was terrifying. I spent all day in a panic state with really bad chest and abdominal pains. When i went to bed that night i was getting like and electrical pulse/buzz or something in my head every time i shut my eyes. I'd never had this before. Its scared the hell out of me. I've got to the point that i'm terrified my next drink will kill me but don't know if i can stop my self from hitting the bottle. I haven't touched anything since Wednesday but now i'm feeling fine again i'm frightened its only a matter of time before i'm reaching for a bottle (or three) again. Any one experienced similar to me or can offer some sort of help of advice? :upset:

Hi Trixie and welcome :welcome:

Well done on admitting your problem and doing something about it!

Like you I'm in my 30's and started drinking in mid-teens. It became progressively worse over the years culminating in major anxiety and panic attacks. Was still able to hold down a pretty intense job, pay bills, no encounters with the law etc.... but due to the progressive nature of this disease or whatever we may term it, I knew it was only a matter of time before sh*t would hit the fan. Also coming from a long line of drinkers have seen first hand the effects of alcohol abuse on people's lives. Not nice :no:
At just over 7 months off the drink, I no longer have to take beta-blockers for panic attacks, had been on them for years prior, still have anxiety but it's much more manageable now

You've received sound, useful advice from everyone already, would just like to echo NoSugar- the tools and support are here, stick around especially at the times you feel weak/doubting, read and read some more, and post Make being free from booze your No1 priority.

Best wishes to you and hope to 'see' ya about

[broken halo]

New and Scared

Welcome Trixie. Admitting you have a problem is a huge and important step. Please take heed of the advice of the previous posters, these guys know what they are talking about! Stay strong and welcome.

[witts end]

New and Scared

Welcome trioxide

It is hard at first but it does get easier.
Just do 1day at a time makes it easier to succeed
I tried the non al but found it gave me a false security (but was great around in social gatherings )
I would then reason it's okay I can have one.........but I couldn't stop at 1

Now I don't even like the taste of wine or smell after 2mths af......but you have to work out what is best for you as we are all different...........stay close to hear

[RitaNow]

New and Scared

Hi Trixie!!

Just thinking about what you described with your hangovers of late. I am reading the book UNDER THE INFLUENCE by Dr. James Robert Milam and Katherine ketcham and interesting enough ... just today was reading about the stages of alcoholism when you go from mid stage to late stage. They said that your body, which once built up a tolerance to Alcohol suddenly can't process it anymore and the revolt the body experiences is something like you just described. Hangovers become become beyond horrible. It's Alcohol poisoning.

Down load the book asap. I'm not a Dr. - but you may need a medical opinion. The book has shaken me out of a level of denial I didn't realize I was in. I was still in the ... "Oh it's not as bad as most people" .... and then I started reading Under the Influence. Ikes. Scared Sober as they say! I had a really good 3 weeks of not drinking in June - then July came and I threw away 3 weeks of hard work. I was so mad at myself I almost didn't give it another shot. Now I am 5 days Alcohol Free and ready to rock and roll for good.

You can do this with us. I think you are on day 5 with no alcohol. So am I. Hang in here and let's walk this Journey. We can do this!

Keep posting - keep reading.

[RitaNow]

New and Scared

How are you doing Trixie? We're here to support you!! Jump back in!