Curious to Know When Did You Stop Enjoying Alcohol?
My parents had just died unexpectedly, I was deeply upset and depressed. I was drinking as much as ever. That particular night was no different from any other to begin with. I had drank a bottle of wine, walked to the store for another bottle and on my way back stopped at a bar for a drink (and some company I guess). I had never done this on my own before. I had a few drinks there, left in a worse mood as I realised people were laughing at me behind my back. They had every right to, I was drunk. Got home and decided enough was enough and in a moment of 'I know what's best for me in this state' I swallowed a jar of sleeping pills. Half an hour later I sobered up a bit and realised what I'd done and called for help. Had I chosen a gun or to drive off a cliff - well I wouldn't be here.
That's all I remember of that evening. I was in hospital for 5 days. It was humiliating. I'm a respectable person, well educated and from a good middle class family but in the hospital once I came to I was treated no different than your average junkie on the street. There was no sympathy from the doctor in ICU. I assumed I had drank the other bottle of wine I had bought but when I got out of hospital that was still sitting unopened on the table. I gave it to somebody as a gift, got my ass on here and ensured I got a grip on my life. It was like that saying from a movie... get busy living or get busy dying. I had to choose one there and then.
At the time I had no perception of just how bad things had gotten because I was working and somewhat functioning. But things were dire looking back now. I functioned, just about and there was zero quality to my life therefore it did not feel like a life. I existed. It's only now I recall some really terrible moments due to alcohol and I'm only starting to recall the no. of times I lied and covered up. I've a very honest personality so to go to such extents lying in order to drink just proves what a hold it has over you.
Even writing this now, I guess I can say I was one of those people who really did hit rock bottom.
K9Lover;1543325 wrote: Wow Moni, that is awful. Was it alcohol poisoning or an accident that landed you in ICU? There were a few times that I probably should have been checked out after falling and landing HARD on my head. But of course the drunk me didn't want to bother with going to the hospital! I'm just lucky I woke up after those incidents.
That's all I remember of that evening. I was in hospital for 5 days. It was humiliating. I'm a respectable person, well educated and from a good middle class family but in the hospital once I came to I was treated no different than your average junkie on the street. There was no sympathy from the doctor in ICU. I assumed I had drank the other bottle of wine I had bought but when I got out of hospital that was still sitting unopened on the table. I gave it to somebody as a gift, got my ass on here and ensured I got a grip on my life. It was like that saying from a movie... get busy living or get busy dying. I had to choose one there and then.
At the time I had no perception of just how bad things had gotten because I was working and somewhat functioning. But things were dire looking back now. I functioned, just about and there was zero quality to my life therefore it did not feel like a life. I existed. It's only now I recall some really terrible moments due to alcohol and I'm only starting to recall the no. of times I lied and covered up. I've a very honest personality so to go to such extents lying in order to drink just proves what a hold it has over you.
Even writing this now, I guess I can say I was one of those people who really did hit rock bottom.
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