Utterly fed up

[Darkest Diamond]

For the last three months have really been trying to stop drinking. Have managed 3 weeks at one point, two weeks at another, several groups of 2 or 3 days. So this is progress as before this I used to drink every eve after work.

I hate the way it makes me feel. I wake up feeling incredibly sad, get frightened in the night, I hate the dam stuff.

I am fed up with having day ones and all the fear and darkness that drinking causes.

I am determined to do this, I will post my progress on here as that will be an incentive for me to stay on the right track!

[TJAF]

Utterly fed up

Diamond, you have come to the right place. Plenty of support with like minded people intent on an AF life. Welcome.

[broken halo]

Utterly fed up

Darkest Diamond;1544400 wrote: For the last three months have really been trying to stop drinking. Have managed 3 weeks at one point, two weeks at another, several groups of 2 or 3 days. So this is progress as before this I used to drink every eve after work.

I hate the way it makes me feel. I wake up feeling incredibly sad, get frightened in the night, I hate the dam stuff.

I am fed up with having day ones and all the fear and darkness that drinking causes.

I am determined to do this, I will post my progress on here as that will be an incentive for me to stay on the right track!

Day ones suck, DD! Remember how good it felt when you had those three sober weeks? Imagine feeling like that all the time! No more waking up in the night afraid, no more morning after sadness.

You can do this, believe in yourself! :l

[MossRose]

Utterly fed up

I wake up feeling incredibly sad, get frightened in the night, I hate the dam stuff.

This is the main reason I decided enough is enough. Well, and the fact that AL has cost me just about everything I love in life. I'm only a few days into my last quit, and feeling better already. Hang in there, Darkest Diamond. We can do this together. As the others have said, just remember how good you felt when you were living AF. So, please keep posting. I am still rather new here so I can't offer a lot of advice, but I have found that the more I post, the stronger I feel. Hope to hear from you soon.

[Siren136]

Utterly fed up

I used to wake up scared that I left one of my dogs outside. I always had to get up and make sure they were all in the house - terrifying!

[Miley]

Utterly fed up

DD....This roller coaster ride with AL sucks! Hang in there....one day at a time. You can do this!

[damo180]

Utterly fed up

Great idea Dd , try post and read everyday , especially for the next few weeks , i am back in early sobriety , but it does get easier , and the rewards are massive
Best of luck pal
Damo in Dublin

[satz123]

Utterly fed up

MossRose;1544439 wrote: This is the main reason I decided enough is enough. Well, and the fact that AL has cost me just about everything I love in life. I'm only a few days into my last quit, and feeling better already. Hang in there, Darkest Diamond. We can do this together. As the others have said, just remember how good you felt when you were living AF. So, please keep posting. I am still rather new here so I can't offer a lot of advice, but I have found that the more I post, the stronger I feel. Hope to hear from you soon.I love this MossRose - that says it all about where your head is at. LAST QUIT !:goodjob:
Siren136;1544442 wrote: I used to wake up scared that I left one of my dogs outside. I always had to get up and make sure they were all in the house - terrifying!

Take this Siren :l it's behind you now !

This is all great advice and we are / were all in the same boat.
You will not find a better / safer place to be.
Post & read every day - it's what saved me. Not immediately but the penny dropped after a few months - slowly - but dropped.
I too was a daily wine drinker..... but posting here daily - even nonsense - and reading I realised life can be lived without alcohol.
So you are ahead of the posse in having those bouts of sobriety - I didn't have them to start with.
Good luck in your journey !

[K9Lover]

Utterly fed up

Darkest Diamond;1544400 wrote: I hate the way it makes me feel. I wake up feeling incredibly sad, get frightened in the night, I hate the dam stuff.

I am fed up with having day ones and all the fear and darkness that drinking causes.

Same here! I got so tired of waking up SCARED...not even sure what I was scared of...maybe what I'd done the night before, or just the feeling that the world was crashing down on me. The anxiety was finally too much and I just had to quit. And I was doing it to myself! I'm sure you felt great during those 3 weeks, and you CAN feel that way again. It's good that you hate alcohol, I wasn't able to succeed until I really got mad AT alcohol and all it had done and taken from me.

Stick close to us...you can do it, we are rooting for you!

K9

[sanchez]

Utterly fed up

Welcome DD - I am too new hear to give you any advice, but I can give you support. You came to the right place. It's very safe, no judgement, just empathy for where we all have been and the support to keep you strong and moving forward. It's awesome that you were able to do three weeks - so you know you can do it. Do you remember what the trigger was that lured you to that first sip again?

Only 9 days into an AF life myself, but the feeling has been great and it's getting better every day. Eating better, starting to sleep better too, look and feel better, remembering better, energy better... No more sugar high at 3:00 a.m. to keep me tossing and turning until dawn with irrational thoughts running in my head about EVERYTHING.

Lots of support here - try to stay close!

[Darkest Diamond]

Utterly fed up

Thank you all for the lovely responses.

[Suesue]

Utterly fed up

I'm on day 3. I def am craving sugar ESP in afternoon. I'm a wine drinker. What's with the sugar thing?

[NoSugar]

Utterly fed up

Hi, Suesue

Eating sugar-containing or -producing foods will help with the AL cravings -- it is a good short-term tool for becoming AF. Use of L-glutamine can help with sugar or AL cravings as long as your kidney and liver are healthy and you don't have cancer. Your brain can metabolize sugar and L-Gln. Sugar also acts on the pleasure receptors in your brain that AL activates. It is less powerful, though, and our dopamine receptors have been decreased as a result of AL abuse, so the feeling of "need" for sugar might be intense and the amount needed to satisfy the feeling quite large.

Better yet, keep yourself FULL of nutritious foods and both cravings will be diminished. Try fruit instead of junk food when you feel the urge to drink. Miley mentioned grape juice as a tool - all juices are LOADED with sugar and likely would do the trick.

As a long term goal, eliminating added sugar (processed foods, including juice) in addition to AL from your diet could be instrumental in restoring your health; getting off both AL and sugar pretty much kills your desire for both. Some people even consider alcoholism an extreme manifestation of altered carbohydrate metabolism. So, getting all of it straightened out really helps.

But first: become comfortable in your new AF life. The other stuff can be addressed later.

All the best, NS