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    #1

    Lighbulb moment

    Not every shitty thing you do to someone can be attributed to alcohol. I am 40 odd days sober, but I can still be a total idiot to people I care about. Maybe AL has been my fall guy for too long. Maybe this goes a whole lot deeper than just blaming everything on addiction. Maybe I am just a crabby witch that uses AL as an excuse for treating people badly.

    I thought I was doing so wonderfully, today an honest friend told me I am not that wonderful. Thank you friend, I really mean it.
    Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it! ~ Goethe
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    #2
    Lighbulb moment

    :-(
    Don't be too hard on yourself xxx
    AF since Halloween 2016

    Trying to kill my Wine Witch! :smileyb:

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      #3
      Lighbulb moment

      BH, what do I know all I can tell you is reading your posts and the way you try and help others speaks volumes. Stay strong and stay true to your values. God bless

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        #4
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        BH, I don't think anything could be further from the truth. We bare our souls here and you have been nothing but supportive and a team player. Your friend should be smacked for saying such a thing. I find jealousy is often at the root of comments such as that. I'd try to ignore that and move on....Byrdie
        All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
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          #5
          Lighbulb moment

          Byrdlady;1544974 wrote: BH, I don't think anything could be further from the truth. We bare our souls here and you have been nothing but supportive and a team player. Your friend should be smacked for saying such a thing. I find jealousy is often at the root of comments such as that. I'd try to ignore that and move on....Byrdie
          Exactly Byrdie, couldn't agree more.

          The blooming cheeky mare.

          Oh and I meant to say the other day. I :h a bit of Mr Brightside to get me going in the morning. The coincidences keep on coming don't they.
          It could be worse, I could be filing.
          AF since 7/7/2009

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            #6
            Lighbulb moment

            [QUOTE=JackieClaire;1544977]Exactly Byrdie, couldn't agree more.

            The blooming cheeky mare.

            Oh and I meant to say the other day. I :h a bit of Mr Brightside to get me going in the morning. The coincidences keep on coming don't they.

            they do


            [/QUhttp://www.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGdGFtwCNBEyoutube.com/watch?v=gGdGFtwCNBEOTE[/video]]]
            ]



            I'm dancing AGAIN
            Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it! ~ Goethe

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              #7
              Lighbulb moment

              Halo I think that you've touched on an interesting phenomenon. Getting AL out of our lives opens up our eyes to the reality that was blurred. Of course none of us is perfect and we are all crabby witches at times, but we're human, we have good and bad days, we have moods, we are growing, learning. If your behaviour has hurt someone and it's been brought to your attention then you have been given the opportunity to correct it hopefully. Don't be so hard on yourself. You don't need that sort of negativity, let's turn it around.
              Newbies Nest
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                #8
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                :H:H:H
                All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
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                  #9
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                  hi bh,you seem like a nice,positive person,i dont know what happened between you and your friend,but sometimes people get used to our al personalities,i was always outgoing and carefree,laughed alot at nothing,sober im quiet,have more rules that i stand by with my son,dont hand out money to hubs and kids so freely,so yeah ive been accused of being bitchy a few times too,however im not being bitchy,im being realistic and in control,feels much better
                  I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

                  I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
                  Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

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                    #10
                    Lighbulb moment

                    BHalo, there is no way that your description fits the woman we know around here :l ! You are one of our brightest lights! I love your posts.

                    I think all of this raises an interesting point, though. When you are so overwhelmed with a particular problem, it certainly is easy to attribute everything to that problem. I know I did.

                    It was a cop-out on so many levels. I had no control over the drinking and I didn't even try to address other issues - much easier to just blame AL.

                    Although I'm kinder now, and definitely laugh more, I'm sure far from perfect :H ! But I know when I'm being aloof, or bitchy, or hyperemotional, or whatever, and although I don't always stop myself from behaving in those ways, I am aware of what I'm doing at the time and clearly remember                     what I said and did. So, of course there are situations that I will try to handle differently in the future and sometimes I regret how I acted or what I said but at least I am no longer wracked with uncertainty about what exactly transpired. And I don't say stupid, hurtful things that I don't even mean.

                    Of course we're not perfect just because we no longer drink but I bet we are all improved versions of ourselves who are now in a position to make the effort to be the people we want to be.

                    xx - NS

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                      #11
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                      I like your refreshing honesty. And your cheerful attitude. If you said or did something negative I am going to guess it was a natural reaction on your part. :l
                      No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

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                        #12
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                        Thanks everyone, I appreciate everyone's comments and support. However I guess I have to come to terms with the facts that although I might be sober, I am very far away from being little miss perfect and I have to take that on board and learn to deal with it. And try to fix it as best I can.

                        Thanks :l
                        Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it! ~ Goethe

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                          #13
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                          Well, I think you're lovely :hug:
                          AF since Halloween 2016

                          Trying to kill my Wine Witch! :smileyb:

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                            #14
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                            BH, None of us are perfect. Thats what makes us humans so interesting ! When I am off the booze, I become a quieter person and not that rowdy one, which must be annoying to everyone around me. WE can't change the past, but we can change how we act in the future. So don't be to tough on yourself. :l

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                              #15
                              Lighbulb moment

                              BH, you might not be miss perfect but perhaps your friend isn't mr perfect either. Sometimes people are too sensitive for their own good and need to deal with things in a more mature way. I know that alcohol has stinted my growing up and maybe that is the same with your friend. You have been a great friend to me and I don't like the thought of you being upset. You might not be miss perfect but to me you are miss wonderful! xx
                              "I used to be on the guest list, but now I'm on the nest list!"

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