Back Again

[hadit]

WHEN WILL I finally get it!!! I can't drink,not one. Had about 3 mths af this year and now I am back drinking heavier than ever. JUST can,t seem to say NO to that first drink!! So my plan is to post everyday to at least make me accountable to you guys. Thanks for listening guys.Just feel like sh.....t at the moment and totally beaten by this horrible addiction. Will post later.

[paulywogg]

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hi hadit,so whats going on? you were moving along so good,i read where you said youve been drinking more than ever,i think thats what happens when we quit and start up again,ive been on binges where ive drank amounts i never wouldve imagined drinking in my heavy,daily drinking days,im glad youre back,stay close

[hadit]

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Thanks Pauly. Guess I thought I could somehow moderate my drinking. How stupid can one get; I am an alcoholic!!! Lots of family pressures in my neck of the woods. I also had to ditch AB due to side effects. SOOOOO disappointed in myself and am really wondering IF I will ever beat this demon. Back to almost daily drinking again. There is just so much booze around. We ozzies will drink at anytime and anything; talk about a nation of drunks. We are up there with the best!! So here I am again looking for as much support as I can get. How are you doing Pauly ? I haven't been on MWO much to see what everyone has been doing.....just to ashamed at what I have become. (yet again) Thanks for listening.

[NoSugar]

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Welcome back, Hadit!

You truly fail only when you quit trying and here you are ... Back and ready to get this done !

GMS had a great post about the allure and failure of moderating today - you should check it out. What he wrote might really resonate with you. He also is ready to give up the moderation dream (nightmare).

You were a force on the boards, encouraging everyone, during your AF period this year. I'll bet all that posting was helping you practice what you were preaching.

Hope to see a lot of you in the coming days! NS

[3June2013]

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had it, years from now when you say to people that you quit drinking in the summer of 2013 no one is going to ask you how many times it took or how long it took. It's all part of your journey. When you're good and sick of the roller coaster you'll give in your ticket to ride and find a new thrill!

[little beagle]

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I love the way you said that 3June. I am happy to see you back. You are a major force for good here.

[broken halo]

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wb Hadit! One thing you never have to feel here is shame. We have all been there. Read the thread that NS suggested and get settled back in the Nest. We missed you, welcome back!

[hadit]

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Thanks Guys, Yep, back in the Nest again! Giving up posting here daily was a very wrong move on my part. So move over folks. I am squeezing my fat bottom in!

[Wine-no!]

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Hey Hadit, nice to see you again.
Sorry the modding didn't work out. I also thought I could do it but came back after about four weeks and am now back on track and have finally grasped that this is it - I have quit and can't drink again. Funnily enough, I am now finding it easier although am not dwelling on my non drinking future if you know what I mean...
Jump back in when you can - you will feel back in control in a day or two.
:hug:

[treetops]

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Welcome back mate! Come on the Aussies may be up there in the alkie stakes but so too are us Kiwis. but there are millions in both places who don't drink and that includes those who have quit the booze. It's winter in Oz now and as good a time to ditch the demon. I will be looking out for you

[GMS]

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Hi Hadit

When we fall from the big ship sobriety and are in the dark cold waters you see a life boat, on the side in big letters is MWO. If you reach out your hand, a hundred hands will take it and hold you. You know already that hauling yourself into the lifeboat takes the most effort and only you can do that bit. But we won't let go of you I promise.

Just as you have held so many others on here in the past.

I spent decades believing I was different somehow, my problem was only a bad habit was my favourite thought.

I once had an adult mind to child mind conversation with myself " if you don't drink in the week then you're allowed to drink in moderation at the weekends" I persuaded myself. "However one drink on a weekday and you've blown it, you will ruin everything". It was exactly how you may talk to a child who wanted more sweets. The perfect solution! But it doesn't work like that, not at all, unfortunately for all of us it sure doesn't work anything like that.

One question I've always struggled with is the cigarette quitting conundrum. What I mean is that no one quits smoking with the idea that somehow they can moderate later. Sure there's a few smokers who seem to be able to smoke the odd one but mostly the more time you go without a fag the better until one day you no longer think about them at all. Well that's my experience.

Anyhow Hadit welcome back and look forward to your wisdom once again. God knows I need all the wisdom and advice I can get.

God Speed GMS

[free at last]

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Dear Hadit,
So glad to see you back. I had been wondering about how you were doing.

GMS's comments about how no one quits smoking to only "moderate." reminded me of my epiphany during a recent holiday. If I were addicted to ice cream and eating a gallon or even a quart every night, no one would say "it's ok to eat ice cream every day, but keep it to a pint." Same with potato chips. Really made me think how screwed up western society is when it comes to how alcohol is "ok." For me, it's a drug. Not doing it anymore.

Look forwward to your posts, Hadit. NoSugar is right -- you are a force of positive energy on the boards.