What are the odds?

[broken halo]

I was thinking last night about the years I spent gambling with my health without consciously acknowledging it. I drank too much, smoked too much, and just generally abused my body without really thinking about the potential damage. Smoking and drinking both raise cholesterol and blood pressure. I wasn't content to gamble with just one of those vices, I did both! What on earth was I thinking?

I gambled on a stroke, a heart attack,serious liver and kidney damage, lung cancer, increased risk of breast cancer, the list is endless. I did that to myself on a daily basis.

Yet here I am. I am sober for 48 or 49 days, I am losing track. Touch wood, I am healthy, reasonably fit for a woman my age. I have lost a lot due to my vices. I have suffered loss of dignity and self respect when drinking, financial loss, making an arse of myself in front of people I care about, self hatred, all of that and more.

Yet miraculously, after putting my poor body through all of that I am healthy and fit. I am able to exercise, work, and enjoy life. Some people haven't been so lucky. Some have suffered irreversible damage. Some have died.

I am truly grateful that in comparison, my losses look rather insignificant.

I am cutting my losses, no more gambling with the most precious things of all, my health. my life.

I am looking forward to being a winner on my own terms, no more gambling, only making the right choices from now on. Who's with me?

[Mein Sonnenschein]

What are the odds?

OMG Broken Halo, I have had this thought many times! Especially after waking up after a nighttime binge when I was alone. How many times could I have been close to AL poisoning? That is something I never want to experience again.

[Guitarista]

What are the odds?

Hiya Halo.

The odds are well in your favour i reckon. The liver is an amazing organ. Keep treating it right as it has a huge impact on everything else as you know. And keep treating you right. Take good care of your mental, physical, emotional, spiritual health.

You are kicking ass my friend. There are no limits. Your potential is limitless.

G bloke.

[Miley]

What are the odds?

I'm with you BH....it's funny that I was just thinking about the same stuff yesterday and then saw your post this morning. I had never had high blood pressure but had an incident back in March that sent me to the hospital in an ambulance. My blood pressure was so high that my doctor thought I was going to have a stroke.

I got put on BP meds for the first time in my life. Was that enough to stop me? Of course not because this addiction is a nasty little beast. However, it brought me to MWO and made me start taking the turn that I need to toward a healthier life. I am thankful for every day that I am able to get up and move. I have started going to the gym at least 4 days a week because I remembered when I couldn't go back in March.

Everyday is a gift and our bodies are an amazing miracle that we need to take care of and not take for granted. I am in relatively good shape for my age (could lose a few pounds....wine weight). We are lucky that we started catching this before it got worse and we need to keep on moving in the right direction....you are doing awesome!

[NoSugar]

What are the odds?

Good topic, BHalo!

The contradiction between drinking too much daily and being something of a health nut in almost all other aspects of my life didn't escape me, even at the worst of times. I also took Advil PM to sleep and more Advil in the morning in an attempt to feel better. I have no idea why my liver tests were never abnormal.

The thing is - I used my apparently good health to fool myself for too long that I was fine, that my drinking wasn't that bad, that I was such a healthy person, I could handle what might be a problem for "other people" and on and on and on. What a bunch of bull. Thank goodness the feelings of dullness and lethargy and my lack of enthusiasm about anything finally caught up with me and I could no longer convince myself that I was 'doing fine'.

The human body is remarkable and deserves much better care than most people give it. It seems like many people here are making sincere efforts to take care of themselves in all respects as they become AF. So, there is one of those silver linings we can find!

Hope you had a great day! :h NS

[vegan]

What are the odds?

I know exactly what you mean! I'm suprised i didn't just die in my sleep one night. I feel so ashamed how much i abused my poor body and there's people in the world who are fighting to live through horrendous diseases that aren't their fault. I used to drink into a blackout every time whilst chain smoking cigarettes. My BP was soooooooo high. Dangerously high and went on medication. Of course the tablets didn't work because i carried on smoking and drinking. I think about how much i adore animals and am obviously a vegan yet i didn't care about myself or if my body was suffering. I am now on day 97 AF and i sit back and recoil in horror as to what i was doing. Luckily i stopped smoking nearly 2 yrs ago and my BP has stabilised to a reasonable level. I've lost 22 lbs and walk my dog 3 miles every morning. I thank god i'm still alive and i promise myself i will care about myself and i will look after my precious body. We all should
xxxx

[K9Lover]

What are the odds?

I've thought about this too and am amazed at the power of the human body to survive, despite what we are trying to do to it! I used to feel bad knowing there are people fighting terminal diseases that would do ANYTHING to stay alive, and there I was, overall pretty healthy, pouring poison and nicotine down my throat...in extreme amounts. One time I had pneumonia and I was sooo miserable that I promised myself "I will never intentionally do anything to damage my lungs, ever again!!"....well, fast forward a month to when I felt fine and there I was drinking and smoking again! That's the power of addiction, it makes no rational sense! I don't even want to think of all the nights that I probably shouldn't have even woken up the next day...now that's scary!

[Neddy Merrill]

What are the odds?

Hi BH, I think the same as you: I gambled with alcohol, cigarettes and other substances. I'm not sure if I told you this but I was at the doctor a few weeks back asking him to check my kidney and liver functions and yet, miraculously, after everything I have put my body through (nigh on thirty years of daily abuse) my organs are working extremely well - not too mention the fact that I have maintained my rapier wit and dashing good looks!

[MossRose]

What are the odds?

This is so interesting. I am another one who has managed to beat the odds. I am regaining my health rather quickly after giving up AL...and I drank daily for decades. In fact, I was given a clean bill of health at my last check up. I haven't heard that in years, so I was pleased. Surprised but happy.

As an aside, I was just talking with a co-worker. She just returned to work after four months of chemotherapy. She looks tired and frail. It really hit me hard. Here she is fighting desperately for her life, and I almost threw mine away.

I'm not sure why I have been given this second chance, but I intend to use it wisely.

[Byrdlady]

What are the odds?

Neddy Merrill;1546832 wrote: Hi BH, I think the same as you: I gambled with alcohol, cigarettes and other substances. I'm not sure if I told you this but I was at the doctor a few weeks back asking him to check my kidney and liver functions and yet, miraculously, after everything I have put my body through (nigh on thirty years of daily abuse) my organs are working extremely well - not too mention the fact that I have maintained my rapier wit and dashing good looks!

:H:H:H

[Neddy Merrill]

What are the odds?

Byrdlady;1546884 wrote: [/B]
:H:H:H

No wonder you are laughing, Byrdie. I know what you are thinking: how on earth could a witty, dashingly handsome teacher confuse "to" and "too"

[broken halo]

What are the odds?

Neddy Merrill;1546949 wrote: No wonder you are laughing, Byrdie. I know what you are thinking: how on earth could a witty, dashingly handsome teacher confuse "to" and "too"

Now I am laughing, I never even noticed that :H

thanks for the responses everyone. It seems we have all had lucky escapes, we are lucky we can learn from them and never go back to making those same stupid decisions again.

I am ashamed to admit that when I was drinking I never even thought about the point a few of you have made about feeling guilty when comparing myself to people with serious illness to battle. That's how selfish and deluded I was.

[Neddy Merrill]

What are the odds?

I have been thinking a lot lately about how easily my problems can disappear when juxtaposed with others' difficulties. My illness is in remission as long as I don't take a drink. How many people who have other illnesses would wish for such a comparatively easy and simplistic cure?

[NoSugar]

What are the odds?

Neddy Merrill;1546955 wrote: I have been thinking a lot lately about how easily my problems can disappear when juxtaposed with others' difficulties. My illness is in remission as long as I don't take a drink. How many people who have other illnesses would wish for such a comparatively easy and simplistic cure?

I used to think about how if I ever had to go through chemo and it made me sick, as it does so many, how I was going to really regret my mornings of self-inflicted nausea. It is amazing how much we seemed to know at some level but just couldn't take the necessary actions to do the right thing for ourselves for so long.

[3June2013]

What are the odds?

BH thanks for the reminder. We're given one body ( this time around depending on your belief) and we've kicked it around for a long time. I too am lucky that I have no permanent damage. I'm not going to run that risk any longer.

Neddy you're a riot!