Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

High Risk Behavior and Bingeing :(

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 2
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 template Next
    #1

    High Risk Behavior and Bingeing :(

    Hi. Well, I found this website today and have been reading through some of the message board postings. I am glad I found this place. All the problems in my life are associated with my alcohol consumption. I am not an everyday drinker, but I have come to realize that every time I have one drink I am "rolling the dice"...and 9 times out of 10, one drink leads to ten or more drinks and bar hopping. Money spending, drunk driving occasionally, eating unhealthy food, massive hangovers, guilt, apologies, and shame. I just become a completely different person when I have been drinking - saying and doing things I absolutely would never if not drunk. I got blackout drunk last night and made some serious mistakes. With technology what it is these days, god forbid someone took video or pictures of me last night without my knowledge. Today I had to lie, lie, lie to friends and family to "cover up" what I'd gotten myself into and make sense of why I did not make it home until the next morning. I just had a major "blowout" earlier this week that led to much regret, a massive hangover and lots of apologies needing to be made.

    I am putting an amazing career and amazing relationships at stake for alcohol. I do not know why I take these risks, and I scheduled an appointment with a therapist today. But, in the meantime I just want to hang out here to get some support and be around like minded people. I am just so bummed that my night was what it was last night, I ashamed...embarrassed...worried...I simply cannot remember much, which is never good. Cringe. :*(
    Tags: None
    #2
    High Risk Behavior and Bingeing

    Hi YC and welcome. I think it's safe to say that everyone here has experienced "those" kinds of nights. I've had many cringe-worthy moments while drinking which led me here. And luckily, you too It sounds like you have already been reading a bit, and now you have posted, so you are definitely on the right track. Have you checked out the Newbies Nest? It's a very busy, active thread where you can get some much needed support. I'm still a newbie myself, so can't give much good advice, but I can say that joining MWO was a great decision. It saved my life. Literally!! So read and post often. I'm so glad you are here.
    Everything is going to be amazing

    Comment

      #3
      High Risk Behavior and Bingeing

      Thanks Moss

      Comment

        #4
        High Risk Behavior and Bingeing

        Oh...and I should have mentioned that it gets a bit quiet around here on the weekends. So don't get discouraged, because several of us lurk here all weekend long. We're here for you.
        Everything is going to be amazing

        Comment

          #5
          High Risk Behavior and Bingeing

          Welcome yc. Sorry that you had such a bad night last night. That alcohol can really take control of us and lead us to do stupid things we really regret the next day.
          Just hang out with us for awhile.
          I know I've been in that same place you are at.
          No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

          Comment

            #6
            High Risk Behavior and Bingeing

            Thanks Moss & Beagle ... Just trying to reclaim my sense of self worth ... Not easy at the moment!

            Comment

              #7
              High Risk Behavior and Bingeing

              Hi YC and welcome. I could have written your post myself! I was just thinking about some of my cringe-worthy moments this morning....yikes! The good thing is that you recognize that you have a problem and you came here for support....and boy will you get support. The people on MWO are the best. It's also good that you are going to see a therapist so that you can start to understand why you are doing this. Definitely read and post often as Moss suggested. I find myself reading and trying to post most days before I even head out the door for the office. It sets the tone for my day and keeps me focused. We are here for you!
              Miley

              "The moment you are ready to quit is usually the moment right before a miracle happens..don't give up"
              [COLOR=Magenta]Joyfully AF Since 1/22/14

              Comment

                #8
                High Risk Behavior and Bingeing

                YC - I am going to go out on a limb here, but I am assuming that you are feeling ashamed and loathe how you behaved last night. I really don't need to know the details (although you are always safe to tell us ANYTHING here) because I guarantee you, whatever it was that you did. I have probably been there. I'm not proud of that, but it's so true.

                My only advice tonight is to practice some some self-care. Maybe a hot bath, lots of fluids (non-AL of course) and even a good cry, if that's what you need. I promise you, tomorrow will be a better day. We'll be here for you. You do not have to go through this alone.

                Are you going to be ok tonight? I'll be up for a while, so talk if you need to.
                Everything is going to be amazing

                Comment

                  #9
                  High Risk Behavior and Bingeing

                  Hi YC,

                  Just 20 days back I was in exact same situation. I had done crazy things including the worst things which let to my arrest under DUI. But even that didn't made me sober. Until I found this website. Sharing your thoughts on daily basis helps. And then there is a fantastic community here which we support you.

                  Don't make long term promise. Start with one day at a time no AL today ... And after 2 days you will start feeling absolutely great and proud....

                  We are all with you
                  Rahul
                  --------------------------------------------
                  Rewiring my brain ... done ...
                  Updating brain "attitude" firmware ... done ...
                  Rebooting ... done ...
                  Restarted program called "Life" ... started successfully ...

                  Comment

                    #10
                    High Risk Behavior and Bingeing

                    Welcome YC.

                    You sound like me. Keep on this. Trust me. I have been drunk once in the last 8 weeks, and that night made me feel terrible with all my old ways returning. But progress was not hit too badly.

                    You will improve as a person AF.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      High Risk Behavior and Bingeing

                      Hey Cayenne

                      Welcome, you're in good company here. I was more of a binge drinker and you have used exactly the same phrase I used to to describe my drinking. Might as well "Roll a dice" was what I would say about the consequences of my drinking. I am still carrying those consequences, luckily so far people can see the change in me and I'm being given a second chance. It's not easy though I'd heavily recommend limiting what you do asap, and the best way to do this is by going AF.
                      I used the Sinclair Method to beat my alcoholic drinking.

                      Drank within safe limits for almost 2 years

                      AF date 22/07/13

                      Comment

                        #12
                        High Risk Behavior and Bingeing

                        Thanks all. Thanks for making me feel like I am not alone Miley. I got to sleep yesterday, so that was good - thanks for asking Moss. As far as knowing more about what happened with me earlier this week...I spent the night somewhere I should not have...cannot bring myself to give too many details....and honestly feel like I was taken advantage of. By a member of the governing group at the school I work. I do not remember a lot. But this person has a history of wild bahavior, and I knew better. I just hope X did not capture anything on camera. This person pretty much makes or breaks my career and image among faculty and the administrators. I am in a really good spot right now, just not sure why I would do something so wreckless and potentially harmful. I have spent 6 years developing my standing and finally got the sponsors I wanted. It is a lot to potentially throw away. I am also worried because my drinking led to some extremely cringe worthy boastfulness, and some wildly broken wine glasses....just basically seeking attention I guess, wanted the spotlight, and really hit the alcohol way too hard. I am already wondering again how I will get through various social and faculty functions without alcohol....because its so socially forced...say a rugby match, we all go out and sit in a faculty box together and it's a time to "team build" and get in good with the "right" people. I just can't imagine sitting all day with no beverage in hand. Crazy right? The only way I can get through this is definitely one day at a time - so that's for that suggestion Rahulthesweet.

                        Good comment Londoner, it is crazy how good my life gets without alcohol, and then it is only a matter of time before I roll the dice and hurt myself or someone else. Thanks for the support all.

                        Comment

                          #13
                          High Risk Behavior and Bingeing

                          Hi YC Welcome :welcome:

                          This is one of my favorite threads to remind me where I never want to be again and also that I am not alone in this journey...

                          https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...unk-58660.html

                          Will write more but have the most ferocious head cold today...yuk

                          Stay close and check out the tool box and newbie nest links in my signature if you hasn't already,
                          :l
                          On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
                          *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
                          https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
                          https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

                          Comment

                            #14
                            High Risk Behavior and Bingeing

                            Thanks guys....wow....so many bad decisions when drunk...

                            Been flirting with my boss when drunk, and had the idea this person was flirting with me. I then told boss to leave partner so we could "hook up". Boss was "umm no" and "watch your mouth". Later was able to smooth this out thank god...but Cringe.

                            At a holiday party a year ago I got smashed infront of my subordinates...one of them was brand new, another very conservative. I could not even stand and do not remember leaving! I do recall blurrily telling one of their partners how much they reminded me of myself at their age. Wow. Yuck. Ego. Lot of respect they must have had for me the next day, luckily I have been able to rebuild their confidence.

                            Confronted a co-worker while drunk about an issue we were having on a project, and felt like they weren't pulling their weight. Told my boss this co-worker was jealous of my good looks and confidence. Double cringe. I would never say this stuff sober....I don't even have high confidence! Attention seeking...

                            Driving drunk...running traffic stops, endangering others, running into things, multiple car fixes due to drunk driving...

                            Sleeping around, blacking out, aggression...crying about no one loving me at 2am in the morning at a bar with superiors at work. Embarrassed much? The list of course goes on...a long ways....

                            Comment

                              #15
                              High Risk Behavior and Bingeing

                              Yellow, there's a great thread here called, "you know you're an Alcoholic when...." I'll go bump it up for you. It's a good read, you'll laugh and cry. The things that AL brings out in us is just awful. But you know what? The past is the past, and from this point forward you can write a new ending. You CAN earn peoples' trust and respect back!! Let me go dig out that thread for you!! Hope you are feeling better today! Byrdie
                              All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
                              Tool Box
                              Newbie's Nest

                              Comment

                              Previous 1 2 template Next
                              Working...
                              X