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    #1

    Coming Clean

    I blew it again last night, after two weeks AF. I know what my trigger was and as much as I don't like it, I have figured out how to deal with it. More counseling, more daddy issues to deal with, blah, blah, blah. Very painful stuff but I must deal with it. The good news is that once I realized what I was doing, I took the wine into the bathroom, dumped it in the toilet and flushed....I just wish I had done it earlier because I am not feeling too swift today.

    I am praying that something resinates with me this time so that I don't have to keep starting over again. My counselor told me yesterday that this is a process but honestly, I am ready for this to be over, my patience is wearing thin.

    I have decided to reward myself with a new purchase for my wardrobe for every 10 days that I make (max $50.00). I would have spend that much or more on wine anyway.

    I am sorry to disappoint all of those that have been so helpful and I am asking you to hang in there with me....I need the support and I appreciate and love all of you.
    Miley

    "The moment you are ready to quit is usually the moment right before a miracle happens..don't give up"
    [COLOR=Magenta]Joyfully AF Since 1/22/14
    Tags: None
    #2
    Coming Clean

    Miley;1548024 wrote: I blew it again last night, after two weeks AF. I know what my trigger was and as much as I don't like it, I have figured out how to deal with it. More counseling, more daddy issues to deal with, blah, blah, blah. Very painful stuff but I must deal with it. The good news is that once I realized what I was doing, I took the wine into the bathroom, dumped it in the toilet and flushed....I just wish I had done it earlier because I am not feeling too swift today.

    I am praying that something resinates with me this time so that I don't have to keep starting over again. My counselor told me yesterday that this is a process but honestly, I am ready for this to be over, my patience is wearing thin.

    I have decided to reward myself with a new purchase for my wardrobe for every 10 days that I make (max $50.00).     I would have spend that much or more on wine anyway.

    I am sorry to disappoint all of those that have been so helpful and I am asking you to hang in there with me....I need the support and I appreciate and love all of you.
    What a GREAT idea!! I'll do it too. I've been doing just OK - daily drinking but very small quantities. I want to be completely done.

    Edit: Oooo - maybe we can post pics of what we bought??
    Well it's all right now. I've learned my lesson well. You see you can't please everyone, so you've got to please yourself.

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      #3
      Coming Clean

      You haven't disappointed anyone here - just yourself. After last night, I can totally relate to that feeling. But you caught yourself in time, poured out the wine, and posted. That means you are already back to quitting. You mentioned in an earlier post that we seem to be in this together. It's does seem that way, doesn't it? Right from the very beginning. We tend to fall down at about the same time. So in the future, let's lean on each other when we are tempted and keep each other strong and moving forward. We can do this, Miley. xo
      Everything is going to be amazing

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        #4
        Coming Clean

        Siren....excellent idea! 10 days from now, we will post pics of our new purchases!!!

        Moss - We should probably start posting when the urge hits us. That way we can lift each other up before we take the drink. We can do this....both of us seem to really want it.
        Miley

        "The moment you are ready to quit is usually the moment right before a miracle happens..don't give up"
        [COLOR=Magenta]Joyfully AF Since 1/22/14

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          #5
          Coming Clean

          Miley;1548024 wrote: I
          I am asking you to hang in there with me....I need the support and I appreciate and love all of you.
          You know how when you find a great new author or music group or eating plan or exercise routine or something like that that you just love and want everyone you care about to have the great experience? Living AF is like that - it is wonderful - and I want everyone here to share in that joy. I would never give up on someone who wants to make this change :l. NS

          PS Can't wait to see the wardrobe additions!

          Comment

            #6
            Coming Clean

            Counselling - things often get worse before they get better however you need a plan to deal with the drinking until you get the emotional stuff sorted. You sound a bit stressed, do you need to take more time out for yourself?give yourself space?
            I used the Sinclair Method to beat my alcoholic drinking.

            Drank within safe limits for almost 2 years

            AF date 22/07/13

            Comment

              #7
              Coming Clean

              Hey Miley, don't be too down - every single person who is on this site knows what you are going through and will stand side by side with you. You are now regrouping and moving forward. Great stuff!
              "I used to be on the guest list, but now I'm on the nest list!"

              Newbies Nest:https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html


              Toolbox:https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html

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                #8
                Coming Clean

                hey Miley .... we have all gone through it .......it will take time
                If I'd been to the councillor .....it would bring up all those feeling and emotions and I would have drunk to
                At least your still here .........thats the main thing

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                  #9
                  Coming Clean

                  Thank you, NS, UK, Neddy and WE.....you guys are the greatest.

                  UK...I think you are right. I need a plan to not drink so that every time something upsets me I don't go running to the bottle.
                  Miley

                  "The moment you are ready to quit is usually the moment right before a miracle happens..don't give up"
                  [COLOR=Magenta]Joyfully AF Since 1/22/14

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Coming Clean

                    Miley - honestly, you will stop drinking when you finally get sick & tired if it, I did!

                    You do need to plan ahead.
                    First of all - completely take drinking off the table, make it no longer an option, ever!
                    I vowed to buy no more, never step foot in another wine store & I haven't.

                    Decide ahead of time how you are going to handle your drinking triggers. The next time you are angry, sad, lonely or whatever it is that causes you to reach for a drink - what are you going to do?
                    I chose distracting myself by going for a walk, stopping whatever I was doing at the time & doing something completely different, make a cup of decaf green tea, listen to a guided meditation & mostly use the MWO Hypno CDs.

                    Don't buy another bottle - ever
                    You can do this - I did!!
                    AF since 03/26/09
                    NF since 05/19/09
                    Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Coming Clean

                      Miley,
                      You've let no one down but yourself, as I have many times.
                      Now, You're back, I'll stand with you anytime. Yes, pat yourself on the back, hope it's cute, LOL!

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Coming Clean

                        Miley you are very brave going for counselling and sorting through the past pain. Give yourself credit. Maybe get some chocolate or ice cream in the house for those weak moments?
                        Newbies Nest
                        Toolbox
                        My accountability thread

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                          #13
                          Coming Clean

                          Lav....you are so wise. Thank you for being here for all of us struggling. I think taking a walk is a good idea. Also, I didn't completely get all the weeds out of the garden yesterday. I left some, so I would have to do some weeding each night when I come home. I need a plan for this weekend. Three days can be a challenge, especially a Holiday weekend. I am going to make plans to keep myself busy.

                          Mr. V...thank you for the support. I am patting myself on the back...LOL.

                          June....I love the idea of chocolate! I need to find something to do while I am cooking dinner. Not only was the counseling thing a trigger this weekend but it all started while I was cooking.

                          I feel so much better today. Went to the gym for my class at 530 a.m......heading to the office. The weather is beautiful.
                          Miley

                          "The moment you are ready to quit is usually the moment right before a miracle happens..don't give up"
                          [COLOR=Magenta]Joyfully AF Since 1/22/14

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                            #14
                            Coming Clean

                            Glad you are feeling so much better today Miley, keep up the good work. Maybe get an exercise bike for at home? Could help during the weak moments, although perhaps not to be mixed with cooking. Maybe listen to some music?

                            Comment

                              #15
                              Coming Clean

                              Thanks Tea and welcome to MWO!
                              Miley

                              "The moment you are ready to quit is usually the moment right before a miracle happens..don't give up"
                              [COLOR=Magenta]Joyfully AF Since 1/22/14

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