Name's Jake
So a little bit about me is probably in order, so here goes:
I am in my 20's and from a small town in the rural midwest. I was always the nerd in high school (and still am) and never so much as touched a drink until I got to college, which consequently was located in a huge metropolis compared to my home town of 900 folks. In college I always did well as a student during the week, but I went like a banshee on the weekends. Sundays during undergrad were normally spent in a darkened dorm room in "recovery mode" from my 2 nights of partying, and then I would go on about my week as normal.
This pattern continued with military precision for the 3 and half years I spent as an undergrad (I am a creature of habit), and then I decided it that I did not want to grow up yet so I wanted to stick around and get a masters degree in CIS (Computer Science and Information Systems). The workload of grad school made my previous regimen nearly impossible to maintain. I got drunk on rare occasions on long weekends or on breaks like Xmas, Spring Break, etc. but I pretty much kept it under control.
Not 2 weeks after I got my additional credentials, I got offered a position about 900 miles away from my home state and town for a tech start up that seemed really on the rise. Beings that I have an astronomical amount of student loans to pay off, and how abysmal the economy is, I jumped at the chance. I loaded up my car and drove up here, and after staying in a hotel for a couple of weeks before I could find my own place, I settled in and began work at the company as a mid-level manager in charge of development.
My problems with alcohol started again (I think) mainly out of being lonely. Being the new guy in a new town where the only people you know are co-workers sucks. I began just walking into bars near my place on fridays after work and chatting up the bartenders and getting smashed like the old days. Since I am lucky enough to have a loft right in down town where there are literally dozens of bars within walking distance, it was not long before I was the belle of the ball, at least I thought. I had been a broke college student for the last 5 and a half years, so actually having a significant income came with growing pains. I would buy rounds of shots for total strangers, wear expensive suits and neckties, buy escorts, nearly anything I could to make up for the fact that I did not, in truth, have a real friend in the world expect my old friends on facebook.
Fast forward to about 4 weeks ago and my weekends began to spill over into my week days. I would take a couple of shots in the morning to clear the shakes, and then the following week I was so smashed out of my mind, even on sunday, that I had to call out of work on Mon and Tues claiming sickness. Now I may not have been "sick" in the traditional sense, but I can assure you that I felt worse than I have ever in my life. I could not even hold down water without hurling it back up again. Even when I showed back up to work on wed. I was far from all right, and naturally, that was the day every friggin person on the planet had a problem they needed me for. I limped through until friday, after going the previous two nights with terrible insomnia that I got virtually no sleep.
That Sunday, I decided that I had had enough. This weekend is the first that I have been straight as an arrow since I have been here. So I have been sober for a whole 7 days now.lol Granted I spent nearly this entire weekend sitting in my apartment alone playing video games and playing on my Mac, but waking up on a saturday and actually seeing the sun without it hurting my eyes and my head hurting like somebody was hitting me with a sledgehammer was motivation enough that there is a world that exists without this "lifestyle"
Wan't to know another thing that is odd? All those supposed "friends" of mine? Not a one of them called me all weekend since I was not down at the bars, so I guess I am back at square one of when I first rolled into town, which also means it wont be long before I am lonely again. To curb this, I found my way here, and hopefully to another soul out there who will listen to my words and perhaps see a vision of themselves, or perhaps have empathy for my situation.
Well, that is my story, for what it is worth.
So a little bit about me is probably in order, so here goes:
I am in my 20's and from a small town in the rural midwest. I was always the nerd in high school (and still am) and never so much as touched a drink until I got to college, which consequently was located in a huge metropolis compared to my home town of 900 folks. In college I always did well as a student during the week, but I went like a banshee on the weekends. Sundays during undergrad were normally spent in a darkened dorm room in "recovery mode" from my 2 nights of partying, and then I would go on about my week as normal.
This pattern continued with military precision for the 3 and half years I spent as an undergrad (I am a creature of habit), and then I decided it that I did not want to grow up yet so I wanted to stick around and get a masters degree in CIS (Computer Science and Information Systems). The workload of grad school made my previous regimen nearly impossible to maintain. I got drunk on rare occasions on long weekends or on breaks like Xmas, Spring Break, etc. but I pretty much kept it under control.
Not 2 weeks after I got my additional credentials, I got offered a position about 900 miles away from my home state and town for a tech start up that seemed really on the rise. Beings that I have an astronomical amount of student loans to pay off, and how abysmal the economy is, I jumped at the chance. I loaded up my car and drove up here, and after staying in a hotel for a couple of weeks before I could find my own place, I settled in and began work at the company as a mid-level manager in charge of development.
My problems with alcohol started again (I think) mainly out of being lonely. Being the new guy in a new town where the only people you know are co-workers sucks. I began just walking into bars near my place on fridays after work and chatting up the bartenders and getting smashed like the old days. Since I am lucky enough to have a loft right in down town where there are literally dozens of bars within walking distance, it was not long before I was the belle of the ball, at least I thought. I had been a broke college student for the last 5 and a half years, so actually having a significant income came with growing pains. I would buy rounds of shots for total strangers, wear expensive suits and neckties, buy escorts, nearly anything I could to make up for the fact that I did not, in truth, have a real friend in the world expect my old friends on facebook.
Fast forward to about 4 weeks ago and my weekends began to spill over into my week days. I would take a couple of shots in the morning to clear the shakes, and then the following week I was so smashed out of my mind, even on sunday, that I had to call out of work on Mon and Tues claiming sickness. Now I may not have been "sick" in the traditional sense, but I can assure you that I felt worse than I have ever in my life. I could not even hold down water without hurling it back up again. Even when I showed back up to work on wed. I was far from all right, and naturally, that was the day every friggin person on the planet had a problem they needed me for. I limped through until friday, after going the previous two nights with terrible insomnia that I got virtually no sleep.
That Sunday, I decided that I had had enough. This weekend is the first that I have been straight as an arrow since I have been here. So I have been sober for a whole 7 days now.lol Granted I spent nearly this entire weekend sitting in my apartment alone playing video games and playing on my Mac, but waking up on a saturday and actually seeing the sun without it hurting my eyes and my head hurting like somebody was hitting me with a sledgehammer was motivation enough that there is a world that exists without this "lifestyle"
Wan't to know another thing that is odd? All those supposed "friends" of mine? Not a one of them called me all weekend since I was not down at the bars, so I guess I am back at square one of when I first rolled into town, which also means it wont be long before I am lonely again. To curb this, I found my way here, and hopefully to another soul out there who will listen to my words and perhaps see a vision of themselves, or perhaps have empathy for my situation.
Well, that is my story, for what it is worth.
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