New here

[Tom321]

Hi, I've lurked here for a while but was never able to pull the trigger as far as getting involved goes, probably out of shame or just plain being embarassed. I am 38, married to an amazing woman with 2 beautiful boys, 10 and 6. I come from a household of alcoholics, my father died a few years back from cirrhosis, my mother is still drinking now after years of sobriety. Despite growing up in the enviorment i did, i managed to carve out a life i am proud of. Having said that, i started drinking heavily a couple years ago. Attempted to quit many times, am currently taking campral. I used to be an everyday drinker but now, oddly enough, i only drink during the week but not at home and never on weekends. I recently went on vacation for 10 days with the wife and kids and was fine. More than fine..happy, but it's like once the work week starts the vicious circle starts again. Anyway, i have always found this forum amazing and just wanted to pop in. Thanks.

[K9Lover]

New here

Welcome Tom!
We're glad you've found us! Alcohol sneaks up on us in so many ways. I thought I was functioning pretty well...that is, until I quit altogether and realized that I was barely surviving each and every day. I could stop for 3-4 days here and there, but the mental addiction was strong. Sounds like you are in a similar place. Is your wife supportive of your attempts to quit? That will be a big help. You should head over to the Newbies Nest thread, lots of people post there, in all stages of their quits. It moves fast but don't be overwhelmed. Again, welcome and please stick around so we can get to know you!
K9

[Tom321]

New here

Hi, and thank your for responding. I have followed your threads closely for months. My wife is supportive..to a degree... I have really worked hard at this and still am. I exercise regularly, every werkend i come up with new strategies and plans and get everyones hopes up including my own, do well for a while and then slide back.

[Pinecone]

New here

Hi Tom,

I just want to welcome you and give you some support. It sounds like you have some really great reasons to quit. This place will provide you with TOOLS (see the toolbox thread under the monthly abstinence section) and SUPPORT (try posting in the newbies nest for lots of feedback). Those are the critical elements that this site will provide. It continues to be a huge help to me. I can really relate to having a great family life and a drinking problem I didn't want. Eventually the shame of not being the father/husband I could be crushed me to the point where I had to reach out for help. I'm glad I did! Alcohol free (AF) life is so much richer than a life of drinking. Glad you found us!

[K9Lover]

New here

I can't even count how many times I started over. You never fail as long as you are still trying, so please don't get discouraged. The thought of never drinking again...ever...is scary for most people, it was for me. But don't worry about that...just don't drink today. Once you have some solid AF time under your belt, it becomes so much easier. I didn't realize how sick I was until I started getting well...you may find the same is true for you, and when you do, you'll never want to go back. Staying busy makes it a lot easier! And of course posting and reading on MWO is a lifesaver!

[Tom321]

New here

Thank you both for the welcome. I do read these boards everyday, newbies nest, toolbox, etc. and like said i am trying, whether it be journaling, meditating, new hobbies, new workouts, reading, etc. i am always working at it..it just gets discouraging to wind up at ground zero. The main reason i posted on here today is because i figure i can use another tool and it has helped me alot constantly reading the threads here.

[Unwasted]

New here

Tom, just wanted to also say welcome.:welcome: Lots of good advice here already.

Best to you,
UN

[Tom321]

New here

Thank you. Much appreciated

[3June2013]

New here

Hi Tom welcome! Have you started working on a plan? If workdays are your trigger could you head to the gym after work instead of the bar? (assuming that's your routine)?

[Teabobaggins]

New here

Hi Tom, welcome! Well done for making this decision. I've found everyone on here to be really supportive.

[broken halo]

New here

Hi Tom, I just wanted to join the welcoming committee

It sounds as though you have a lot to fight for. Work does seem to be a trigger for you going by what you have said. Keep up with the exercise and meditation, I find they both work wonders. You are taking steps to try and fix things, keep at it. And keep posting too. I am rubbish at giving advice, but there are plenty here who are really rather good at it.

It's good to have you on board :welcome:

[K9Lover]

New here

So just to be clear...you don't drink at home, and you don't drink on the weekends? My extreme deduction skills are leading me to believe that you go to a bar every night after work (or somewhere else)? I was an at-home ONLY drinker so when people gave me the advice to "avoid the places you drank" it was a bit tougher for me, not impossible but it took some creative thinking on my part. lol

The best thing you can do for now is post here every day...whether you've succeeded or not. I was not able to get sober until I was finally, finally honest with myself. Make this your home thread and post whatever you want...we're a pretty understanding bunch!

[Tom321]

New here

Correct on all accounts..yes, i do drink after work..i have a very long commute, Ferry, train..so it is not difficult to grab a couple. It has progressed to the point where i take a longer lunch break than usual to drink..which really pisses me off..i have had the same job since i graduated school and i always took pride in it. I guess it doesnt help that the back exit of my office opens up to a strip of Irish pubs..but thats no excuse. And as far as exercise goes... I pretty much workout every day, most often at 5 am..and i leave my house feeling good, and confident..and then it all goes down the drain later

[Tom321]

New here

Broken Halo, thank you. If nothing else comes from your advice, i love the word "rubbish"

[broken halo]

New here

Tom, if there are Irish pubs close to where you work, is there a gym that you could sign up to and maybe work out after work rather than before it? It might help to change that up a bit if possible.