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[broken halo]

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Tom321;1549010 wrote: Broken Halo, thank you. If nothing else comes from your advice, i love the word "rubbish"

:H

[Suesue]

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Welcome Tom. Well done for taking this step.

[Tom321]

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Thank you...hopefully i lt is the last step i need to take

[sanchez]

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Hi Tom and Welcome!
Tagging onto 3J's question about your after work activities. Is it a co-worker/peer pressure kind of environment or do you go off by yourself. As 3J said, maybe a different after-work activity could help break the cycle. A work out, meet up with your wife for a weekday date night, an activity that all the family can partake in, evening classes perhaps or depending on your faith, some churches offer evening classes for the family. Just something different to break the habit. Are you happy in your job/career? Is that something you can change. Kind of brainstorming here, but thinking there is something rooted in your daily job routine that is triggering this urge to drink. And, as it does run in the family (like mine) there is something chemical in how our brains are wired to be more apt to become alcoholics - more so than others.

Sorry for babbling- stay close though - there are lots of folks here with all kinds of experience and tips and tricks for kicking this beast out of our lives. Just 20 days into being AF myself, but the clarity that has come with it already is unbelievable.

Stick around and post - it WILL help!
~Sanchez

[Tom321]

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Sanchez, yes..both my parents are/were alcoholics. My father died from it. And no, no peer pressure..i have always preferred to drink alone. My job is high stress..do i enjoy it? I used to..but not so much now, but here is the thing...i make a very good living...my wife never had to work, my kids go to great catholic schools..and that is more important to me than if i enjoy my job..i am good at it..does that count, lol?

[sanchez]

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Sure helps if you're good at it, but I found in my job while i didn't drink during working hours, the hungover mornings were not good for productivity or clear thinking. Working from home made it easier to hit the happy hour right at 5:00 too! Eventually it starting catching up with me. In the corporate world, for whatever reason folks still tend to schedule early morning conference calls in which I was trying to wake up and mostly silent. While I didn't want to admit it had an affect on my job, the truth was, it did. I was procrastinating more because I had a foggy head and with all the drink, confidence and self esteem issues were surfacing. I wasn't articulating things well. Was more and more afraid to give presentations/speeches (all due to the confidence issues) Also, seemed to have a harder time making decisions. Didn't get fired, but as time went on,that easily could have happened. I sure didn't like my job much and many of the folks I worked with and it caused a lot of stress which led to more al consumption at night and started the cycle all over again.

Anyway - we're here for you!

[Tom321]

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I can relate, Sanchez. 100%. It is a vicious cycle and i never wanted this to creep into my work.. But it has. And now it needs to be stomped, it's exhausting and demoralizing

[available]

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Like K9 i am a stay at home drinker, I dont want to make a fool of myself when I am out god forbid. Now i am changing my habits at home so that the witching our I normally start is spent cooking dinner or just doing little things. At the moment I am not ready to throw myself into the housework or anything too strenuous as I think i am mourning the fact I can never drink again, I am proud of making it through each day not drinking and watching the days get longer and getting the support of MWO. Everyone has a story and everyone struggles and I am so glad i stumbled (literally) across this site.

[Tom321]

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Available, I understand and I respect the way you are going about things.. I have always tried to do too much too fast and it backfires. Focus is key

[K9Lover]

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Good morning Tom!
How are you doing today?

[Tom321]

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Hi there. So far so good, I guess. Not feeling too confident and just pretty bummed out about this whole situation in general. This is around the time of day my discipline starts to crumble.

[K9Lover]

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What can you do to distract yourself and get through the craving? Each time you beat one you will get stronger. Don't let the alcohol start convincing you that it's "not that bad"...you don't want it anymore, show it who's boss!

[sanchez]

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Can you hit the gym or go run? Or, schedule a meeting? Something, anything to distract you and let you focus somewhere else? Surely there are new projects on your horizon - can you create a project plan? Or, go eat something - go get something healthy, or not. Can you take work home and tell folks you're going to work from home this afternoon?

[K9Lover]

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Is there a library nearby? Spend your lunch hour browsing the shelves. With all the electronic devices, people have forgotten how soothing the smells and sights of a library can be. There's nothing like a good book with actual pages that you can turn (not swipe!).

[sanchez]

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K9 - very good thought! Libraries do have that certain smell and ambience to them that brings back many memories.