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    Bailey coffee :(

    Just saw a baileys coffee photo. I love baileys coffee ESP at Xmas. Feel sadill never be abe to drink one again. Feeling a bit sad for what I can no longer do. Was thinking bout when I go out to eat in restaurants with friends they will all drink I won't. I'll feel a bit left out. I used to like getting a baileys coffee after as a desert. Can do that now. Just feel sad have to do this that I must make this all or nothing change. Part of my brain says sure baileys coffee will be ok cos it's wine you used to drink every night. Baileys is not part of your addiction. I can't take that risk I know. It must be all or nothing. Feel sad it must be so final.
    Drink free since 18 August 2013:h

    #2
    Bailey coffee

    Sue I feel the same. What happens when i go out, can i just have one wine, that wont be cheating surely! I dont drink spirits although I like scotch, maybe I can have one of those as like you I am a wine drinker. What do I say to people who know i drink a shitload about my not drinking? Its always in the back of my mind about how to handle a situation that I am not actually in yet. I think we should just take it one day at a time. It is devastating to lose a best friend, a lover, a companion but he is a total prick to get us to what we are now. We really dont need him in our life but it is so sad yes.

    But the positive is no hangovers, no embarrassing moments, no blackouts, no shakes, no anxiety, they are what gets me through
    AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

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      #3
      Bailey coffee

      hey Sue2

      I bet at one time or another, we've all felt the same, I know I have recently. I went to a music camp with friends that all drank, I did not and there was good beer on tap. I regretted it just a little and it was gone when I saw people not feeling so good the next morning... I then knew the deal. I enjoyed myself without feeling bad, I was in control, and remain so.... I hope for good.... that's the other part of this thing, always tempting, relentless bastard.

      Sam
      Liberated 5/11/2013

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        #4
        Bailey coffee

        There are some things that are an adjustment... don't let this negative thinking derail you. There are some people who will never see another sunset, or feel with their fingers, or who lose a spouse....don't let the thoughts of not drinking Bailely's pull you down. There are 10,000 other things you CAN do!!
        They make non AL bailey's coffee creamer, BTW.
        AL is AL don't be fooled in to thinking that letting this pass will do...it will not. I never had a problem with wine either, until that's all there was. One of the worst I've ever felt there at the end was my hangover on peppermint schnapps.
        Try and focus on good things, not being deprived. It really helps. Byrdie
        All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
        Tool Box
        Newbie's Nest

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          #5
          Bailey coffee

          Thanks all. Yes one day at a time and I'll focus on all the reasons I need to never drink again so many reasons. I've let alcohol rule my life for too long.
          I hate hangovers I hate the anxiety and shame the next day. it's not worth it. Migh look out for that al free baileys. Thanks :thanks:
          Drink free since 18 August 2013:h

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            #6
            Bailey coffee

            Sue, I felt this way and what helped was to get way more adventurous in my choices when eating out, explore the far recesses of the menu and try the most exotic things. Have fun discovering new treats, my current favourite is Vietnamese coffee which I'd never have thought to try before I gave up AL. Any lingering sadness can be flipped into "been there, done that, now for something completely different" and a whole world of choices opens up before you.
            AF since 15/11/2012

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              #7
              Bailey coffee

              Suesue - I understand completely. Yesterday, I was at a restaurant having lunch. It was a beautiful day and we were on an outside deck overlooking the water. It had been a very rough morning emotionally for me. And for slightly longer than I would have liked, I mourned my "loss." Wow...I couldn't have a glass of wine! But I took a deep breath and realized that I "could" have a glass of wine. I was just choosing not to order one. It might sound like a slight difference, but to me it was huge. Like Byrdie said, it's how we look at it. It's only deprivation if we choose to see it that way. But again, I truly understand. It's hard. Hang in there.
              Everything is going to be amazing

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                #8
                Bailey coffee

                Moss what did you have instead of wine? I dont want to have a wine but am not a coke drinker or really a fizzy drink person. I do like the "I choose not to have a wine although I could". Willpower i think but sometimes it is so evasive.
                AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

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                  #9
                  Bailey coffee

                  Iced tea with lemon. I've always loved it even when I was drinking, so it's my go-to summer drink now.
                  Everything is going to be amazing

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                    #10
                    Bailey coffee

                    I am partial to iced tea thank you for the idea. I loved it too when i was drinking, helped to quench the thirst the next day lol.
                    AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

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                      #11
                      Bailey coffee

                      I can think of a thousand deserts other than Bailey 's and coffee that will get the old pleasure center of the brain humming. Cheese cake, Molten chocolate lava cake, Banana Foster, double fudge brownies, yummmmm. Just splurge. Any other favorites out there.
                      Happiness is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that but simply growth, We are happy when we are growing.

                      William Butler Yeats

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                        #12
                        Bailey coffee

                        Liquer coffee was really an excuse to sneak another boozy drink in.
                        I used the Sinclair Method to beat my alcoholic drinking.

                        Drank within safe limits for almost 2 years

                        AF date 22/07/13

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                          #13
                          Bailey coffee

                          Chocolate is a great splurge. I honestly think of all I gain by not having al in my life. This really gets me past any regrets of not drinking al.
                          No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

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                            #14
                            Bailey coffee

                            This is the problem with any drug - your brain knows the 'highs' and real life will be compared to those drunk times of mistaken enjoyment.

                            Try the virgin cocktails in restaurants for drinks. I refuse to drink fizzy drinks - and so generally have a ice cold cup of water. Who cares? It's hydrating. And think of the extra 'baileys calories' you can replace with something else.

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                              #15
                              Bailey coffee

                              Londoner I was actually thinking of the non alcoholic cocktails, looks like you are drinking alcohol and keeps the masses happy
                              AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

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