Sat. night get-together

[retteacher]

Next Sat. I'm having some old friends for a get-together. My usual pattern is to fortify myself beforehand (while I'm preparing food) w/plenty of wine. When people come, I'm well on my way & buzzy. I have to concentrate on my speech to keep from slurring. Of course, it takes all the fun out of the evening, because I'm over-vigilant about myself. Our friends do not drink compulsively, and I usually manage to control myself while they're at my home. As soon as they leave, while I'm cleaning up, I usually wind down w/plenty of the left-over wine. I would like to break this pattern & enjoy the party sober. I know I can't have 1 or 2. I've tried that. I have had some successes in the past w/sober social events. I drink soda pleading a headache or hot flash or something. I always have a great time when I do that. I just never know whether I can do it or not. I'm going to try to make up my mind to do abstain next Sat. I'll keep reading & posting for strength. Thank you.

[tawnyfrog]

Sat. night get-together

Hi Retteacher -

Do you have the Kudzu? I find it a great help in situations like the one you describe. Taking 3 MWO capsules 3 times per day seems to help enormously.

Good luck. Enjoy the get-together. And you know, ... after a while other people don't actually care whether you're drinking or not.

[Guest]

Sat. night get-together

Reteach, what's so wrong with telling some one you feel like having a soda because your not 100% No one has to know about your MWO commitment until your ready to tell .After nearly 3 months I now tell people I can't because I am a problem drinker. In Dec of last year I'd rather you shot me than to admit that. As time goes on you become stronger. I choose moderation I am a 1-2 glass of wine a night drinker. So maybe it's easier said than done with me. As Tawny said take your supps. before hand and keep a PMA (positive mental attitude)
You can do it!!!
Mar

[888Katie888]

Sat. night get-together

that's a good idea to start telling people honestly why i can say no, usually i dont say no cause i'm afraid of them thinking i have a drinking problem, but of course i do, when i get home, i continue-it's not pretty. being honest might help me more than trying to hide it. that in itself is a habit-hiding the fact and thinking i'm getting away with something. maybe others will actually support me, and stop asking me to share a bottle of wine or pitcher of beer-for me it doesnt ever stop there-just order me a grape juice! please.

[ScoobyDoo]

Sat. night get-together

Can I add that I think it can sometimes be the people who have well disguised drinking problems themselves who will notice that you are not drinking... and isn't that a good thing to inspire them too )

Doo

[finally sober]

Sat. night get-together

This is my first post, and tonight is going to be the first time that my wife and I have gotten together with some friends of ours since I quit drinking. I drank heavily for 20 years. It sounds weird but depression saved me. One day I became so sad, because I realised that my drinking deep down controlled everything I did. When I really needed to put in more hours at work for extra income, I wouldn't because I had to grt home and drink. I love to hunt and fish. When I would get together with friends for my favorite activity, It would be a decision between drinking and having fun or not drinking so I could get up the next morning and do what I was really there for. Usually drinking won out and I would just cope with my decision but I was never happy about it. I got tired of being unhappy and not in control of my life. Now when my kids need me for anything I can be there. Before I quit drinking I wasn't. I would't drive after I had been drinking, so basically I was like a tied up dog after that first drink. I know this sounds like rambling, and it's probably because tonight is the first night my wife and I are going to our friends house with me on the wagon. I think I can be strong. My wife already told them that I had quit drinking. They thought it was great thsat I had, but I really have to wonder what partying with my friends is going to be like when they are all buzzzed and I'm standing there with an ice tea in my hand instead of a boubon with a beer chaser. I think I'll be okay, not bei ng tied up to that drink is worth anything to me now.

[julie001]

Sat. night get-together

I like your positive spin on depression. It really makes sense. I've been dealing with depression myself, and I think I'm going to adjust my thinking. It can be a good thing to feel so bad that you finally realize that life-altering changes need to be made. Good luck with not drinking with friends. I'm sure it is going to be an entirely different experience. Be prepared to be a little bored. You obviously won't be in the same state of mind as your drinking friends, and I'm sure you'll wake up tomorrow very very glad of that. Welcome to MYO.

Julie

[abby1]

Sat. night get-together

Retteacher & Finally Sober,
Welcome to MWO...... I too struggled with drinking on & off for 30 some years . In the last 7 years more on than off. I have been alcohol free for the last three month. Something I thought I could/would never do. Finally, I found in social situations if you are honest with people they are cool with you not drinking. In fact I found being honest to friends family and myself was the best way to help with my drinking problem.
This program was helped me than I can shout from the moutain tops. Especially the wonderful support. Good luck with your journey.
Abby