Congratulations for your one year Allan :wd: Amazing and inspiring
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How to make it a whole year sober!
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How to make it a whole year sober!
allankay;1550720 wrote: It is a very common problem. I think your tone of voice is very important. If you are too involved in your answer people will pick it up and will try to quiz you about it. Brush it off with a short answer and move on to the next topic. If this person is important to you then I found it helpful to turn the question around and say something like "why is it important to you that I drink?" ....This turns the attention away from you and now that person needs to justify themselves to you not the other way around.
AKAF since Halloween 2016
Trying to kill my Wine Witch! :smileyb:
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How to make it a whole year sober!
Congrats on your 1 year and here's to many more! Also, thank you so much for sharing.....I love the 15 minute rule.Miley
"The moment you are ready to quit is usually the moment right before a miracle happens..don't give up"
[COLOR=Magenta]Joyfully AF Since 1/22/14
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How to make it a whole year sober!
Allan, I just noticed that like me, you quit smoking and drinking at the same time. I didn't know at the time if I was being smart or not, but it's working for me so far.
I am so glad you made it this weekend as I was kind of feeling a bit 'what now' as August was coming to an end. I think my quit date was July 5th, so most of July and all of August have been AL and Nic free. You have inspired me to really think long term and feel confident about it. Thank you for sharing your success and your tips with usWhatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it! ~ Goethe
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How to make it a whole year sober!
Allan Kay I'm so impressed.
I love your words of wisdom and will take them to heart. I will never have to go through the first 30 days again but I have to agree isolating myself helped a lot. I will pass on your advice to the newbies I meet.
Thanks for sticking around and inspiring us all!Newbies Nest
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My accountability thread
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How to make it a whole year sober!
broken halo;1550793 wrote: Allan, I just noticed that like me, you quit smoking and drinking at the same time. I didn't know at the time if I was being smart or not, but it's working for me so far.
I am so glad you made it this weekend as I was kind of feeling a bit 'what now' as August was coming to an end. I think my quit date was July 5th, so most of July and all of August have been AL and Nic free. You have inspired me to really think long term and feel confident about it. Thank you for sharing your success and your tips with us
AKAF since 1st Sep 2012
NF since 1st Sep 2012
If you want to feel better visit www.hopeforpaws.org
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How to make it a whole year sober!
Wine-no!;1550712 wrote: I just wanted to add my congratulations - one year - fantastic!!
I will learn from your advice. Thank you for posting the points that helped you.
I am still really bugged by people quizzing me about not-drinking... There is one bloke who does it every time... He says things like 'why aren't you drinking darling?' Then follows with comments about how he knows I like a drink etc. etc. and how he has only seen my husband drunk once etc. etc. Last time he did this, I told him to just spit out what he was trying to say... Wish I hadn't lost my rag but it really bugs me that he's accusing me of drinking too much on one hand but then questioning why I am not drinking on the other (all of this done when he was pissed by the way). Hmmm. I like the way you say 'why?'.. I really like that.. After all, it's no ones business and why should they be so interested in why we're not drinking? I guess it makes them question their own drinking habits?
Anyway, thanks again and all the best for AF year two!AF since 9 December 2012 :yay:
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How to make it a whole year sober!
allankay;1550439 wrote: Tomorrow will be one year since I quit drinking. It has been the best decision I have made in my life. There are no second thoughts or second guesses. I am truly grateful to have achieved what seemed completely impossible the same time last year. I am here to share what has worked for me and hopefully it will help someone on this forum
1) 30 day isolation. The first thirty days are by far the hardest and I decided to completely shield myself from the outside world. Phone off, no going out, no birthdays, parties... Just a lot of posting on MWO. It really helped to know that people were going through the same emotional up and downs as me
2) 15 minute rule. At first it is really hard to imagine a lifetime of sobriety, so instead I allowed myself the possibility to drink again, however, I would have to sit down and think for 15 minutes before buying a drink. To be honest cravings never last that long, thinking about pros and cons, remembering all the horrible things that I did drunk put me off every time, for the duration of a year. By the end of those 15 minutes I would always decided that not drinking is a long term solution to happiness and no amount of alcohol is worth sacrificing it. The longer I went AF the more I had to lose by giving in and the easier it became to say "NO".
3) Social situations. Knowing how to react to peoples questions about your sobriety. It was very hard at first and I had to come up with excuses. However, nowadays I am happy just saying "I don't drink" "Why?"
"I just don't"
Most people don't ask again and those that have a problem with it are usually the people that you don't want anything to do with.
Those are the main points that got me through the year. I am a lot happier and more level. I have more disposable income. I feel proud. People can now rely on me.
It is a journey definitely worth taking!!!!
Allan
when I wasn't drinking I was at a family gathering and said no I don't drink only to find one of the nephews girlfriend swapped my non alcholic drink for hers ...deliberately .....ofcourse i noticed it straight away but they thought it was a good joke
also I have a house full of drinkers coming and going
I'm glad it worked for you
I hope I will be able to say how to conquer it for a year
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How to make it a whole year sober!
Hi ak..firstly apologies for missing your one year ..very well done and may there be many more
Secondly, your strategy is good ..mine was very similar tho up to 30 days is def the hardest ..also then all your major milestones..it is REALLY important to remain on the forum irrespective of what thread you are on,because at each of your milestones,you feel so pleased with yourself that you have achieved it,you want to share it and everyone to be happy for you ,whereas in the real world no-one gives a .... because they are so busy ,and secondly they didnt know you had a problem because you never identified it to anyone.
How many times have you heard the phrase "theres such and such ...now he/she likes a good drink",and thats how its seen.
Your 15 min rule is brill..Instead of that I used to think lots of questions ,,and write them down in some cases ,do I need a drink ,benefits of it ,not drinkng what ifs , health , financial, capabilities all sorts of things and just like you say it subsided ..also drink water at the same time...called surfing the crave.
AKthis started as a personal congrats to you so I apologise for woffling on ..but between us if anyone reads this and tries the ideas on this thread and it works then its worthwhile ...best of luck for year 2..btw youll need the brolly in the avatar today!!!:Haf since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 12
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How to make it a whole year sober!
13sept;1552522 wrote: I dont know that that would work with me 2 many people coming and going and my drinking is usually done alone
when I wasn't drinking I was at a family gathering and said no I don't drink only to find one of the nephews girlfriend swapped my non alcholic drink for hers ...deliberately .....ofcourse i noticed it straight away but they thought it was a good joke
also I have a house full of drinkers coming and going
I'm glad it worked for you
I hope I will be able to say how to conquer it for a year
I had a choice of removing people like that from my life and I have a completely new circle of friends. I wish I knew what to say but you do not have an option of removing yourself from your family...
I do not understand why they do not show you respect with this life changing decision. Their behaviour is very cruel!
AKAF since 1st Sep 2012
NF since 1st Sep 2012
If you want to feel better visit www.hopeforpaws.org
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