completed 30 days but unsure

[Rahulthesweet]

Hello everyone,

I completed 30 days of being AF. In last 15 years or so I have never been AF so long my last record was 11 days. I must thanks all in MWO support and most importantly encouragemen without which I wpuld never have made it so far.

I have heard from all of you about avoiding triggers and situations which might tempt me to drink. I was hard for me as I was drinking everywhere - when in town, when away. When in car or in flight. At home in hotel etc etc. It became my favorite pass time as I was not drinking myself but as If I am offering myself to AL on daily basis.

Every outing whether out with friends or family or even driving with kids in car I was drunk. When my first child was born I was high when my second one I drank more. Looking back it makes me sick.

Last 30 days I travelling to same placed where I had history of drinking alone and drinking a lot. But controlled myself.

This month I will be attending conference in Las Vegas and will be in NYC teo places I had travelled in past with sole objective of drinking in past.

Need your support as my mind has still not acceoted that I will never drink again.

[Miley]

completed 30 days but unsure

Rahul...,Congratulations on 30 days!!!!!

I can only speak from my limited experience and I am sure others will pipe in but my advice would be to keep going and don't look back! I wish like hell that I had kept going after I got 30 days under my belt in June....I caved in on vacation (Day 31) and have had such a struggle to get back on track. I wish I could go back in time and re-do it all over again. There has been no benefit at all for from drinking again and it has been harder to stop this time. I hear from the others that with every stop it get's harder.

Keep on going....one day at a time. It takes more than 30 days to get ourselves out of the alcohol fog but you have a good head start. Stay close.....we are here to support you!

[pixie]

completed 30 days but unsure

Hi Rahul, and congratulations on 30 days! I know how hard that can be when you've been drinking steadily for years.

Miley is right, it does take more than 30 days to get out of the fog, so why not set your next goal for 60 days? Don't think about not drinking forever, just think about today. It does keep getting better and better, so look forward to how you will feel at 60 days! Good luck!

[NoSugar]

completed 30 days but unsure

Hi, Rahul

Remember this guy;?

Rahulthesweet;1539453 wrote: What a mess I have made my life into.

That was your first post. Your life is no longer a mess! Taking it one day at a time, you have done more than 30 days. Like Pixie and Miley said, it will only get harder to start again and you don't need to think about forever.

It was sometime after I had achieved 30 days that I realized I just never wanted to drink again and was going to do whatever it took to accomplish that. It was a feeling that just evolved. You can't force it -- just keep not drinking and give yourself time.

There have been some struggles and tears over the last several months and I'm sure there will be more in the future, but I really believe that not giving up your quit is worth whatever it takes, Rahul!

And quit worrying about your sweet tooth for now :H. I promise you that can be dealt with once you are on firm AF ground!

All the best to you, :h NS

[C-Developer]

completed 30 days but unsure

Rahulthesweet,

I understand your apprehension about travel. I also have a business conference in Las Vegas that I leave for tomorrow, and I am terrified that I may also fall victim to old habits when surrounded by my business associates and clients.

I got some fantastic advice from people on the subject, and look up one of my past posts called "vegas trip" and you can read the input from some other members there.

We have to do what is best for both our careers and for ourselves by staying sober, and prove to our respective companies that we can be leaders, not just another empty suit that falls victim to the lowest common denominator. If we are going to be in Vegas at the same time, I will give you my cell via PM if you want and we can meet up for dinner or blackjack

C

[broken halo]

completed 30 days but unsure

Hey Rahul,

well done on your thirty days buddy, awesome! You never thought you could achieve 30 days but you did, and you are happier, stronger and healthier for it.

I'm agreeing with the others, why not make your next target 60? I'm 60 days tomorrow and my next target is 100, I want to be able to get onto that 100 day thread in the abstainers section!

You have done amazingly well so far Rahul, if you and CDev meet up, let us know how you get on!

[Rahulthesweet]

completed 30 days but unsure

C-Developer;1551151 wrote: Rahulthesweet,

If we are going to be in Vegas at the same time, I will give you my cell via PM if you want and we can meet up for dinner or blackjack

C

Hey Cdev I will be in vegas around 21 September when are you going thanks for the encouragement.

[Byrdlady]

completed 30 days but unsure

Rahul, I saved this post from a friend of mine, K-Tab. Maybe it will help you, as it did me. Here is the post:


Letting go.

Acceptance and denial seem to me to be key elements of moving on. How many of us have truly 100% accepted our alcoholism and let go of the niggling doubt that maybe somehow someday the clock could magically be turned back to a time when we were 'normal'?

As I see it, it is very simple, we have two choices, accept our problem, make the life changing changes necessary or continue to skirt the real issue. I have been clean now for a little while but a couple of weeks ago the friday night feeling hit and the thoughts of how nice a beer or two would be in the local and the cravings of course started. Two beers would have been nice and I am pretty sure I could have stopped at two but it would just have awoken the beast in me again and I would drink again the next day. Maybe its only me but food is somewhat similar, when I get in the mood for say a pizza or an indian meal and dont have it that night, the thought will sit there semi dormant but I will end up eating that food at some time over the next couple of days. I wonder if this is indicative of how the craving and reward centers of my brain are programmed.
Anyway I digress, I didnt drink on the friday but of course the thoughts werent far away and on saturday afternoon I was in the supermarket and found myself in front of the mountain of wine bottles, I picked one up and put it back down, I had allowed the thought to come to me 'hey about a bottle of wine to have with dinner?' I ran with it and then it came the 'maybe you should get two just in case' Then it hit me like a sledge hammer who was I kidding, this addiction wasnt going to go away, the alkie thinking was still there, the lying, the hiding the sneaky drinks were only a breath away. I stopped and bought a bottle of coke.

So I got to thinking about this, was there some part of me still clinging onto the idea that I can drink again? Obviously there is. So what do I do about it? I am back to the two choices, either I accept this or I dont. I believe it is very hard for us to accept that this is our life now and I think that is why so many here keep failing time after time, because they dont give it over totally, I am probably one of the biggest offenders.

If there is a big grey animal in the room with a tusk and a trunk it can only be an elephant. If I am still here posting on an alkie forum after nearly three years looking to help my problem drinking then I am an alcoholic, so if I am born 4 foot 6 with a one ear, green eyes and a big conk I cant change that can I? no more than I can change the fact of my alcoholism either but I can accept the fact. Ok, thats sorted, so without being over dramatic I can stop drinking or I can continue which would undoubtably take years off of my life and result in the quality of the years I have left a hollow shell of what they could be.

After true acceptance comes a sense of relief, a sense of peace and the first step on the path to gratitude for finding however we did the true escape and the right to lead a full and proper life without the ball and chain of AL chaffing the skin on our ankles.
Letting go sounds good to me, how about you?

[Rahulthesweet]

completed 30 days but unsure

[QUOTE=Byrdlady;1551201]

So I got to thinking about this, was there some part of me still clinging onto the idea that I can drink again? Obviously there is. So what do I do about it? I am back to the two choices, either I accept this or I dont. I believe it is very hard for us to accept that this is our life now and I think that is why so many here keep failing time after time, because they dont give it over totally, /QUOTE]

Byrdlady I absolutely love your posts. They are so inspiring. And your above post is the exact station I am today. While I might feel proud I know I have not accepted the fact that I don't have drinking problem and there is a part of me which says "hey .... It was no big deal ! You have controlled it so you can have a drink or two".

The other day my wife asked me after my telling that I have been AF for about a month. She asked to promise her that I will never drink again. But I just could not.

Thanks for your post and going ahead I will need more support.

[Rahulthesweet]

completed 30 days but unsure

NoSugar;1551140 wrote: Hi, Rahul

Remember this guy;?

That was your first post. Your life is no longer a mess! Taking it one day at a time, you have done more than 30 days. Like Pixie and Miley said, it will only get harder to start again and you don't need to think about forever.

It was sometime after I had achieved 30 days that I realized I just never wanted to drink again and was going to do whatever it took to accomplish that. It was a feeling that just evolved. You can't force it -- just keep not drinking and give yourself time.

All the best to you, :h NS

Yes nosugar it's hard to marine it was me and I seems a life life time ago. In past days evening though I was travelling for about 15 days I spend more time with my kids then I ever did even when I was in town for entire month ! Every day I was out of house on pretext of some excuse drinking ! Coming back home and collapsing ... Kids of even caring what I was doing. Now I every evening I play xbox with my kids and also knowing then probably for first time. It's feels great !!

[damo180]

completed 30 days but unsure

Congrats on 30 days and really hope you ( and i ) can keep going

[witts end]

completed 30 days but unsure

good for you rahl.....keep it up

[little beagle]

completed 30 days but unsure

Rahul I am very proud of you. 30 days is huge. :wave:
Many see the struggle you go through, the goals you achieve and they are inspired. This is something we do for ourselves. To better our lives. From reading your posts, I can see your life is vastly improved. Promise your wife this."I don't know about forever, but today I am 100% yours. And I will give you as many todays it is in my human power to do." I can tell you as a wife with a husband with a problem that would mean everything. My hubby has actually said something similar recently to me.

[TJAF]

completed 30 days but unsure

Raul. Congratulations on 30 days. I know how you feel. Someone on mwo posted a thought that I go to if tempted. Just repeating the words "I don't drink" is a simple but point on mantra. In my 37 days Ive been on a fishing trip, out of town on business and just back from a long labor day weekend at our cabin. Made it through with that simple phrase in mind. Great job on 30 days race you to 60.