Damn drinking thoughts.

[broken halo]

It's no surprise really. After years of conditioning that time off work equals freedom to drink as much as I wanted, I should have expected it, I think I had pushed it aside from early evening. Our shops stop selling alcohol from 10pm, and from 9.30 I was having that old internal argument with myself. One bottle of wine, just have two glasses. 10 Benson and Hedges, you don't have to smoke them all. You can still make the shop easily. You've done so well, you deserve a treat. A glass of wine and a ciggie in the bath before bed, just like old times.

I had to really think about what I was thinking and why. Was I actually physically craving? I don't think I was. It was my old self, glamourising the drinking and smoking. Pretending to my sober self that I can't actually truly relax and enjoy my time off without my old habits. I imagined the smell of the wine, the taste of the cigarette catching in the back of my throat. I saw myself drinking it, finishing the bottle, smoking all 10 of the cigarettes and how utterly crap they would both make me feel. I went and read an article on the effects of smoking and drinking on blood pressure and decided a stroke or a heart attack would not be a good idea.

I didn't give in. But I am trying to learn as much as I can from the experience, I dare not become complacent. I am off to bed now, sober and smoke free, but really for a wee while there it was touch and go. I have to figure out now why I even thought of sabotaging myself like that. Goodnight everyone.

[damo180]

Damn drinking thoughts.

Well done bh , i have had similar nights recently without the nicotine. I think you will wake up grateful tomorrow . I actually started a similar thread about nicotine and al addiction !
Off now to bed also and happy to get another af day in. Heading for 30 days.
Hope all is well for you

Damo in Dublin

[witts end]

Damn drinking thoughts.

I'm glad I'm not the only one last saturday from morning till bed all i thought about was having a glass of wine ......the craving was so intense ......i also dare not be complacent i know i will hit it hard if i do and will be back to square one ... i have to remember when my nerves were shot and i had the shakes so bad ...and how it really controlled my life and the mess it made of my life......please don't let me go back there ... the constant headaches .... sorry but i have to make a list as to why not so I don't give in

[little beagle]

Damn drinking thoughts.

Bhalo and Witts you are both being so strong. It is hard but so worth it as you both know. Keep up the good fight.

[sparkles143]

Damn drinking thoughts.

Feeling the same right now but not giving in !

[C-Developer]

Damn drinking thoughts.

Funny you should mention this Halo, but I had a dream that I was drunk a couple of nights ago. It is somewhat odd too, since I virtually never recall my dreams unless they are extremely nightmarish. It was very vivid and realistic as well, to the point that I almost felt guilty for it the following morning.

I know the cravings that you are speaking of all too well, which is why I have been doing my best to barricade myself in my apartment for the last couple of weekends

[Lavande]

Damn drinking thoughts.

Hang in there folks -
thoughts are just thoughts, you don't have to act on them
Learn to dismiss them quickly, don't let them linger. Honestly, the thoughts will come less frequently once some AF time passes. Hang in there

[YouKayBee]

Damn drinking thoughts.

Recognising the thoughts is half the battle, you can say "Yes I feel like drinking, but I don't have to" and bat them away.

[broken halo]

Damn drinking thoughts.

Thanks everyone, it's good to know I am not alone. I really do feel good today, I am so glad I didn't give in. Witts, Damo , Sparkles and CDev, thanks for sharing, we have proved we are able to get past the hairy times, that will be useful when they hit us again,remembering how we got through it. It's not easy but it's so worth it!

I also want to say a wee thank you to allankay. He posted in his one year thread the other day about his 15 minute rule, invaluable stuff AK, thank you!

Thank you Lav and LB, your ongoing support and encouragement are also invaluable.

Thanks UK. Have a great day everyone.

[sanchez]

Damn drinking thoughts.

Way to go Halo for not giving in. I was also thinking about AllanKay's 15 minute trick as a way of helping us all through these cravings - seems to be simple, but yet effective way to handle the beastly cravings. Even a glass or two is not worth the headache, the bloodshot eyes, the tossing and turning as the al sugar kicks in at 3:00 a.m., or the mere regret of it all and starting over. Or, God forbid the slipperly slope we create with that one glass. Halo, WE and Sparkles - well done on resisting.

We all get them - so you're not alone and by posting your thoughts, I think it helps. Someone is always around being such a global site to help you through. Just made it through a long weekend myself with relatives and LOTS of drinking going on all around, but managed to keep the faith and stay sober throughout. Love the morning feeling of waking up, not on a couch, or on a floor, or a spare bedroom, but in my own little bed!

I do have to say though, as I sit there drinking my sparkling water and everyone else is drinking around me, I do get bored. Especially as the conversation starts to go downhill, I really get bored. The other night, this was happening and I excused myself and went inside to watch the U.S. Open tennis tourney. At least it seemed more productive! lol I just want to go do something, laundry, dishes, play tennis, anything. Prior, I was in there with them all, spending my time drinking! Wow - what a huge time waster. It's not like it's over a meal, at least, to start anyway. It's just sitting around a table drinking. Yikes! What a reaization that is for me. How many hours wasted doing that. And, to boot, looking forward to it! We'll never have those hours back, but we can make the most of our hours going forward, being productive, moving, and healthy.

[lifechange]

Damn drinking thoughts.

thanks for sharing that bHalo!-- I've been thinking a lot the past couple days about the changing of habits and mindset. I'm so surprised at the intensity of the cravings sometimes and at the way we try to convince ourselveswe that it's ok to give in. The rationalizing. You did an awesome job and it's good for me to hear about experiences with fighting hard and coming through victorious. Glad you brought up the 15 minute rule again-- is that one of the tools you used? I have to keep that in mind.

[Byrdlady]

Damn drinking thoughts.

BH, I was writing the other day in the 100 Day thread that I had a strong thought the other day...and after I wrote that, I'd read that another member with 4 years had one. I reckon we are to expect that the beast will try and revisit us from time to time. The good news is that (like Lav says), these are just thoughts, and I now have the skills to push them out before they grow legs!! Keep on the course, you are doing great!! Your fan, Byrdie

[sparkles143]

Damn drinking thoughts.

So happy I did not give in... On Day 7. This morning I was up 3 hours before I am in my office... Baked chicken put ribs in crock pot sat outside and had coffee did carpool got gas and I have a few minutes to write this post !!! Now a few weeks ago this morning would have been completely different I would have been on low fuel no lunch packed no sitting outside enjoying the morning and rushing into the office. I choose the 1st sentence! This is it this is why we are doing this to feel the first of two scenarios! Thank you for this post last night. Truly helped seeing I wasn't the only one...

[Pinecone]

Damn drinking thoughts.

Hi BH, I hope you are doing well. Good job on not caving. A lot of us have been a little "off" lately! We might have the resources to endure the thoughts, but they are awfully annoying. I think we just have to get back to basics when this happens. Pull those thoughts out like the weeds they are and don't let then take up any space in your head.

I'm glad you posted here instead of the awful alternative.

[TJAF]

Damn drinking thoughts.

C-Developer;1551335 wrote: Funny you should mention this Halo, but I had a dream that I was drunk a couple of nights ago. It is somewhat odd too, since I virtually never recall my dreams unless they are extremely nightmarish. It was very vivid and realistic as well, to the point that I almost felt guilty for it the following morning.

I know the cravings that you are speaking of all too well, which is why I have been doing my best to barricade myself in my apartment for the last couple of weekends

Wow I had a dream last night that I had been drinking...talk bout the power of suggestion. Boy did I feel guilty this morning even though it wasnt rational.