Where do you find the courage?

[rednose]

Please forgive me if this post seems like a poor me pity party.
I can?t tell you how many days I have woke up hung over, in trouble and
Absolutely miserable with my life because of drinking.
I have been on here before and had 18 days AF. That was at least 5 months ago if not more.
My question is very simple.
Where do you find the strength to start caring about yourself enough to stop with the damn drinking and get day one under your belt?
I have said so many times that this is the day I am going to stop today and make it thru day one. Well I have not made it and it seems as if I really no longer care enough about myself to stop this insanity.
I know this is an inside job and no one can do it for me. The problem is I can?t seem to do it for myself as I sit here drinking a glass of wine after another and another.

I would appreciate any insight you have but deep down I know I am the only one who can care enough about me to make me not take that first drink.

Thanks to you all.

rednose

[Samstone]

Where do you find the courage?

I'm not sure that I would call it strength, rather resolve. I found that once I realized I was poisoning myself (any hangover will prove that), I got that one week behind me with no booze, and I hope I never look back.

Sam

[3June2013]

Where do you find the courage?

Rednose I am out of town on my phone so I will have to be brief, for that I apologize. You came here because you know you need help. Read all you can and post all you can. "Saying" it out loud makes it real. The best advice I can give you is start by giving yourself one day AF. See how that feels. Then go from there. The way to get through that first day is to get any AL out of your house and isolate yourself from any outside influences that aren't fully supportive. Get some tasty AF alternatives as well as lots of really good food. Movies? Stay here? Do whatever it takes one hour at a time.

It is worth every uncomfortable moment, I promise.

Also, check into the newbies nest link where there are more posters. Introduce yourself, we're really a good bunch!

[Unwasted]

Where do you find the courage?

Rednose, I'm working on all this too. I think for me it's the final realization that there is absolutely nothing good about alcohol -- internalizing that shift in thinking.

Have you thought about joining the Newbies' Nest?

[available]

Where do you find the courage?

Rednose hello, just keeping this site open has helped me. I have it at work and at home. When i feel like a drink i post and read. I think the eye opener for me was embarrassing myself at my nieces 21st and thinking how could I let AL do this to me. Its one day at a time and you will really be proud of yourself for achieving an AL free day. Its just one day at a time. The cravings become less and you learn strategies, you will feel better not hungover, the shakes go, you eat again, the sun shines more brightly and you will be a lot happier.

Good luck with your journey and post away.

[broken halo]

Where do you find the courage?

Hi Rednose,

Where do you find the strength to start caring about yourself enough to stop with the damn drinking and get day one under your belt?

You found the strength to post so honestly here, so you obviously do care about yourself, maybe more than you think right now. For me it wasn't about strength or courage, it was self preservation. My last day 1 was so horrible I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, let alone myself. Stay with us, you can do this. Un is right, shifting your thinking and managing your mindset are so important. Read, lots. And keep posting :welcome:

[Lavande]

Where do you find the courage?

Rednose,

I believe that we all have the courage to quit drinking. The problem is we mask our courage with all the BS we keep telling ourselves & believe! AL is not our friend, not a treat, it is poison.

Strip away the BS & you will find your courage
Be completely honest with yourself & decide. Do you really want to continue to allow AL to control your life?

Wishing you the best Rednose, you can do this!

Lav

[Cinders]

Where do you find the courage?

Rednose,

It took me years to get to where I was truly ready to quit drinking. I mean years and much lost and much damage to myself, my loved ones, my soul.

When I was ready, I was resolved. I told myself that no matter how crappy I felt sober, no matter how bad things got, no matter how angry and irritated, no matter how anxious and worried, I would not drink. Period.

Oddly, I was all set for the worst. No matter what, I would get and stay sober until death. What has actually happened is that I have had more great days than bad days. I was actually unprepared for the good. It has been almost harder to stay sober on the good days than the bad ones!!

I have had rough days. I have had irritability and discontent. I have also had joy and laughter. I have also had days when I felt neither. Just flat days.

Being sober, for me, has been learning to just be me, no matter what, and just take what comes, no matter what. Comfortable all the time? No. A blessing? Yes.

Never give up giving up. You will win if you do.

Cindi

[YouKayBee]

Where do you find the courage?

Rednose

The strength is already there, hell how on earth do you think alcoholics manage to keep drinking despite the negative consequences, health, job, family, relationship issues?

You get to a state were you are prepared to change it, so fed up it's no longer acceptable then you can tap into that courage.

[rednose]

Where do you find the courage?

So I start today as day one.

Thank you all for your words of encouragement and hope.
I am afraid to fail but I think I am more afraid to keep on drinking. My body is not dealing with alcohol well anymore. My mind is as dull as a butter knife and I am just plain miserable.
But I also know I have been here before and have gotten as much as 18 days AF.
I don't want to fail again. I don't know if I have another failure in me at this point.

So here I go off to the races no Alcohol in the house, Phone numbers to call if I feel like drinking, this site, And I hope to find the inner strength not to go back to the bottle.
The next couple of days are going to be hell I know. I have saturated my body with alcohol over the last 5 months or more so I know there is going to be a price to be paid to get the poison out of my system.

Thank you all in advance for your help and advice.

rednose... 7:16 am AF :thanks:

[K9Lover]

Where do you find the courage?

I finally quit when drinking became harder than not drinking. The never ending quest for beer, rotating liquor stores, getting rid of the cans, overdrawing my bank account, pretending I was sober when I wasn't, struggling through each work day with my head spinning....it was exhausting! Now I don't have to worry about any of that. AND I don't wake up at 3:00am with the weight of the world on my chest.

I understand being "scared" to quit, after all, you've been drinking a long time. But do not fear being sober...fear NOT getting sober....

We're with you Red...hang in there!!

[Samstone]

Where do you find the courage?

As Byrdie says, I never regretted not drinking last night

[spiderwoman]

Where do you find the courage?

Hello again Rednose, wondered how you were getting along. It really is as K9 and the others have said, drinking becomes such a chore and bore. The thing I had to do was get very selfish indeed about the quitting. Keep away from drinking friends and places where you did your drinking, if that is home even sit in another room. Give yourself any other kind of treat you fancy, you can do it with your alcohol money. Keep reading above all else, keep posting, even if it doesn't make too much sense, keep a glass of something non-alcoholic in your hand at ALL times, even if you don't want a drink of anything.

Think of every AF day as a brick in the wall of your booze free life, soon that wall will be high enough to keep AL away from you.

Sylv x

[FlyAway]

Where do you find the courage?

K9Lover;1551614 wrote: I finally quit when drinking became harder than not drinking.

That was it for me too. It was like a switch was turned off and I was done. One day I woke up and thought, "Thank God, I don't have to do this anymore." I actually looked forward to not drinking ever again. The possibility of drinking was gone from my life.

[damo180]

Where do you find the courage?

Hi rednose , just want to add my support.
There is already great advice here.
I would like to add that i first came a few years back , have had a few long af periods.
Each and every time i have come back after a relapse , it has got tougher.
Stick with this site and make sobriety your no.1 priority.
It will get easier i promise . If you can get through this tough early stage , you will never have to go through it again.
We are all rooting for you.

Damo in Dublin