Im on Day 8. I feel absolutley fantastic minus some headaches and an extreme desire to take a nap at 200pm everyday which is the time I get home from work and then pick up kids at 230, LOL so thats ok, ill have another iced tea and move on with it.
I miss having a huge glass of wine or a bottle and would have done so approximatley 3 times in the last 8 days, well that is over 2000 calories who knows how many carbs, how many restless sleep nights, how many feeling like crap so i will eat junk food and not exercise and then blame chores not being done on kids sports my job and my husband. Its simple really, dont drink because when I drink a light switch flips and I want a whole bottle or more of red wine a meritage a cab a merlot.... I wish I could get back to the place where I can have a glass of wine, but i dont know if its possible. Only time will tell.
I have an appointment with an addiction specialist next Monday. I am starting to waiver thinking well being AF almost 14 days then maybe this time I can do it on my own, but part of me wants to move forward with it and seek their program outpatient of course but the therapy possibly meds to control thse cravings that I have given in to a 1000 times and then again say Im done for good only to give in again. I would like to get to the root of my drinking problem although I can probably spew out several reasons why I dont want that to define ME I hate that I can get past anything, I just have to make it so.
So I want to give a special thanks to those of you who have reached out to me during the past 8 days, Miley, Flossie and I would like to know where Caz22 is because I havent seen her in a while and I hope she is faring well.
I love this site. I feel a comraderie knowing that there are other people just like me out there battling this demon and that it is OK and we can do it.
A Little about me I am the stereotype Soccer Mom and Baseball Mom. I have 3 kids, in my early 40's live in So Cal work part time and am constantly on the run. If there is a Committee for PTA AYSO Baseball Im usually on it and a leader. I love crafting and sewing but dont have much time for that as we have Sports 6 days a week. But I will someday and then I will miss being Moms taxi so I am happy to do it. I try really hard not to drink in front of my kids because I know after the 4th glass they can tell and my daughter age 11 gets annoyed. I am divorced and remarried to an amazing guy and he likes to drink too. (of my 3 kids one is his son and 2 are my bio kids and we have no kids together by choice, 3 is enough they are age 11 11 8 and 2 are boys and 2 boys are enough to make a person drink )but my ex and I are now good friends and we live only a mile from each other. He has never remarried and we split in 2007 and just 2 weeks ago he drunk texted me and said he wished things worked out. I feel guilt about that even though he was a complete jerk and still is at times when we were married. The nights and weekends when my kids are with him is when I fall of the edge completely. I go from being so busy caring for the kids to this quiet empty house and it feels so weird its like my life stops, I cant explain it and I just go for the wine. Thats what I need to change. I know I can do it but I need to reprogram my brain or something. I can FEEL the physical cravings coming on as if my body knows they are going to their dads. So that is a little about me. I hope some can relate, I would love to chat and have another friend, Thanks again Flossie to go too.
Im on Day 8 Today I feel amazing and am so ready to take on this day and make it happen !!
Lets do this !
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