The realization

[gambler]

The realization

Sweet .. cool :thanks:

I never had an AF beer .. dont think I would like it. Besides any Carbonated drink ( for me ) isnt gonna help my AF days. I tend to Like Fizzy liquids if you know what I mean

I dont like POP so that narrows down the list anyways lol. Matter of fact I dont like sugary or sweet things.

Hey .. lemme ask you a few questions if I could. You may have already answered them.

1. Are you sweating still ? I didnt last night for the first time. But man o man did I wake up Stinking Bad for some reason lol. Right now I feel kinda clammy .. which I never had when I was awake.

2. Hows your head feel ? I have had a headache ( not bad just like pressure ache ) for 3 days.

3. Hows your thought focus ? For the past 15 hours I cant seem to like stay on one consistent thought for very long. Kinda like im on drugs and loopy. IE: went to transfer my smokes and sundries to the bed from the desk and found myself going back and forth a few times to make sure I had everything.

4. Hows your eating going ? I didnt/couldnt/feel like eating anything solid since monday up until last night when I forced a few hot dogs and chips down myself. I did drink a lot of V8 though.

5. Do you notice anything about your hearing ? Last night when going to bed I could hear almost everything at the same time. TV, A/C, Fan, Cars passing by .. etc.

Thats about all I can think of ATM ..

Stay on target .. Stay on target ..

[gambler]

The realization

Thanks Nosugar

I feel so much better knowing Im not going down this road on my own ..

And finding comonalities among others is .. well .. Invaluble to me.

[Fisher80]

The realization

gambler;1555439 wrote:
Hey .. lemme ask you a few questions if I could. You may have already answered them.

1. Are you sweating still ? I didnt last night for the first time. But man o man did I wake up Stinking Bad for some reason lol. Right now I feel kinda clammy .. which I never had when I was awake.

2. Hows your head feel ? I have had a headache ( not bad just like pressure ache ) for 3 days.

3. Hows your thought focus ? For the past 15 hours I cant seem to like stay on one consistent thought for very long. Kinda like im on drugs and loopy. IE: went to transfer my smokes and sundries to the bed from the desk and found myself going back and forth a few times to make sure I had everything.

4. Hows your eating going ? I didnt/couldnt/feel like eating anything solid since monday up until last night when I forced a few hot dogs and chips down myself. I did drink a lot of V8 though.

5. Do you notice anything about your hearing ? Last night when going to bed I could hear almost everything at the same time. TV, A/C, Fan, Cars passing by .. etc.

Thats about all I can think of ATM ..

Stay on target .. Stay on target ..

Thanks NS, trying to support each other, tough times are ahead.

Dave, I?d say that:

1. I was sweating in the night before Day 3, but today it seems way better. I am still drinking a lot of water. I think I had some 4 liters today.
2. This morning my head ached a bit also. Its been aching every morning, but every morning a bit less. I hope it is sorted out tomorrow morning if i get reasonable sleep.
3. Though focus is still very bad. I need it at work and all the days have been disastrous work wise. I honestly though that I am still drunk in the morning and tortured my breathalyzer a bit. Big fat zero obviously.
4. Eating is normal today and very good compared previous two days. My stomach is still a bit funny, but tomorrow it hopefully better.
5. No, my hearing is at least OK.

Hah, basically every my sentence is same - I hope it is better tomorrow

[gambler]

The realization

Gesh .. If I could get a good sleep period in that would be great LOL

Im a bit more on edge today than yesterday myself. Like when the phone rings It kinda startles me.. But I think most of that is lack of sleep.

I do know for a fact that today is in the Bag

So onto number 4 we go then

Keep on truckin'

[Done Like Dinner]

The realization

Fisher. It seems like I am going through the same thing as you but two days behind. Just trying to lay low and feel normal again. Day one for me.

[Fisher80]

The realization

Every day seems a bit brighter. Welcome and have a way better day two tomorrow!

[Softy]

The realization

Wise words - every day feels a bit better, head clearer, liver pains going away, more energy Keep On Keeping On:h

[Fisher80]

The realization

Captains Log. AF day 5 (just starting).

I started regularly drinking in the end of august 1998. I remember the date so precisely, because I left home then to live on my own.

After that I have managed double figures AF twice - 29 days some 7-8 years ago and 12 days some 3-4 years ago. That is all. Usually I get one AF day, sometimes two, very rarely three. Once six - I remember I was trying really hard.

That?s why yesterday (day 4 for god?s sake) I started to have some serious doubts. Can?t say I was craving really, I just started to think what is the point of all this (or maybe that is also a form of craving). Am I really so weak I can?t have a glass or two? Or maybe I can just go out to one of those parties I was asked to and be AF? C?mon, I am not an alcoholic, I just happened to heavily drink five days in a row (again), but I am OK now. I have three AF days under my belt and I can become a moderate drinker now.

I came straight to MWO and regained my senses. Reading your stories and feeling the support here reminded me why I ended up here in the first place.

It is scary how fast we forget. I have had these thoughts in my mind so many times before. This is how it starts every time. You are dying in hangover and shame after you finally get out of the loop, you heal yourself some 3-4 days and then you start the next loop. Yes, you might manage "just a couple of drinks" first night out, and maybe even the second. But it doesn?t take long until you are back in the beginning. Dying ... and promising that was the last time.

My sleep is still quite bad - I wake up couple of times at night, I see bad dreams and my heart is pumping a lot harder and faster than is needed for sleeping. Day 4 was quite OK - I am regaining self-confidence, feeling chattier and more focused. My body (and head) is not aching anymore. I just feel a bit uncomfortable inside my body. So the feeling is pretty much the best I?ve had for the last three or four years. But I am quite interested to see how much better it can get.

So, I decided to stay at home. Yesterday (friday). And today. Maybe next weekend I feel strong enough to go out.

[broken halo]

The realization

Fisher, hang in there and you will see how much better it can get! If you start getting those thoughts go back and read your first post and remember exactly how shitty you felt then. And no doubt on many occasions before that if you are anything like me.

Do people who are not alcoholic drink heavily five days in a row? I think not. That's exactly what I did previous to quitting and I wanted the ground to open and swallow me whole, I felt so bad.

I know you have read the toolbox thread, and lots of posts here, but you have to have a plan in place that works for you. Have you given that any more thought?

I am so glad to see you here, still sober. I happened to be online when you first posted and I was almost crying when I read it. I really felt for you because I knew EXACTLY what that felt like. It might be the weekend, but really, Friday is just another day.

You have done so well recognising where you have slipped up in the past and not wanting to repeat again. Stay strong, or you will have your quit buddy Dave to answer to!

[Fisher80]

The realization

Thanks for the kind words, bhalo. I?d gladly make a plan, I?m just having a bit tough time understanding what the plan should consist of. A collection of rules for myself? Number of days I want to stay AF? Something else?

[broken halo]

The realization

okay, let's start with the simple stuff. How do you plan to spend what used to be your drinking time?

What's your plan if you are in a social situation that you can't avoid and someone offers you a drink?

Are you going to use external help, such as AA, or counselling? Do you plan on using meds?

For me, from day one it was all about research. I didn't want to be a 'poor little me I can't drink because I am an alkie' quitter, because I knew I'd fail miserably. So I googled a lot and learned a lot about positive approaches, retraining my brain and how I thought. I have to take a positive approach, is just who I am. I have things that I tell myself every day when I get up. I had to read them at first, but now I can look at myself in the mirror and say them off by heart. And believe them, because on the whole, they are true

I can't take meds. even when the doc gave me Librium for wd's I couldn't bring myself to take them even though I thought sometimes I might die and often wished I would.

AA doesn't sit right with me, but SMART recovery appeals more. The thing is, everyone is different, but if you are looking at long term, you need some form of strategy to help prevent you from falling on your arse, as I almost did last weekend.

Some people swear by the hypno CD's, herbal remedies such as kudzu, there are all sorts of things out there.

There are a lot of people here who will be able to give you a lot better advice about this than I can, just do whatever works for you.

[gambler]

The realization

Hey Brother how you holding up ?

My Plans change Daily man. They change with how I feel at any given time. Sometimes one thing works one day but not the next. Be fluidic not rigid. "I will bend like a reed in the wind".

I think that if we stay rigid and then when the directions of emotion and feelings change ( and they will ) then your more likely to Snap.

Remember that we are a big sack of chemicals and elements. There IS chemistry going on here. We fucked it all up when we were drinking. Now we have to let our bodies Balance itself out.
We have to deal with whatever is going through our head at any given time. Dont fight it ! We are just along for the Ride man !

Im gonna PM you my #.

Your pard DAVE

[Byrdlady]

The realization

Fisher.. Hope this helps!

The "I Have a Plan" speech

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If this works you will have witnessed a second miracle (the first being I don't drink anymore) the second...a copy and paste:
Originally Posted by Byrdlady

4me. Well, I guess the master plan (or it was for me) was to quit drinking. But this is way too much to grasp at first. It's sad to even consider...besides it doesn't even seem possible. Lav will offer you her trusty wing as I think her plan is more structured than mine, but here is my take. Get your story together on what you are going to tell people when they look at you in disbelief that you aren't drinking. I'm enjoying "it was a New year's resolution to cut down and when I did I felt better so I just stopped. ' I've also enjoyed, 'it was aggravating a couple other things I have going on' (my liver and my marriage). Now if you are committed to stop drinking, you must stick to your story. I had to quit. (tried mod...couldn't..all or nothing) But if you are committed to stopping...take it one day at a time. Day 3 is a huge step, this is when AL doesn't show up in bloodwork. Day 6 is a bitch, but then day 7 is monumental...a week without booze and that includes a weekend!!! For me, on day 13 I had a change of thinking...I felt better and I got a sense that I could actually do this. Between day 13 and 30 your emotions will be all over the place...but knowledge is power, if you KNOW this, you can be prepared for it. Ride it out. Day 30, consider yourself well on your way. Then the days and weeks actually add up before you know it. Then there's the 100 day club. Now that's a big one. You get a prize and everything....eheheh. not really. But you do get kudos from the nest as that's a big thing. Plan to take yourself out of temptation's way. Plan what you are going to drink or order before going to the restaurant...this helps...visualizing it makes it more real. Eat something before you go, many times we confuse a craving with hunger...we are so used to drinking our meals, we don't know what hunger is. Set yourself up to succeed. Get your butt out of that wine aisle and don't put yourself where there will be big temptations.....stop longing because you are the only person on Earth not able to enjoy a cocktail...there is a whole world out there that doesn't drink, we just didn't pay attention to them when we were under the ether of ethanol. When you anticipate these things, they are easier to overcome. .I found solace in Charm's Blow Pop's ..that sugar rush kept my mouth happy and out of trouble. When you have a craving...eat something..it will pass and eating will help it. Somehow this has to do with your blood sugar. Know and make provisions for a mighty sweet craving. Do not worry about a pound or 2 right now..be good to yourself. Get the AL out of your home. We are all watching you and we will see if you sneak some!! eheheh. This is just a rough thought of what my plan was and continues to be. Visit this site as long as you want to keep your quit. Out of site out of mind....keep us close. We are here for each other....there is no question you can't ask and get an honest answer from someone. I hope that helps you in your plan for a plan. Hop in, we'll drive!! Byrdie

__________________
All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
Newbies Nest

[broken halo]

The realization

Wow, that's me told. I really was only trying to help. Sorry.

[gambler]

The realization

broken halo;1556373 wrote: Wow, that's me told. I really was only trying to help. Sorry.

NO NO NO Halo ! Im sorry I was not talking about that kind of Plan !

My mind was on a different Aspect of this. I may have misunderstood Fishers question.

Everything you said was GREAT !

Sorry about the confusion.. and my post was by no way directed towards your post.