Already thinking about controlled drinking!!

[TJAF]

Already thinking about controlled drinking!!

I posted this on another topic but it fits in with this discussion as well. As you can read the odds are stacked against us when it comes to moderation. God knows I 'be tried.

Alcohol Use Disorders by Dr. Marc Schuckit

"Abstinence often develops after a crisis, and the subsequent days to months of sobriety are often followed by temporary controlled drinking, which carries a subsequent enhanced likelihood of increasing intake and problems. This fluctuating course relates to the controversy about whether a person with an alcohol-use disorder can return to long-term controlled non-problematic drinking. Abstinence is the usual goal for treatment of dependence in the USA, although efforts to control drinking, or reduce harm, are more often deemed appropriate goals in the UK and other parts of Europe. Some studies have reported that about 20% of those with alcohol dependence were able to drink moderately without problems in the previous year, but this is often temporary, and other studies indicate that fewer than 10% ever develop long periods of non-problematic drinking."

[Sake123]

Already thinking about controlled drinking!!

TJAF - those statistics are not promising, are they? I have never been a controlled drinker UNLESS I had to be in a public place. As soon as I'm in a safe place, around fellow drinkers..all bets are off and the bottles are emptied. Thanks for the info.

[TJAF]

Already thinking about controlled drinking!!

No they are not. The study was published in the Lancet so it's been peer reviewed. In other words the numbers are valid. I tried for 10 years to be a normal drinker and I failed every bloody time. It just isn't in the cards for me. AF is the only path.

[nicelife]

Already thinking about controlled drinking!!

Sake - I quit for over six years then decided I'd conquered the beast.

Well, let's just say that the beast wasn't slayed, just laying there in wait.

On the 9th Sept I had another 2 years AF to add to my life. I still mourn the loss of the almost two years the beast and I wrested.

My second quit was THE hardest thing I've ever had to do - EVER!

Hold on tight to your AF time - it's precious, believe me!

[nicelife]

Already thinking about controlled drinking!!

Oh, I should add that if you have absolutely decided you want your life to be AF that is.

Sometimes it takes a while to decide for sure how we want our lives to be.

Each to their own, and I wish you peace and strength whatever journey you are on.

[Byrdlady]

Already thinking about controlled drinking!!

TJ, I've gotten into many a tinkling contest on this site about the subject of moderation. From what I see here, and mind you, there are about 3000 people coming thru here A DAY (according to the home page) I think the percentage of people who can actually moderate LONG TERM (longer than a couple weeks) is considerably less than 10%....I'd say it's less than 1%. I believe what some call moderation and what is ACTUALLY moderating by the book are 2 different things (7 units per week for women and 14 units for men). I believe in my heart of hearts that once you cross the line, you cannot go back. It is interesting to see that people will say they are successfully moderating and then go on to say, 'except I had 3 wines and 2 beers'....they'll say, 'this was a little more than I intended, but I'm not worried about it'. This is NOT successful moderating. This is denial. How do I know? I did it! I fooled myself into thinking that I WAS doing better than I had done....that may be true, but for an Alcoholic, ONE drink is too much. I am an alcoholic. So that's my 2 cents.....great thread!

[Sake123]

Already thinking about controlled drinking!!

Thanks Nice life!! I kind of understand where you're coming from. I was sober for 8 years and went back out drinking around 27. Took me 17 freaking years to come back to wanting to be sober! And still wrestle with this stupid addiction!

[Fisher80]

Already thinking about controlled drinking!!

Good thread, Sake. Thanks for your hint and tips, guys. I can also feel the weekend approaching, but this time I want it to be different!

[I'm Strong and in Control]

Already thinking about controlled drinking!!

I had to learn for myself, FROM myself that I can't moderate. Today I have learned that lesson and must keep reminding myself. On my desk calendar at work, everytime I drank, I marked the day with a yellow highlighter; everytime I drank more than I said I would drink, I crossed the yellow line with an orange "X". Every so often I turn back the pages of my calendar and see page after page of Orange lines. I'm also going on holiday and need a plan. Since I don't drink anything but wine, I'm thinking it is ok to drink beer, since the beer is supposedly so good in Europe. (I don't like beer). I love the things we tell ourselves. Sake, thanks for the link - don't have time to read it now but bookmarked it for tonight. Trying not to think about the weekend - invited to a friend's for dinner and games - there will be wine. I want to stay home because I know I am not ready to deal with it.

[NoSugar]

Already thinking about controlled drinking!!

An upcoming vacation is a great time to make real headway in all of this.

You'll be out of your normal drinking routine so it actually can be easier to break the pattern than when you're faced with the normal day-to-day triggers of time and environment. When I was trying to do this on my own, I was much more successful when traveling than when at home.

So, maybe as you plan your upcoming trips, part of that can be your plans for traveling as someone who doesn't drink. You'll probably meet some new people - they will never have known you as a drinker and it will be no big deal.

Picture yourself ordering club soda on the plane -- and perhaps ordering a more expensive dinner than usual when you go out to eat because of all the $$ you'll save on the always overpriced booze.

Don't substitute an alcoholic beverage you don't currently like - the sick part of your brain will develop a love for it immediately. People drink mouthwash and cough syrup so adjusting to the taste of beer is not going to be a stretch. An addict is capable of anything.

Picture yourself feeling GOOD each and every morning of these fabulous upcoming vacations. Then imagine the opposite and how you will feel. Really see yourself and how you'll look. Remember the quesey stomach and pounding head. All of this visualization in advance and "seeing" yourself behave in a certain way will make it so much easier to actually do it when you are in the situation. Rehearsal makes the live event almost easy.

You can make these some of the best vacations you've ever had. And you are so fortunate to be able to go to such wonderful places. It is in your power to make these the best trips of your lives.

:h NS

[Byrdlady]

Already thinking about controlled drinking!!

NoSugar, great post. I was a vodka drinker until Jan 31, 2010. I switched over to wine because I never had a problem with wine. Right.
AL is AL. For me, wine was vodka with a mustache. It doesn't matter the form, if it's got AL in it, our AL addicted heads will consider it a FIX. There at the end I drank a bottle of peppermint schnapps I had. OH GOD! So don't be fooled by that one. If it has .005% AL in it, I don't drink it. All you need is one small opening and AL will be alive again. I can hear him now.....'Look, you just proved you don't have a problem because BEER has AL in it, you did FINE with that....' BWAHAHAH! Then BAM! He's in. NO AL means NO AL. Sorry, no loopholes in addiction!!!! (I looked). Byrdie

[little beagle]

Already thinking about controlled drinking!!

I've looked too. One drink of something I don't like and I'm next door buying something I do like. No willpower after one drink. That's my problem. A nice relaxing af vacation sounds like heaven to me right now. I wish I had that luxury.

[oakley]

Already thinking about controlled drinking!!

I know how you feel. In the past, every time I have thought about my relationship with AL, I've thought in terms of moderation. The thought of no longer having it in my life as a crutch, as a form of relaxation, as a social activity etc...kind of overwhelmed me. But, like everyone else here has pointed out, we wouldn't be here if we could moderate our intake.

I think our goal at this early stage is to keep formulating our plan to stay al free daily and keep our mind focused on what we want; to be healthy and in control. We can't be that while we struggle, experimenting with al.

So, you aren't alone. Hang in there, friend.

[Softy]

Already thinking about controlled drinking!!

Fisher80;1555221 wrote: Good thread, Sake. Thanks for your hint and tips, guys. I can also feel the weekend approaching, but this time I want it to be different!

This is my problem too. I am dreading my first AF weekend.:upset:

I am day six today and have found it not too hard. Tomorrow will be hell.

[Lila Bergasso]

Already thinking about controlled drinking!!

I am five days clean today. Am getting a lot of flak from my husband about my last incident. I am ok now because I can curb the desire, but if I were in a bar, I would have no will power. Any suggestions on that situation? I would stay away all together, but too many functions require me to go to these places and I don't want to start, because I can't stop.